Winning back trust takes time, be patient, look for opportunities to win it back and if the love is still there, the trust will follow in time. You have to work a bit harder to make sure you follow through with everything you say, even if its just turning up at the time you said you would and don’t be surprised if they question you more frequently. Maybe share your finances a bit more and don’t have separate accounts or lines of credit.
Trust is the most fragile thing in a relationship, but it is also the foundation of any relationship. Relationships that are rooted in trust have the potential to keep going even when you’re separated from your loved ones. Lies and empty promises are termites to any relationship that made it empty from inside and damage the trust between family members or loved ones. It’s very hard to regain trust once it’s salvaged because of the sense of insecurity from that person will always be dominant on thoughts. It is only possible is both parties are committed to the relationship and want to be together again.
Addiction is one of the root causes that salvage trust in a relationship, and gambling is a form of addiction that not only destroys a relationship but also make you feel miserable. Recovering from this addiction is a war in itself but regaining the trust of your loved ones once you’re recovered is the real fight. Especially, if you’re a couple of gambling will push you so far apart from your partner that it becomes very difficult to regain that same level of affection even after your recovery.
How to Regain Trust in a Relationship After Gambling Addiction?
Addicts become so sensitive to feeling that they confuse love with hatred sometimes and left all the hope of recovery, but very few of them take stand for themselves and try to improve themselves for ones they care about. As I recovered addict, I can quote that,
Addicts always suffer from frustration and want to do things fast. Their biggest fear is they won’t get accepted twice and, in most cases, It is true.
So, as much as an addict need to give time and efforts to regain trust, his/her partner must do the same in order for the process to work out. First things first, what an addict must do is to,
- Find ways through which their loved ones can accept him/her. They need to be honest, promising, and modest for a considerable amount of time in order, to get accepted back in a relationship.
- After recovery, an addict’s inner urges will eventually try to unleash but beware of your trigger points and try your best to avoid the situations that will make you gamble again.
- Keep telling your partner that you’re an improved version of yourself and don’t need surveillance anymore, but if your partner feels like, he/she can keep an eye on you until they are satisfied.
- Once in a week, surprise your partner and make him/her realize that you’re not an addict anymore.
- Always be patient because it takes time to restore something that is broken and trust me when I say, Trust Is Very Hard To Come By.
What You Must Do To Regain Trust In Relationship?
You might have heard the phrase, “Trust Goes Both ways”. Yes! It’s very true. Although it’s a long-shot scenario, but if your partner is willing to give you a second chance, then it might work out if you follow some pretty basic tips to regain the trust. However, it also depends on your commitment to the task only 4/10 relationships are bounded back after the addiction, and this is only because they are fully committed on both ends. I might say,
If your partner is willing to give you a second chance and you want to spend your life with the same person, then this is it, this is the spark you need to start over.
Following are some tips that might come in handy but remember patience & commitment is the key to restore the balance and trust in a relationship. Give time and space to your partner to think over your situation and decide what’s best for their future.
1. Be a Man of Your Word
Honesty is the first step in the strong foundation of any relationship. Until you prove that you’re a man of your word, any effort to regain trust will fail. Due to the overwhelming situation of your loved ones, they will be desperate to give you a chance to prove yourself. Make them realize each day that you’re a better man now by living up to your words. Here I might add,
Your honesty alone will make them realize that you’re trying to improve so, be sure to make the only promises that you can live up to.
2. Communicate With Your Loved Ones
You don’t to be alone anymore. It’s a sign that you are withdrawing and need space, but in reality, you want to bound and communicate with others. You want to share your emotions and express your feelings. Try to re-establish communication with your partner and loved ones. It will ensure that you want to build trust and honesty in a relationship by sharing your feelings.
3. Create & Follow a Healthy Routine
Addiction wreaks havoc on your mind and body. It does matter whether the addiction is of drugs or gambling. It will make your body physically weak and mind mentally ill. So, after you’re recovery, everyone will be expecting to follow a healthy diet and routine form you. If you are truly committed to making the most of your second chance, then make sure to follow a healthy routine. This may include,
1. Early morning exercise
2. Regular sleep cycle
3. Attending therapy or group sessions regularly
4. Eating a healthy diet
5. Giving time to family & friends
This will not only make you physically fit but also helps in improving your mental capacity. Moreover, this may be the turning point in your relationship, and finally, your loved ones start trusting you once again.
4. Have Patience
Perhaps the most irritating and struggling phase in rebuilding the trust in a relationship. This is where most of the couples lost their motion of going on because it is only so long you can wait for someone. But if your patient enough to bear all the misfortunes of your love ones, then it may be a blessing in disguise for him/her. Slowly, the recovering addict will feel your efforts and give in his/her bad habits.
The reality is that it’s going to be a long process to earn [your loved ones’] trust back…you’re not going to be able to earn everybody’s trust in one day. You need to earn your own trust first and work from there.
Reference: Niko McManus, Mental Health Counseling Intern
Get Professional Help In The Matter
If you’re willing to follow above-mentioned point than you can work on building a happier, honest and healthier relationship. But then again you will have to stay committed with each other and give each other enough time to form new boundaries of trust.
Getting professional help in the matter would probably the kick start you might need in the beginning but remember,
When you seek guidance from a therapist or counsellor, don’t withhold any information that can cause hurdle in building the foundation of a strong relationship.
Besides talking to a therapist, you can share your story with me on my website, and I would love to help you out in the process. I was also a gambling addict and on my website https://gambling-addictions.com/. I share of struggling addicts and persons who had successfully improved their lives after recovery. Share your experience and tell people what is the core reason that causes hurdle to regain trust even after the gambling addiction recovery. Maybe you can help out someone like us recovering addicts cope with the situation.