Gambling Addictions

Tag: compulsive gambling

  • Taking Control: Five Strategies to Repay Gambling Debt

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    Gambling, often seen as a form of entertainment, can easily spiral out of control, leaving individuals burdened with mounting debts. As the consequences of unchecked gambling behavior begin to settle in, the need to pay off those debts becomes a pressing concern. This article delves into five effective strategies that can help individuals regain control of their financial situation and repay their gambling debts, while promoting responsible financial habits.

    1. Create a Budget and Stick to It:

    The first step towards paying off gambling debts is to establish a comprehensive budget that includes all necessary expenses. This budget must prioritize debt repayment by allocating a significant portion of income towards this purpose. For instance, one can adopt the popular “50/30/20″budgeting rule, which designates 50% of income for essential expenses, 30% for discretionary expenses, and 20% for repayment of debts, including gambling debts. However, to achieve success, discipline and adherence to the budget are essential. Develop a clear understanding of fixed expenses, adjust discretionary spending to a minimum, and resist the temptation to indulge in impulsive purchases.

    2. Seek Professional Debt Counseling:

    Navigating the complexities of gambling debts may require professional assistance. Engaging the services of a certified debt counselor can provide valuable guidance in formulating a structured debt repayment plan. These experts specialize in assessing personal financial situations, providing customized advice, and negotiating with creditors to reduce interest rates or establish more manageable payment plans. Debt counselors can also help individuals develop healthier financial habits, reinforcing the importance of staying debt-free.

    3. Consider Debt Consolidation:

    Consolidating multiple gambling debts into one single loan can help simplify the repayment process, reduce overall interest rates, and lower monthly payments. Debt consolidation entails securing a loan typically offered by financial institutions, using it to settle existing gambling debts, and then repaying the new consolidated loan over an extended period. This approach allows individuals to primarily focus on repaying one loan, reducing the burden of tracking multiple debtors and varying interest rates. However, it is crucial to conduct thorough research to identify reputable lenders and carefully review the terms and conditions before committing to consolidation.

    4. Increase Income Streams:

    Augmenting existing income sources by exploring additional avenues is an effective method to expedite gambling debt repayment. Individuals burdened by substantial debts can consider taking up a part-time job alongside their full-time employment, engaging in freelance work, or even monetizing certain skills through online platforms. The additional income can be exclusively allotted towards paying off the gambling debts, accelerating the repayment process. Furthermore, this approach not only helps individuals settle their debts faster but also instills valuable work ethic and financial discipline.

    5. Embrace Lifestyle Changes:

    Overcoming gambling debts necessitates adopting lifestyle changes that promote financial stability and responsible behavior. This involves avoiding triggers that may lead to further gambling or excessive spending, such as visiting casinos or high-risk environments. Instead, individuals should engage in alternative activities that fulfill their interests and provide productive outlets for energy. Joining local support groups or seeking therapy can also aid in addressing the underlying issues that contribute to gambling addiction, fostering better mental and emotional well-being. Finally, maintaining open communication with family and loved ones can prove beneficial by fostering a supportive network and garnering their assistance in staying on track with debt repayment goals.

    Conclusion:

    Regaining financial control and repaying gambling debts require discipline, responsibility, and a proactive approach. By creating a budget, seeking professional debt counseling, consolidating debts, increasing income streams, and embracing lifestyle changes, individuals can successfully emerge from the clutches of gambling debts. However, it is essential to remember that these strategies are not a quick fix and require dedication, patience, and the cultivation of healthy financial habits. By implementing these measures, one can not only overcome gambling debts but also pave the way towards a more stable and secure financial future.

  • What are the benefits of Group Therapy?

    What are the benefits of Group Therapy?

    According to research by the Scientific American, around 2 million Americans have a gambling addiction. Around 1 in 165 men will experience gambling addiction in their lifetimes compared to 1 in 500 women. An estimated 98% of action gamblers are men. The number of people addicted to gambling is quite significant, and this is an actual and serious condition. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) puts gambling addiction in the same category as substance abuse diagnoses.

    Group therapy is an effective way of overcoming gambling addiction. It may be hard enough for you to ask for help and talk to a single counsellor or therapist, let alone bare your soul to a group of strangers. You may think that you will not be given enough time to discuss your thoughts and ideas or worry about having to share personal information with strangers. The truth is quite the opposite, your group therapy culture can be like that of the wonderful feeling and trust between close friends.

     There are certain benefits to group therapy in overcoming gambling addiction.

    • Being in a group therapy environment means having several other people to support you and help you set and achieve goals toward your gambling addiction recovery. It assures you that you are not alone in this battle.
    • Another member of your group therapy might bring up a challenge with which they are dealing. You might have a similar problem, only you see the problem from your perspective. When looking at other people’s situations, you will be able to see your problem in a new light. Suddenly, something very challenging might have an easy solution.
    • Attending group therapy sessions is a great way to experiment with different helpful behaviors. You can learn new ways of thinking and relate in a safe environment before facing the real world. You will also quickly learn that you are not alone in your feelings and thoughts. Several people likely share your experience.
    • Working with a gambling addiction group is the most natural way to overcome your problem. We work with other people in our jobs and our families. Humans are programmed to learn and grow in the presence of peers. Why should therapy be any different?

    I am a recovering gambling addict myself. I was skeptical of group therapy at first. The idea of baring my soul in front of a room full of strangers terrified me. I would take any excuse not to go. Doing dishes and tidying the house suddenly seemed so much more interesting and appealing. But when I finally did muster up the courage it changed my life. 

    Group therapy really works. It worked for me at least. I was at a difficult point in my life when I decided to get help for my addiction. I was afraid of what was going to happen. Will I be able to overcome my addiction? What will it take? Will I be able to fully recover or will I relapse? These questions haunted me for a long time.

     In group therapy when I saw a room full of people battling the same demons as myself, it gave me hope and confidence. I was not alone, you are not alone. We don’t have to deal with this alone. We can overcome this addiction. Only the first step is hard. It took me quite a while to go but in hindsight, I should have gone sooner. Group therapy is a really helpful and effective way of overcoming gambling addiction. From my personal experience, it is the best way for gambling addiction recovery.

  • Will I Ever Be Able to Watch Sport Again?

    Will I Ever Be Able to Watch Sport Again?

    If you are a compulsive gambler, then you most likely “borrowed” from credit cards, family, friends – anywhere where money was available, hoping to fund one more bet that gets you back on track. I know, because that is exactly my story. I didn’t get the big win to get my money back, but instead a huge debt. 

    Even after admitting I am a compulsive gambler, unexpected problem occurred: complacency and listening to ‘the voice’ (‘I have things under control so it will be fine to have one bet’). Fighting with my addiction also left me wander if I will ever be able watch sport again, without having an urge to gamble.

    For many years, I used to watch football, especially big tournaments like World Cup. Watching with my friends on the weekend somewhere in the pub and having few pints was special for me. I still remember times when “real” Ronaldo was playing. For me he was the best player in the world.

    For many of us, a sporting event is an opportunity to take some time out and indulge in something entertaining on an otherwise boring weekend. Even if we don’t make it to the stadium, we make sure to watch the live broadcast of the event when our favorite team is playing. Be it soccer or horse racing, we love watching them for the sheer fun and entertainment they provide.

    But there are many others who take the fun to an addictive level—something that costs them their valuable monetary earnings and savings. That’s the horror of sports betting and gambling addiction that’s engulfing millions of people in countries like the US and the UK. Major sports leagues, such as MLB, the NHL, the NBA and the likes have become avenues where sports bettors place bets (huge ones) and seek to multiply what they put in. 

    However, the results aren’t favorable always. Since it’s a game of chance, nothing’s guaranteed and people land up losing even their fortune to the urge to gamble more till they get something out of it. Rising debts and remortgages cause them immense mental and financial distress, and take a heavy toll on their overall wellbeing. 

    The good news is there is help. People who have become aware of this destructive pattern approach professionals to break it. Some of them even land up in a rehab center where they are kept away from any opportunity to watch sport lest they feel the urge to gamble again. Most of the awakened gamblers prefer not to watch live sport again because they find the ads and content triggering enough to fall off the bandwagon. In fact, they wish betting on sport was outlawed because many people fall in the addiction trap again.

    Nonetheless, if you are a recovering gambling addict, a lot depends on your willpower. If you choose to improve and stay on track, you will soon be able to watch sports without the urge of gambling away your hard-earned money. 

    If a bar with the football on TV, or a club with your favorite  slot machine is the beginning of the gambling trigger for you, then you should avoid going there for a while. I don’t trust myself and that is why I stopped checking the sports results for a while. My biggest worry is that I will be exposed to gambling promotions during sports broadcasts and I won’t be able to resist them.

    One day I hope I will be able to watch my favorite team playing, without having an urge to gamble. I cannot wait those times when I will be able to rediscover the joy of watching football again, without being sucked to the betting nightmare again.

  • Telling to My Fiancé

    Telling to My Fiancé

    My life was amazing. I was working as a chef where the income wasn’t that good, but l managed to make savings and afford almost everything I wanted. I am ambitious and have always wanted to achieve a lot in my personal and professional life. If I had opportunity to study or take extra courses, I took it.

    I had a beautiful fiancé, very independent, highly educated, with a successful career. We were tougher for almost 4 years. Every possible moment we tried to spend together. I couldn’t be more thankful for such a supportive and loving partner, that I truly wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

    We had so many dreams and great plans together. One of them was our own little family. After two years of trying to have a baby, we decided to go for an IVF treatment. Around that time I became a compulsive gambler. All my mood swings she understood as coping with negative pregnancy results that we were facing every month. She never pushed me and tried to understand why I was so down, because she assumed I needed space, as she needed it too. Coping with infertility and negative pregnancy results was extremely hard, especially for her. For me, it was just a continuation of my sorrows that no one knew anything about.

    She didn’t know I owed to the banks more than 40 thousand euros and this pressure was killing me. Although she is such a loving and supportive person, I couldn’t tell her the truth. I was so ashamed and I didn’t want to break the image of a strong, supportive partner that she had of me. I was sure she would leave me, if she knew how weak I was. None of us wants to be seen as weak and we are all used to pretend and keeping our heads high in every difficult situation, even when all we really want is to shout or cry… How well suited are Queen’s lyrics here: “Oh yes, I’m the great pretender, pretending that I’m doing well…”

    I knew the lie was going to destroy her, that all she thought she knew so well will be gone. Trust she had in me will be gone.

    I was looking forward to having a family with my beautiful partner, secretly hoping that when we have a baby, I will stop gambling. I was afraid that we may find ourselves stretched financially, paying for the high cost of IVF treatment with a somewhat limited probability of success, so I started gambling even more, to earn back all I had lost.

    Our IVF was getting closer and she was so exited. Hearing from the doctor that we have to be in a good place emotionally and have our relationship on solid ground before starting an IVF cycle, hit me badly. I wanted to kill myself. I was constantly telling to myself that I can’t I ruin my fiancé’s and unborn baby’s life like this, but at the same time, I was so afraid of her reaction and was sure that it will be end of our relationship. I didn’t want to loose her and all we had. The shame was unbearable. How should I tell her that I have a debt in 7 different banks, that I won’t be able to pay for any scheduled treatment nor anything for the baby next who-knows-how-many years? How should I even start the story? How do you open up and admit the addiction? When would be the best time to tell her?

    Finally, two days before the treatment, I managed tell her. It was on Monday, while she was still at work. The previous day we had a fight, because she was asking me how come the second month in a row I cannot pay my share of the rent, when I have a full-time job. I texted her apologizing for the fight. She still couldn’t understand why I don’t have money out of the sudden and asked me out of the blue if I was gambling. I used the opportunity and told her the truth partially. I admitted that my credit card was maxed out. She just texted me back that we will talk more when she gets back home. I wasn’t man enough to tell her about 50 thousand euros what I owed to different banks. 

    I still remember the look on her face when she arrived home. She was crying, telling me that she was holding back the tears the whole day at work. She was completely broken, and to my surprise, she wasn’t screaming. Instead, she was very supportive and warm. She was hugging me constantly, asking why I didn’t tell her earlier, cause she could maybe help me and we would go trough any shit together. We both were crying a lot that and following few days.

    The very same night she couldn’t sleep, and had woken me up, asking if my credit card was the only debt I had. I couldn’t lie to her anymore, and I told her everything. We spent the entire night talking about how my gambling addiction started and how I ended up taking loans. She remained extremely calm, even though her world collapsed. All her dreams were gone. Baby what we were wishing for such a long time was gone. A man who she thought she knew so well was gone.

    Telling her everything was the best decision I had ever made. No more lies, no more hiding. All the “cards” were opened. Even now when I’m writing this, I feel so sorry for lying to her all these years. I was too afraid and ashamed to reveal the truth, to see her disappointment. I’m such a coward!

    It was much easier to breathe, now that she knew. The pressure I felt and self-blaming were not as hard as before. Finally, the lie was off from my shoulders. Both of us were heart broken. I felt naked and as if I was starting my life anew.

    I can’t imagine the pain she was going through. She didn’t know any gambler and this addiction was something she knew nothing about. Therefore, she started doing the research to learn as much as possible, before making any decision about our future. She was sharing her findings, trying to educate myself too, She found all support groups and made me see a therapist.

    However, after a few days, she cancelled the IVF treatment and had asked to move out, so that she has more space to think. I was very thankful for her, for the love she gave me and all the support. At the same time, I am honestly very glad I didn’t ruin her life completely by having a baby with a gambler.

    Advice for fellow gamblers

    Speak up and admit you have the problem right now! Don’t wait until it’s too late! Go!

    Your family needs to know, cause they don’t deserve to live in a lie. They are planning their lives based on a lie and they didn’t deserve it. Let them know, so that they can plan their lives based on a truth.

    We can never know how someone will react and that is the scariest part. Maybe you will be surprised, as I was. Maybe your partner won’t be screaming, as mine didn’t, or maybe they will and that is ok too. It’s is because they are hurt greatly and you can stand it. Be there for your family and answer to all their questions. Help them understand what your addiction is.

    No more lies! Communicate with your dear partner and tell them all about what you’re going through. That is the only way that will take us far.

    We can do this! 

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  • Becoming a Gambler

    Becoming a Gambler

    Did you know that Tesla and Dostoyevsky were also gambling addicts? Tesla lost his tuition money, had a nervous breakdown and dropped out of school. Dostoyevsky’s “Gambler” is semi-autobiographical.*
    Learning that such great minds had the same problem as me was somewhat comforting, it made me stop questioning my intelligence and made me realize it is a disease that I need to fight.

    Occasional bets on English Premiere league started 2017, when I would visit Casino with my friends. In the beginning, I would never spend more than €20 per month. I didn’t see this as a problem, because it was really just for fun. Everything changed when I discovered online Casinos 2018. 

    As I mentioned in the previous post, I am a huge football fan and I am following results religiously. All the websites, that I visit to check the latest scores, have flashy banners advertising betting with free money that you can use for the first bet. Those websites are flooded with odds for the upcoming matches everywhere. I noticed those banners, but have never really paid attention, nor I considered betting, as I saw them as scams. However, one day at work, I’ve heard a few colleagues talking about online betting and how they won. Knowing that the colleagues I respected are betting online, probably gave me subconsciously a green light to try my luck too. I had nothing to lose, I was thinking, because I started with a free bet from the flashy banner. I don’t even remember if I won. I just remember how convenient it was. I didn’t have to dress up, go to Casino nor talk to others – I could play from my own sofa. 

    Without me noticing, after 3 months, my bets got bigger. I was putting about €200 for a single bet. I started becoming addicted to the adrenalin rush I was having whenever I would place a bet. What I was doing was wrong, I knew, but I couldn’t stop anymore.

    Without the doubt, the worst supporter of the growing addiction was my credit card with a possibility of €4600 overdraft. I often wonder if I would mess up my life this much if I didn’t have a credit card. Would I find another way to become a problem gambler? Did the credit card speed up inevitable or none of this would happen if I didn’t have it?

    Using credit card was too easy. It didn’t feel like it was real money. Before I knew it, my credit card was maxed out. As interest was so big, I thought it’s better to take a loan from another bank, because of the smaller interest. The panic I felt, because of the minus, was gone. I felt great and I decided to quit gambling. However, after a week, I was back to my old habits.

    As my addiction was growing, so did the bets. I remember, once I was in the toilet watching a football match (around six months into online betting). Since I was soo sure about the result, I bet €1300. I lost. The panic started kicking in and I had to get my money back. I made another bet for €1000 euros right away. My heart was pounding and I was sweating like crazy while waiting for the results. I lost again. Coming out of the toilet was heartbreaking. I lost €2300 in 20 minutes. I couldn’t believe what happened. I lost my monthly salary and my credit card was getting empty again. 

    No one knew about my gambling addiction. No one knew I was taking loans. My fiancé and I never joined bank accounts, so there was no way for her to find out. Deep inside I knew I had a problem, but I didn’t want to admit it to myself. I was so sure big winnings were around the corner, that I could beat the system and that the next time luck will be on my side.

    In the next post, you can read how my addiction grew together with my dept.  

    *Resoruces: “Nikola Tesla, My Inventions: The Autobiography of Nikola Tesla”
    https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/advances-in-psychiatric-treatment/article/from-the-gambler-within-dostoyevskys-the-gambler/D7ACB14B9EAD00EB8EF65512C28EADAA/core-reader