True luck consists not in holding the best of the cards at the table; luckiest is he who knows when to rise and go home.
Reference: John Milton Hay
Indeed, a wise man always knows when to quit. Gambling addiction is well known as The Silent Killer; it pushes you towards the edge and then sits aside to watch you die as life slips away from your finger. Saying this from my personal experience that gambling leaves a mark on your life. Sometimes, it’s in the shape of a never-ending series of debts, and sometimes, it costs you the ones you loved the most.
It’s not like gamblers are unaware of the problems; they are very much aware of the impacts- debts, loos of control, daily quarrels, and helplessness. But the thing is the craving will not let you rest until you’re not up for another round at poker table. Gambling feeds on your wealth, family, emotions, relations, last but not least, your health.
It goes both ways; gambling affects your relationship, and sometimes, peoples who are fed up with the relations seek refuge in gambling. This habit isolates him further, and each time he looks around, the herd becomes thinner. It provokes a gambler to find an escape from this disastrous life through gambling, while, in reality, it destroys his very essence piece by piece.
I lost someone too! And sharing this here will not heal my wounds, but it will mend my grief. Gambling addiction does affect your relationship and can have devastating effects. First, it rakes the trust between relations, and then never-ending lies choke it away completely. The lies, secrets, and gambling itself are the factors that ruin families.
Hi! Myself Uri and I am an ex-gambler. Losing someone can be harsh, and if this someone is the love of your life, the pain is devastating. Today, I will share with you how your partner will react when he/she finds out about your addiction.
1. Your Relationship Will Change
Embrace yourself because this is reality. Once your partner finds out about your gambling addiction, his/her impression of you will change. It may be positive or negative. In most cases, as soon as the partner knows this fact, he/she will decide to leave to whether immediately or in one’s own good time.
Gambling is a curse; it drives a wedge in your bonding and then turns it into bits. These bits block the view of your love for your partner. He/she feel like you’re ruining their lives by being unfaithful. It takes huge courage and honesty to drive a relationship. But the broken promises and lies made your partner lose faith in you.
So, it’s true when I say; the truth will change your relationship with your partner for good.
2. Feel The Change In Behaviour
An addict behaves out of order, and in most cases, this is the only reason they get caught. When your partner knows this fact, they feel betrayed. This is where all the hard-earned money was going! Their minds suddenly filled with negative thoughts. They lost complete trust in you, and then comes the change in behaviour. Your partner starts hiding things from you.
The loving thought of shared dreams, love, mutual respect, and promises that define the very deep emotions of your partner’s commitments were perceived to be betrayed. Your gambling behaviour fades all the good that you have done, and only the stamp of gambler remains by which you’re judged. Once your partner finds put about gambling addiction, you will see that:
- Your partner starts ignoring you
- He/she will not share the bed with you anymore
- Your partner will not tell you his personal affairs anymore
- Suddenly starts cutting you out from his/her life
- The love in your partner’s eyes will fade away
- You will lose respect and faith
In gambling, you will win big, but the thing you will lose is not just money. It will always be more than you can ever imagine.
3. Things Will Go Sideways
Yes! Things will definitely go sideways. Your world will fall apart slowly as sand grains slip from hand. You will feel like fish trapped in a jar. Speaking from personal experience- You can’t run from it, you can hide from the consequences, and certainly, you can’t beat the odds. Not until you make a mind and do something about it. But what happens when things go sideways? At first, you will observe the behavioural changes of your partner, and the never-ending fights will begin. You and your partner will fight and argue over trivial things.
Your partner will hate your presence, and even after things settle down, they will always remain vigilant about your daily routine. Your partner will meddle into your affairs, and this will start irritating you. But we can’t blame them for this, can we?
If I talk about myself, it took me years to understand that it was never about winning or losing. It’s the blow we like. We just love to blow away every cent, and with it every relationship we hold dear. In the end, what remains is a long list of loans to prolong the guilt, shame, and anger.
“As long as the gambling continues, your mind will always stray in darkness, and you will keep chasing your lost memories in the dark mist of the past. The money and relations you have lost are gone forever”
How does It end?
It’s the most painful part. It is also very hard for your partner to leave you. When your partner finds out about your gambling addiction, it comes as a surprise. At first, they take their time to digest the shock and understand the situations. In most of the cases, they feel pity and sticks with you until they can. I have seen many couples struggling over this issue.
The bad days- days you don’t want to talk about will come, days that will make you lose sleep in the night will follow you. With all this burning inside, your partner will slowly make his/her way out of your life.
They don’t want to lose their love for gambling, so; they struggle to maintain their relationship. But in very few cases, they dare to make it to the end. Feeling nauseous, confused, and disoriented, their only option will be to let you deal with it and run away.
Trust me! They will run away as there is only much one can bear.
I read somewhere- The scariest thing in the world is to be left alone. When one loses all the hope, faith, money, and even feel the end is near, the support and love of others kept him going. But when you lose respect, support, and relations, this destroys you, and an addict does that to himself. It takes a lot of soul searching and time to make relations and memories, but all it takes one wrong decision to fade it all.
How I Lost My Partner To Gambling?
Let me share with you guys- The Story Of My Life! HOW I LOST MY LOVE, and my partner to this addiction. She was everything to me, the most important person of my life. Our life was perfect, we had moved in together about 3 years ago and enjoying life to it’s full. We were the perfect fit for each other, like the missing pieces of a puzzle. I knew her mood swings, habits, likes, and dislikes and was always there for her.
We got engaged, and everything was going as we had planned. We were saving money for our better future and were looking to have a dream life together full of joys and love. Last year, we travelled in the summer and decided to have a baby to complete our family. We booked for an IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) treatment and started choosing cute names for our future family members.
In between these pleasant times, we had brought a dog in our new apartment that we had rented about nine months ago. In the evening, when I come home from a tiresome work routine, I used to play with our dog, and then we spend the night discussing our day. But I don’t know she got the air of my gambling habit that changed everything. At first, she became angry for not telling her, and afterward, the arguments and long fights become a permanent thing.
She supported me initially, but as time passed, she didn’t want to stay with me anymore. Just like that- My life was torn apart, I promised to quit, but she didn’t believe me. Trust was gone and she didn’t believe me anymore. After serious fights and never-ending arguments, she asked me to move out of the apartment.
I don’t blame her for that, as it was me who was to blame. I did that to myself. I lost her because of my foolishness. After that day, I promised myself that I would quit gambling, start working hard to have a new life, and never make that mistake again that cost me everything. At my blog gambling-addictions.com, I share my experience as a gambling addict and want the people to know that if they won’t quit this habit in time, they will lose their partner as I did.