When gambling affects more than one person
Gambling addiction rarely affects only the person who gambles.
Behind the gambling there are often partners, children, parents and friends who are trying to understand what is happening while watching someone they love change in front of them.
That is why we wanted to speak with Justyn Larcombe — a man who has experienced gambling addiction personally and who has dedicated much of his life to helping others understand gambling harm and recovery.
Justyn has spoken openly about his own journey, including the damage gambling caused and the long road towards recovery. His story has helped many people recognize that addiction can happen to ordinary people — and that recovery is possible.
What would you say to someone who is hiding their gambling from their partner?
Justyn:
It is much better to tell your partner than to let them discover it themselves.
But it is important to think about when you tell them. If possible, take some first steps towards recovery so that you can bring some positive news with you.
It might be saying:
“This is what has happened, but I have now self-excluded.”
Or:
“I have stopped gambling and I have started getting help.”
Trust is incredibly precious. If you are honest, there is a possibility of protecting it. When your partner discovers the truth for themselves, rebuilding that trust can become much harder.
There are no easy answers in life. Someone once told me that if you have lied to your partner for a year, you should expect them to struggle to believe you for a similar amount of time after you stop lying.
That can be very painful.
Even when you are finally telling the truth, your partner may still question you. You may wonder why they don’t believe you when you are being honest.
But you have to understand where that comes from.
The shame surrounding gambling can make people hide what is happening. Talking to other people who have been through something similar can make an enormous difference.
You don’t have to face it alone.
What about the partner?
One of the things that became clear to us while learning about gambling addiction was how little support partners and families can sometimes receive.
The person gambling may finally reach out for help, but what about the person sitting beside them?
The person who has been lied to.
The person worrying about money.
The person wondering what is real and what isn’t.
The person trying to protect the children.
The person asking themselves whether they should stay or leave.
These people need support too.
Justyn’s message to families
Justyn has also spoken about the importance of supporting people affected by someone else’s gambling.
Justyn:
There needs to be much more support for families.
The focus is often on the person with the addiction, but gambling can have a huge impact on everyone around them — particularly because of the financial damage and debt that can result.
Family support can make a real difference.
Recovery does not happen overnight
Recovery isn’t simply about saying, “I’m never going to gamble again.”
It is about honesty.
It is about accepting what has happened.
It is about taking practical steps to stop gambling.
It is about asking for help.
And it is about understanding that rebuilding relationships and trust can take time.
Justyn’s story is important because it shows that even when gambling has caused enormous damage, a person can begin rebuilding their life.
If you are hiding your gambling
Maybe you are reading this late at night.
Maybe your partner is asleep beside you.
Maybe you have deleted messages, hidden transactions or told another lie about where the money went.
Maybe you keep telling yourself that the next win will fix everything.
It won’t.
The first step doesn’t have to be perfect.
It can simply be telling the truth.
Tell someone.
Ask for help.
Put a barrier between yourself and gambling.
And don’t wait until everything has been destroyed before you ask for help.
If you love someone who gambles
And if you are the partner, parent, friend or family member of someone struggling with gambling, remember something important:
This is not your fault.
You did not cause their addiction.
You cannot control their gambling.
And you do not have to carry the whole situation alone.
You deserve support too.
A message of hope
Justyn’s story is not a story about a perfect recovery.
It is a story about what can happen when someone stops hiding.
It is about facing painful truths, accepting responsibility and taking the next step.
And perhaps most importantly, it is a reminder that the person suffering from gambling addiction is not the only person who needs to be heard.
The families need a voice too.
We are grateful to Justyn Larcombe for sharing his experience and for giving permission for his story to be used as part of our work to raise awareness about gambling addiction and its impact on families.
Gambling Addictions 