Gambling Addictions

Tag: Gambling addiction signs

  • Gambling Recovery: The Illusion of Fraudulent Redemption

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    In the depths of despair, many seek solace in the promise of gambling recovery programs, hoping to escape the clutches of addiction. These programs offer supposed redemption, nurturing a glimmer of hope in the hearts of the desperate. However, beneath their façade of salvation, a sinister truth hides. The gambling recovery industry exudes an aura of fraudulence, manipulating vulnerable individuals and perpetuating a cycle of dependency.

    This blog post aims to shed light on the deceptive nature of this industry, delving into different aspects and presenting a conservative perspective on its manipulative tactics.

    Illusionary Rehabilitation:

    Gambling recovery establishments often present themselves as beacons of hope, promising a way out of addiction. However, their underlying motive is the generation of revenue rather than the holistic healing of individuals. These programs employ a mix of misleading marketing strategies, capitalizing on the desperation of those seeking help, while providing inadequate treatment. They create an illusion of a thorough recovery process but rarely deliver substantial results, leading to a cycle of repeated relapses.

    Manipulation and Exploitation: Behind the façade of a compassionate approach to healing, the gambling recovery industry preys on vulnerable individuals, making empty promises while exploiting their trust. Rehab centers offer exorbitantly priced packages that often leave individuals financially crippled, exacerbating their vulnerability. These centers capitalize on the desperation of gamblers and their families, pushing them to invest their life savings in the hopes of a miraculous recovery. In reality, the focus primarily lies in enriching the recovery center rather than providing effective solutions.

    Lack of Regulation and Accountability:

    One of the significant issues surrounding gambling recovery programs is the absence of stringent regulations. This lack of oversight allows unethical practices to thrive while simultaneously inhibiting the identification and elimination of fraudulent institutions. Without proper regulation, the industry becomes a fertile ground for exploitation, with no repercussions for those who take advantage of the vulnerable. Consequently, individuals seeking genuine assistance are left at the mercy of unscrupulous operators, exacerbating their struggles.

    Inadequate Counseling and Therapeutic Approaches:

    While the gambling recovery industry may claim to offer comprehensive counseling and therapeutic approaches, in reality, the quality of such services remains subpart. Many centers employ under qualified staff members with minimal expertise in gambling addiction treatment. The absence of professionally trained therapists compromises the recovery process, hindering individuals from attaining true rehabilitation. Counseling sessions lack depth, often failing to address the underlying psychological issues that contribute to addiction.

    Eternal Dependence on Gambling Recovery Programs:

    By fostering a culture of dependency, gambling recovery institutions ensure a never-ending clientele, perpetuating the need for their services. They discourage self-recovery, advocating for long-term commitments to their programs as the only path to redemption. Consequently, individuals find themselves trapped within a system wherein their addiction is perpetuated rather than truly resolved. These institutions profit from the continued financial support of their clients, extending the duration of recovery programs unnecessarily.

    Despite the enticing promises of gambling recovery programs, they often serve as mere smoke screens for fraudulent intentions. Preying on the vulnerable and desperate, these establishments exploit the desperation of their clients and exhibit a severe lack of ethical accountability. By exposing the truth behind the illusory redemption offered by gambling recovery programs, society can make an informed choice, advocating for stricter regulations and pushing towards genuine solutions to combat this compelling issue. Only by shedding light on the manipulative tactics and fostering a conservative creative approach can we pave the way for true recovery, free from the clutches of deceitful practices.

    To help me on my journey, I sought support from my family and friends. They had seen me at my lowest point and were desperate to see me break free from the clutches of this addiction. With their encouragement, I enrolled in therapy sessions specifically tailored to help individuals overcome gambling addiction. In therapy, I discovered the root causes behind my addiction. It wasn’t just about the adrenaline rush or the allure of quick money; it was also about the escape it provided from the stresses of everyday life. Gambling became my coping mechanism, my way of numbing the pain and avoiding reality. But now, armed with this understanding, I was determined to find healthier ways to deal with my emotions.I started to fill my free time with new hobbies and activities that brought joy and fulfillment into my life. I took up painting, allowing my creative side to flourish. I joined a local theater group, giving me an outlet to express myself and connect with others. These newfound passions provided a sense of purpose and a healthy distraction from the allure of the casino.As the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months, I started to notice a profound change within myself. I was no longer consumed by the urge to gamble. Instead, I found solace in the simple pleasures of life — a walk in the park, a good book, quality time spent with loved ones. It was in these moments that I realized all the opportunities I had missed out on while chasing the elusive high of a winning bet.

    Today, I stand strong and resolute in my decision to quit gambling. It has not been an easy journey, but it has been a necessary one. I have learned the importance of self-reflection, self-control, and the power of seeking support from others.

    My past addiction will always be a part of my story, but it will no longer define me. In conclusion, quitting gambling has opened my eyes to a world of possibilities. I am no longer shackled by the burden of my addiction, and instead, I am free to explore all that life has to offer.

    I encourage anyone struggling with gambling addiction to seek help, for it is only through self-awareness and determination that we can break free from its grip. Today marks the day where I take back control of my life, and I am excited for the bright future that lies ahead. Don’t trust everything you read about gambling recovery side’s. Trust your partner and your family. They are there because they love you always.

  • The Cautionary Tale: Gambling’s Grip on the Human Psyche

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    In a world where high-stake casinos and online gambling platforms beckon individuals with promises of instant wealth, it is no surprise that the allure of gambling has captivated the hearts and minds of many. However, beneath the flashing lights and whimsical charm lies a dark underbelly that reveals the true nature of this activity.

    Recent studies suggest that as many as 1 in 4 people believe they know someone who has experienced problems with gambling. This alarming statistic serves as a stark reminder of the dangers that can accompany the thrill of gambling. Through a conservative lens, we delve into the various aspects surrounding this issue, exploring the potential consequences of allowing gambling to consume one’s life.

    Gambling holds a unique sway over the human psyche. It tantalizes with the illusion of winning big and experiencing a life of luxury, captivating all who dare to partake. The proliferation of online gambling platforms and easily accessible casinos only exacerbates this temptation. Individuals find themselves drawn into the bright lights, infectious sounds of slot machines, and the sweet whispers of chance. The initial excitement turns into obsession as the desire for quick fortunes consumes their thoughts, leading to devastating consequences.

    Behind the glamour of high-stake winnings lies a much darker reality, as one in four individuals bear witness to the havoc wreaked by gambling addiction. Families torn apart, financial ruin, and psychological turmoil are just a few of the demons that haunt those who succumb to the allure. Partners are betrayed, children suffer the consequences, and once-strong relationships crumble under the weight of lies and deceit. The untold stories go beyond the mere statistic, silently replaying the horrors of an addiction that holds individuals firmly in its grip.

    Gambling often serves as an escape from the harsh realities of life. Within the casino walls, problems seem to evaporate, replaced by the momentary thrill of winning or the adrenaline rush of near misses. It provides individuals with an illusion of control, a fleeting sense of power over their own destiny. This form of escapism becomes addictive, gradually stripping away one’s ability to confront and solve life’s challenges. Solitude and introspection give way to a perpetual cycle of reckless gambling.

    What begins as a pleasurable pastime can rapidly spiral into desperation. As financial resources deplete, gambling addicts are forced to employ drastic measures to fuel their habit. Credit cards are maxed out, loans are taken, and even criminal activities may be pursued to satisfy the insatiable thirst for more. Once they enter this downward spiral, getting out becomes increasingly difficult. The very act of chasing losses perpetuates the cycle, leaving individuals trapped in a living nightmare.

    Though the tendrils of gambling addiction run deep, there is hope for those caught within its grasp. Support networks, counseling, and treatment centers offer a lifeline, providing a platform for individuals to rebuild their lives. Stepping away from the enigmatic allure of gambling requires strength, perseverance, and a commitment to self-improvement. Only by acknowledging the problem and seeking help can individuals hope to regain control over their lives and free themselves from the clutches of addiction.

    The statistic revealing that 1 in 4 people believe they know someone who has experienced issues with gambling paints a harrowing picture of the pervasive grasp this activity has on society. Despite the conservative approach, it is crucial to acknowledge the creativity and resilience individuals can employ to rise above the dangers of gambling addiction. By shedding light on the various aspects of this issue, we can generate awareness and propel dialogue, fostering a society that values the well-being of individuals over the allure of instant wealth.

    It is now time for you to step out into who God wants you to be and I am on this journey to guide you on your road to recovery. God has a great purpose for your life and now is the time to discover those buried talents that He has blessed you with.  

    Win or lose in gambling but a life anchored in Christ is a definite win.

    Gambling ruined 4 years of my life.  However my recovery has been slow and I am still learning more about my real true self every day. For this purpose, I have developed a platform, https://gambling-addictions.com/, where you can find sincere advice from ex-addicts and also share your story to reach out for help. 

  • A Dance with Lady Luck: My Journey through the World of Gambling

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    Gambling, an intricate and captivating world that has fascinated mankind for centuries. I, myself, am not a specialist on the subject, but my experiences have granted me a unique perspective.

    This blog post will delve into my personal journey into the realm of gambling, exploring its various aspects and the conservative creativity it kindles within us.

    My journey through the world of gambling offered an unexpected glimpse into the human psyche. It allowed me to witness the seductive allure and the devastating consequences that accompany this societal fascination. While I may not be a specialist on the topic, my experiences afforded me a deeper understanding of gambling’s different aspects and the conservative creativity it ignites within us all – a dance with Lady Luck that leaves an indelible mark on our lives.

    My life became a constant cycle of chasing losses and trying to conceal the true extent of my addiction from those around me. I lived in a perpetual state of denial, convincing myself that I still had control over my actions and that everything would eventually fall into place. But the mirage of control that I clung to so desperately was just that – a mirage. The truth was, I was engulfed in the destructive grip of gambling, and it seemed as though there was no way out.But in the darkest of moments, a glimmer of hope emerged. It was through the unwavering support of my wife that I found the strength to confront my addiction head-on. She stood by me, reminding me of the person I once was and believed I could become again. With her guidance, I sought professional help, attending therapy sessions and joining support groups where I connected with others who had experienced the same struggles.

    Recovering from a gambling addiction is not an easy path, but with each passing day, I regain a sense of control over my life. I am slowly rebuilding the ruins of my past mistakes, working hard to repair the relationships that were shattered. I have come to realize that it is through acceptance and taking responsibility for my actions that true healing can occur.

    My life may have been ruined because of gambling, but today, I stand as a testament to the power of resilience and the unwavering support of loved ones. I have learned the importance of self-reflection, of recognizing and addressing the root causes of my addiction. It is through this understanding that I can now embrace a new chapter, one that is free from the clutch.

    Gambling ruined 4 years of my life.  However my recovery has been slow and I am still learning more about my real true self every day. For this purpose, I have developed a platform, https://gambling-addictions.com/, where you can find sincere advice from ex-addicts and also share your story to reach out for help. 

  • Taking Control: Five Strategies to Repay Gambling Debt

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    Gambling, often seen as a form of entertainment, can easily spiral out of control, leaving individuals burdened with mounting debts. As the consequences of unchecked gambling behavior begin to settle in, the need to pay off those debts becomes a pressing concern. This article delves into five effective strategies that can help individuals regain control of their financial situation and repay their gambling debts, while promoting responsible financial habits.

    1. Create a Budget and Stick to It:

    The first step towards paying off gambling debts is to establish a comprehensive budget that includes all necessary expenses. This budget must prioritize debt repayment by allocating a significant portion of income towards this purpose. For instance, one can adopt the popular “50/30/20″budgeting rule, which designates 50% of income for essential expenses, 30% for discretionary expenses, and 20% for repayment of debts, including gambling debts. However, to achieve success, discipline and adherence to the budget are essential. Develop a clear understanding of fixed expenses, adjust discretionary spending to a minimum, and resist the temptation to indulge in impulsive purchases.

    2. Seek Professional Debt Counseling:

    Navigating the complexities of gambling debts may require professional assistance. Engaging the services of a certified debt counselor can provide valuable guidance in formulating a structured debt repayment plan. These experts specialize in assessing personal financial situations, providing customized advice, and negotiating with creditors to reduce interest rates or establish more manageable payment plans. Debt counselors can also help individuals develop healthier financial habits, reinforcing the importance of staying debt-free.

    3. Consider Debt Consolidation:

    Consolidating multiple gambling debts into one single loan can help simplify the repayment process, reduce overall interest rates, and lower monthly payments. Debt consolidation entails securing a loan typically offered by financial institutions, using it to settle existing gambling debts, and then repaying the new consolidated loan over an extended period. This approach allows individuals to primarily focus on repaying one loan, reducing the burden of tracking multiple debtors and varying interest rates. However, it is crucial to conduct thorough research to identify reputable lenders and carefully review the terms and conditions before committing to consolidation.

    4. Increase Income Streams:

    Augmenting existing income sources by exploring additional avenues is an effective method to expedite gambling debt repayment. Individuals burdened by substantial debts can consider taking up a part-time job alongside their full-time employment, engaging in freelance work, or even monetizing certain skills through online platforms. The additional income can be exclusively allotted towards paying off the gambling debts, accelerating the repayment process. Furthermore, this approach not only helps individuals settle their debts faster but also instills valuable work ethic and financial discipline.

    5. Embrace Lifestyle Changes:

    Overcoming gambling debts necessitates adopting lifestyle changes that promote financial stability and responsible behavior. This involves avoiding triggers that may lead to further gambling or excessive spending, such as visiting casinos or high-risk environments. Instead, individuals should engage in alternative activities that fulfill their interests and provide productive outlets for energy. Joining local support groups or seeking therapy can also aid in addressing the underlying issues that contribute to gambling addiction, fostering better mental and emotional well-being. Finally, maintaining open communication with family and loved ones can prove beneficial by fostering a supportive network and garnering their assistance in staying on track with debt repayment goals.

    Conclusion:

    Regaining financial control and repaying gambling debts require discipline, responsibility, and a proactive approach. By creating a budget, seeking professional debt counseling, consolidating debts, increasing income streams, and embracing lifestyle changes, individuals can successfully emerge from the clutches of gambling debts. However, it is essential to remember that these strategies are not a quick fix and require dedication, patience, and the cultivation of healthy financial habits. By implementing these measures, one can not only overcome gambling debts but also pave the way towards a more stable and secure financial future.

  • Problem Gambling, Youth and the Internet

    Problem Gambling, Youth and the Internet

    Gambling has become popular recreational activity and constantly growing at an unprecedented rate over the last few years. Everybody has their reasons to gamble. Most people gamble to win money, to socialize, for excitement, or to pass time. 

    There are many different ways to gamble which include lottery tickets, casino games, betting on horse racing, sports betting, slot machines, internet gambling, bingo, and many others.

    For some people, gambling has serious effects and creates problems in their lives. Now, as there are more options available to access gambling, the number of people affected by gambling problems is also increasing.

    Gambling addiction is a progressive addiction that can have many harmful psychological, physical, and social consequences. The negative effects of gambling are not just about losing money, it can seriously affect relationships, physical and mental health, financial situation, self-esteem, work performance, and social life as well. 

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    What Is Problem Gambling?

    Problem gambling is about behavior that is creating troubles in your life or the life of people closely associated with you like parents, siblings, and friends. If your gambling addiction is causing you to miss your school or work, making you worried about the money you have lost or you are having arguments with your family or friends, in such situations gambling is a problem for you.

    The Effect of Gambling on Youth

    Widespread gambling opportunities and their amplified promotion have preoccupied numerous young players around the world. The impelling cause behind these inclinations is online technology and almost universal access to the internet. It has made gambling more welcoming and offers an on-demand and virtual experience.

    Gambling and gambling-like activities or experiences are so widespread that young people consider them part of everyday life. With the acceptance and spread of gambling in society, gambling advertisements have become gradually prominent. Gambling ads send the message that gambling is fun, exciting, and a quick and easy way to get rich. Particularly youth seems to be more vulnerable to the effects of advertising. 

    Teenagers think of gambling as a social activity as online gambling activities use chat and messaging features to encourage playing with friends. It is designed in a way to attract more players as they win a lot in practice mode. Players might believe that this winning streak will keep going even when they play with real money. 

    Spotting Teenage Gambling Problems

    It is not easy to tell when children have gambling problems but if you are concerned that your teen is gambling, be alert for:

    Money Problems

    Unexpected changes about the money your child has, or your child often short of money, or your child borrowing or taking money from friends or family.

    Physical Changes

    changes in sleep patterns, being tired or run down, low energy levels, mood changes, eating less, problems focusing on or remembering things.

    School Problems

    Not showing interest in school activities, falling grades, and attendance or behavioral issues at school.

    Problems in Relationships

    Not participating in social activities, events, and problems in relationships with family and friends.

    Emotional & Behavioral Issues

    If children have often mood swings, depression, anxiety, short-tempered, easily annoyed, simply stressed, started consuming alcohol or using drugs. 

    Positive Attitude Towards Gambling

    Shows interest in internet gambling sites, obsessed with video arcades, eager to know about sports results or TV poker.

    If someone near you or in your family is showing such behavior, it is important not to ignore such symptoms. Learn more how to protect your loved one from gambling problems. 

    Online Gambling Risks

    As mentioned above, a gambler has easy access to an online gambling site and he can play gambling at any time. It is tough for others to notice that the person is gambling online regularly while on the other hand, it is easy to get noticed if someone is frequently visiting the casino.

    Due to easy access to online gambling sites, it is more addictive than traditional gambling. A habitual gambler has more chances to cut back on gambling by avoiding the casino. However, it is more difficult for the online gambler to avoid as he has easy access to online gambling sites.

    It is always easy to gamble without getting noticed as the internet is also used for other tasks at work, communication with friends and family, or using social media. In today’s world, it’s really difficult to avoid a smartphone or computer. So it is really difficult for a person to avoid online gambling as compared to traditional casinos.

    Nowadays it is easy to access bank accounts online and transfer payments to any account. Users can easily transfer from their bank account to an online gambling site.

    Another risk associated with online gambling is that in many countries gambling is not allowed by law while the countries which allow it are not even well-regulated. It is difficult to know about the actual owner of the gambling business and there are many cases where the gambler is cheated out of money either in betting or in winning. 

    Preventing Teenage Gambling Problems

    Gambling casinos have their traditional style but digital gambling has significantly changed the overall scenario of gambling. It is now available in multiple forms, often hidden from the public and not always considered as gambling.

    It is important to educate young people about the risks of gambling and protect the vulnerable from gambling-related harms. To discourage the young generation from online gambling, it is crucial to use a multi-level approach to educate them and to create awareness about the problems related to gambling.

    At schools, seminars should be conducted to create awareness and to educate them about the risks and harm of online gambling. Children should be taught about the danger of losing and building up significant debts because of childhood gambling problems. This is one of the most important steps to educate them and stop participating in such online activities. 

    Schools should arrange beneficial plays for students to learn morals; the plays may be related to the harm and effects of gambling to discourage this habit of youth.

    Explain How Gambling Works

    Children in school are generally ready to learn about gambling. It will be helpful if we explain them the odds of winning in a way that your child can easily understand. You can explain them that these online gambling companies are operated in a way that they always make more money than they payout to you. There are always more chances of losing as compared to winning. 

    Encourage Extracurricular Activities

    To overcome educational, social, or mental health problems, youngsters might be able to head off unhealthy activities like gambling. For some having a tough time at home or school, gambling can be a fun but unhelpful way to cope with stress or other similar problems.

    It is important to engage them at school with other extracurricular activities and encourage them to take participate to reduce stress. Arts, music and sports are good examples to keep them busy and help them to feel good and have fun.

    Positive Family Attitude

    Parents are the key persons to influence the kids. A family’s attitude towards gambling can affect the child’s behavior and is one of the major reasons for his inclination towards gambling. The less your child is exposed to gambling, the less likely he is to develop a problem.  

    If a person in the family gambles regularly, children might see gambling as normal behavior and most kids like to copy their elders or what they see their parents are doing. Parents who gamble regularly like playing poker machines, betting on sports or races send messages to their children about gambling being a normal way to have fun or make money.

    Always try to avoid such activities in their presence and educate them about the negative impacts of gambling. Always encourage family bonding and spend healthy time with your kids to keep them engage with positive energy.

    Track Credit Cards Payments

    Keep track of the use of credit cards for online activities. Always ask and discuss if you find any shaky transactions on the credit cards. It can help your child understand and accept family rules. If you find such credit card activity, set limits on credit cards to reduce the usage of credit cards in games or gambling.

    Discuss and Introduce Internet Usage Rules 

    You could talk with your child about video games with gambling themes and content and why you’d prefer he didn’t play them. Discuss them with logic and help them to get out of this. Introduce some internet usage rules in the house, it will also help to limit his access to online gambling activities.

    Anyone who is directly involved with young people can build awareness and support a healthier lifestyle by addressing gambling-related harms. Similarly, education and prevention initiatives that help in decision-making and critical thinking skills can play a key role in developing the ability to make informed choices about gambling.

    Gambling ruined my life, and I was not the only one to suffer. There are hundreds of such people out there who have gone through the same trouble. My mission is to help them share their story so that they may get help in time. 

    Visit my website, https://gambling-addictions.com/ and share your story of recovery and be the motivation for thousands who fell prey to this addiction.

  • WHY I CAN’T STOP LYING

    WHY I CAN’T STOP LYING

    “I am not upset that you lied to me; I am upset that from now on I can never believe you”-

    Friedrich Nietzsche

    After being more than 2 years free from gambling activities, I noticed that I still have a huge problem with lying to my partner. It became a habit and somehow I can’t stop lying to my partner. Someone once said to me that for as long as you lied to your partner, expect them not to believe you for the same time after you stop lying. It will hurt when they question you when you are telling the truth, you will be surprised because you never even thought to lie.

    This advice helped me to think that did I achieve anything worthwhile by lying or cheating. I started thinking that what I am hiding from her? Why I am so insecure? Why my self-respect is at rock bottom? Why I am addicted to lying? Sooner I realized that lying is like a slippery dangerous slope with nothing good at the bottom but misery and empty life.

    We all lie in different situations in our lives. We all have our reasons for lying, it may be to escape punishment in our childhood. When we grow up, we lie to get attention or sympathies and some even create stories to set friends against each other or get others in trouble. It is an expression of being afraid, what others will think, afraid of facing the reality. We want to show people that we are better than others and reflect the weakness of our character. This could be the result of low self-esteem, fear of rejection, desire to please, or any other nuanced reasons. A liar justifies or makes stories to cover up something he has done wrong. To cover the first lie, another lie is required and this leads to an endless chain of lies. I had no idea about my case, why I was manipulating different situations to lie with my partner. Sooner I realized that I am a habitual liar, I tried to discover the root of my behavior, why I am doing and what I am avoiding. I thought that if I want to spend the rest of my life with my partner, I must avoid this habit of lying to restore the level of trust in our relationship. 

    If you are constantly lying to your dear ones and you are not able to do anything about it, then you don’t want to change. You cannot change what has developed in you for years. If someone matters to you in your life then you have to be truthful or else you will end up losing not only that person but your importance, your respect and the likeness you were trying to create will go away in a moment and will never come back. All the lies which are still covered can come crashing down on your head at any time. You will live in constant fear of the truth being discovered and expose you which creates a bad effect on your nerves. Stop living in dream world with a fake identity. Get out of your unreal world and start living in present rather than the past or future.

    A person who often tells fibs will never have trustworthy friends and will not be loved by anyone. Life is not only judged by a rich lifestyle, fluent language ability, or branded clothes. It is measured by the number of faces who simile when they hear your name. Analyze your life and try to find how it has impacted your life and others around you. Somewhere or somehow it has broken a lot of innocent hearts or brought tears to the eyes of your loved ones. Do you think you feel happy about it?

    How To Stop Lying?

    Start thinking, why you want to quit lying, think about the bad things associated with being a liar. I am not an expert by any means but you must ask yourself why you are lying? Why are you not comfortable with the truth? Learn to appreciate things you have in life and be satisfied with your family, friends, and your surroundings. But what makes sense to me is that instead of trying “not to lie anymore” which is difficult to achieve in one day, try to focus on making little but sturdy progress. Think to yourself why you’re lying? Why are you not comfortable with the truth? Is it because you are not confident? Or on the other hand you fear reality?

    You can’t change the past, the past is immutable. But as long as you understand that the time of yore was something that you’ve learned, and then it won’t haunt you as much.

    Few imperative things to consider while struggling to come out of this habit:

    • Never give up! People have thrived in breaking the nastiest & most addictive habits, you can do the same!
    • Change is going on in little- often not noticeable steps. Don’t be disheartened if you don’t observe changes immediately, YOU ARE CHANGING!
    • There will be setbacks. There is no way to accomplish a goal without failing on the way. Remember: failing doesn’t mean to stop struggling and starting all over again; you rewired your brain by fighting your habit & it will become easier & easier until it will go away!

    Like other habits, you don’t want to fix the awful habit, you want to reinstate with a good habit. That good habit is the truth. Truth is freedom, truth is real, not fake. Don’t let the old practice of lies keep telling you the big lie – that lying is OK and won’t harm you. Every lie is like a bullet hit in the heart of your honor. It’s one more rope around your neck that can choke you and pull you down a road of despair. Embrace truth with all its consequences, and never look back.

    People are faulty, people misspeak, and people need to correct themselves all the time. There is a higher probability that your family and friends will much more easily forgive and forget a lie that is corrected seconds after it’s spoken than one that is left to stand. 

     If someone asks you a question and you don’t want to tell them the truth, just refuse to answer. This may not be the best solution in all situations, especially if the person who is asking the question is depending on the answer, but it works for many. If someone asks about something personal or just needs a detailed answer it’s fine to say, “I’d rather not talk about that,” or, “I’d prefer not to say anything about it,” More often, if you explain that it is something personal, people who know you better will not force you to explain. If they insist and push the issue you can use the same answers as one of the above, “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

    Sometimes you’ll mess up, someone will mention a lie you told a while ago. The best thing in such a situation is to admit the truth, apologize for what you’ve said, and tell them you’re working towards becoming a more honest person.

    Let yourself become someone new. In your life, you’ve lied a lot, and if someone called you a liar, they wouldn’t be wrong, but actually, it hurts. Always accentuate to be the person you want to be, emphasize truthfulness. Every time you lie by reflex and have to correct yourself, don’t feel ashamed, only focus on the correction and not the lie. The correction is a sign of improvement that shows that you are getting better. As time goes on you’ll find you’re correcting yourself less and one day you’ll realize, you haven’t lied in over a week. Eventually, you’ll hardly ever feel the urge to lie, and when you do have that urge you’ll have the emotional tools to deal with it.

      Truth does set us free because with truth there’s nothing left to conceal, no more wild stories to keep track of. Truth facilitates us to pursue real dreams, gain success in our lives, and accomplish things that will make us feel unbelievably good and happy about ourselves, instead of empty and disgraced.

     In my opinion, stop lying to your loved one is the greatest and most significant decision you will make in your life. It’s seriously important stuff and will redirect your life like nothing else. 

    The past is always there in the background, you can’t change any part from that period, just learn to ignore it. It won’t bother you if you keep yourself focused on the present and the upcoming future. As you know that the past was something that you’ve learned and will never repeat such mistakes then it won’t haunt you as much.

    Telling people the truth is one of the best things you can do. They might be despondent, yet they will see the value in the way that you conceded your bad behaviors and told them the truth. People you love may leave you and never trust you, it’s never too late, realize it that is how humans are programmed to be.

  • Gambling’s impact on families 

    Gambling’s impact on families 

    Statistics say that 80% of Americans have tried gambling and 5% of those players will end up with a gambling addiction. The problem with statistics is you don’t know what it’s telling you. For me its’ just a number. It’s always only a partial representation of the thing you are trying to understand. I do not want to bore you with statistics, but I would like to inform you that those numbers are way higher. All those families are affected by problem gambling. 

    We still know very little regarding the coping strategies that family members employ in order to mitigate the harms caused by a loved one’s gambling.Family members also experienced psychological barriers to help seeking, often feeling too overwhelmed by other things to seek support and help.Family members of loved ones who gamble have valuable and insightful things to say yet their voices are rarely heard. Family members must also be encouraged to attend support groups, financial counseling.

    Compulsive gambling is a major public health problem.Those with an addiction to gambling will not always have financial problems. While gambling can cause a player to lose their money, it’s not the gambling addiction definition.Gamblers aren’t even playing for the money. They play because it boosts endorphins in the brain which alleviates stress. Gambling is an obsession and the anticipation is as important to the compulsive gambler as the win is.

    Gamblers are masters at blaming external circumstances and other people for their troubles. I still do that often.Blaming others is one way to avoid taking responsibilities for my actions. 

    If you’re living with a compulsive gambler, you’re already familiar with the never-ending cycle of lies.You should never take the blame for their troubles. However, you can encourage them to seek help, support them in their efforts, protect yourself. Remember that you are victim of gambling addiction as well. Feeling like a victim is a natural result.

     I heard that people are saying that “He is not in a relationship with you, he is in a relationship with gambling”.  I wouldn’t quite put it that way myself. I agree there is very little being given to you by gambling addict at this point, and relationships are as much about giving as about taking.   The ultimate question is … do you really love him and does being with him make you happy.

    The road back to recovery isn’t easy, but staying isn’t easy either. It will take time for the wounds created and compounded by compulsive gambling to heal.

    Gambling ruined my life, and I was not the only one to suffer. There are hundreds of such people out there who have gone through the same trouble. My mission is to help them share their story so that they may get help in time.

    Visit my website, https://gambling-addictions.com/ and share your story of recovery and be the motivation for thousands who fell prey to this addiction.

  • How to trust the gambler

    How to trust the gambler

    I will be honest with you – it will be very hard for you to trust the gambler again, but it’s not impossible. It takes a lot of time, good communication skills, dedication and effort. 


    One of the things that helped me and my partner were sessions with a therapist. In one of the sessions, we ended up having a fight. (Embarrassing, right?) However, even tho it was so embarrassing for both of us, it helped, because the therapist pointed out that the language we used vas very aggressive. We were verbally attacking each other, almost without hearing what the other had to say. There was no compassion, just judgement. After that session, we started paying attention to the way we speak and slowly (to be more accurate: super slowly) our conversations started to feel less toxic.


    What can also help you is to remind yourself that gambling addiction is a disease and no one chose to have it. I would advise you to try to understand how “naked”, lost and fragile a gambler, who has revealed her/his gambling secrets to you and hopefully is on a journey to recovery, feels. It’s not easy for a gambler either. It was a huge step for them to realize and admit there was a problem. 
    Having said all of that, I would like to point out that you need to listen to yourself and your thoughts all the time. I believe it is important to tell a gambler what your needs are and what would make you trust her/him. Maybe you would like to be informed or get an access to his/her bank account or maybe you would like to know  what recovery plans s/he has.. If you want to get the trust back, you both need to work on it. If you see that some things don’t add up, that s/he is still being dishonest, or is not trying to make things work, well… that’s a great lesson too. You will then know if it’s worth investing yourself in that relationship / friendship.
    I would like to share a memory that might shed some light on how we feel and how we think while and after a gambling session with a hope it will also help you understand us better. At first we feel excited and then so guilty. We know it’s wrong, but we have no power to break our bad habits by ourselves.

     
    As for the memory, I would like to share how I felt when I would go to, be at and leave Casino. There was a particularly stupid feeling in front of the casino – you’re fighting with yourself. You know very well how these things will end, but then you convince yourself it’s the last time “just this time and I’ll never do it again”. 
    Then, since it’s the last time, you go inside, take your cold beers and quietly start “milking” the appliance (I like to name this process milking). But the machine “milked” me instead. As always, there is a little euphoria when the machine “gives”, the cold beer gets sweeter and you loose you morals at the right moment – the moment when you should have left. The fact that credit has been maxed out and the monthly salary is “stuffed” into the machine is especially hard to take. Out of self-pity, you make another desperate try for the last money and it’s all over before you know it.After Casino I was almost always completely mentally broken, drunk and so angry – why am I being slapped like that? I was disappointed by the fact I did this to myself again.  If any gambler is reading this, try not to overdo the drinking. Try to stay clear-headed if you intend to gamble. Take only money that you can afford to loose. 

    Recovering gambling addict is going to have many challenges. One of them will be sharing finances with a family or partner. This is an issue that I’m dealing often in my home. My partner makes the majority of our income, but I try to make some extra money doing side jobs. When it’s time to pay our bills, I often find myself short on money. Especially now with Covid-19, there are not many jobs available. While I’m giving my best to earn as much as I can, I still feel lots of quilt not having enough money. Exactly this guilt is making me feel like I don’t want to disappoint her and so often urge to lie surface.To avoid lies, my partner and I talk about our finances once a week. We take a look at our budget to see how we have been spending our money and identify any areas where we need to cut back. This also gives us an opportunity to discuss any other issues related to our money, including upcoming expenses, possible income opportunities, and problems we have with our current spending.

    I learnt that being very open with my partner, helps both of us. This is the best way to prevent and resolve any finance issues. Have open communication. If you feel guilty for spending money because you make less money than your partner, talk about it. Plan how you are going to deal with the differences in your salaries.I remember when I was hiding purchases from my partner. I felt guilty for buying myself something even tho money was mine, but it was meant for something more meaningful than e.g. clothes. She would always notice new clothes and she would be so hurt and disappointed in me. Even tho there is no one else to blame for my lies, I realized with a help of my therapist, that I need to understand myself better. I need to dig into my past and try to understand what made me lie. Is it only gambling or I was lying before too? If so, why was I lying, what triggered me? 


    What helped me was that my partner encouraged me to talk about all new realizations about myself, so that we both can understand my problems better. Only when we feel like we won’t be judged, put on a wall of shame or laughed at, we can start our recovering process.Gambling ruined 4 years of my life. However my recovery has been slow and I am still learning more about my real true self every day. For this purpose, I have developed a platform, https://gambling-addictions.com/
    where you can find sincere advice from ex-addicts and also share your story or to reach out for help. I would like to recommend you to read an advice from Justyn Larcombe (embed the link to his name) on this subject.–

  • You Can Beat the Odds

    You Can Beat the Odds

    Someone far handier than me with a calculator once worked out that the chances of any of us existing anywhere in the cosmos are one in 400 trillion. That’s the kind of odds that, by comparison, make winning the state lottery seem as easy as buying a ticket. 

    What about the odds of being struck by lightning? Are they any better than springing into existence after 4 billion years? The answer is yes. The chances of you being struck by lightning in the US in any given year are 1 in 500,000.

    Now, what do you think the odds are of becoming addicted to gambling? They are, in fact, much less than you probably think. There are 10 million gambling addicts in the US alone. That’s roughly one in thirty of us.

    The statistics are impressive, but as a confessed gambling addict myself, the only statistic I care about right now, at least, is the odds of recovery. I can’t say what the figure is exactly.  What I know from experience is that the chances of an addict returning to the everyday world they left behind when your condition took hold are far, far better than a doctor having to write ‘lightning bolt’ as the cause-of-death on your death certificate.

    Whatever the chances were in my case, group therapy improved my odds of beating a condition that afflicts so many of us. I was skeptical of group therapy at first. The idea of baring my soul in front of a room full of strangers terrified me. I would take any excuse not to go.  Doing dishes and tidying the house suddenly seemed so much more interesting and appealing. I had zero interest in going to group therapy, but I didn’t want to lose my partner. 

    I am glad I went there. For the first time, I found myself in the company of like-minded people. People with similar lives, similar fears and with the same financial issues as I had. I felt I belonged, after such a long time feeling that I didn’t. And that made all the difference to my recovery. We were from different walks of life, but we all had one thing in common – an addiction.

    It’s been now almost  year  since I  escaped from this hell. As each day goes by, my belief that I can’t  actually never gamble again becomes more and more solid. I feel  I can beat the odds and not to fall back in gambling trap. I know  it’s  too early to say that I won the war, but I can tell for sure that I won the battle. I found myself often doubting, then I look at the progress that I’ve made in these past year and it’s amazing. Okay maybe not amazing, because the huge debt is still there. But I’m slowly whittling that down. 

     I’m learning about the value of money again. I even took  Jen Sincero suggestion to  write a letter to my money. Writing this letter to my money I realized how much I was actually abusing money. Maybe correct  word would be “not respecting” it. Time after time I do feel regret when I think f the money I lost. Most my friends have mortgage to pay and I have my huge debt as my mortgage. They will at least have a property and I have nothing.

     I’ll always feel behind where I should be, but I stopped making things worse. It’s a better life without gambling. I see things more clearly now. There are still long way to go and who knows, I might be debt free one day again. My next coal would be another year without gambling. Hopefully with support of my partner I can achieve it.

    I had support. My partner stood by me. Sure, she insisted I tell her every single thing that was going on in my life. I agreed to show her my bank accounts. I consented to telling her when I had urges to gamble. She hasn’t left—not yet anyway—though I sense her struggle. I don’t know how much longer she will stay, but at least I know I am doing what she needs to build trust back into our relationship slowly.

    If you have a gambling problem, take it from me, you can beat the odds. The first step is to reach out for help. Contact Gamblers Anaonymous today and take the first step to get well again.

    Gambling ruined 4 years of my life.  However my recovery has been slow and I am still learning more about my real true self every day. For this purpose, I have developed a platform, https://gambling-addictions.com/, where you can find sincere advice from ex-addicts and also share your story to reach out for help.

  • You don’t need to keep it to yourself

    You don’t need to keep it to yourself

    Young people may go into gambling as a result of idleness during the lockdown or even because of peer pressure “My friends gamble so I decided to try it then I tried another one and the next and I just couldn’t stop anymore” Most people are addicted to gambling and don’t even know they are, that is why a group therapy is necessary. Group therapy is a really helpful and effective way of overcoming gambling addiction. From my personal experience, it is the best way for gambling addiction recovery. 

    While discussing with people who face similar problems it creates a sense of understanding and helps the individual to accept criticism, listen to others talk on what they pass through and the steps they are taking to overcome the addiction and be able to think of ways to solve the Our brains are naturally configured to get pleasure out of some of the things we do. That’s why we survive. Pleasure drives us to hit some crucial day-to-day goals, such as finding and eating food.

    But the system as a whole is more complicated than that; it’s not all about tangible rewards. We can spend an awful lot of time pursuing a pleasurable experience that is far from “mission critical” — like discovering how a piece of machinery is assembled, or nutting out the pattern to a sequence of symbols. This kind of puzzle can be frustrating, but the pleasure of eventually solving it spurs us on — and crucially, our brains process the anticipation of that understanding as a form of pleasure.

    Chemically, even though we’ve done nothing useful, this is the same reward we get for achieving a survival goal. And it’s that anticipatory pleasure pathway which goes into overdrive when we gamble. It can lead us to a place that addicts call “the zone”, where even winning the jackpot is a distraction from the game.problem.”there is the track, there’s the sound when you win, and you think ‘i’ve received’, despite the fact that you haven’t — you’ve got absolutely lost. But music plays,” she says.

    “humans come round and come up with unfastened coffee and appearance when you, there may be that best feeling. But … I suppose the real factor is the manner the machines are designed alters the mind.” These changes to the playing mind can do a whole lot of damage. Being in “the sector” manner being in an exchange universe, in which family and responsibility don’t appear important.

    In my wildest dream I never thought anything could be so addictive.I find myself often thinking” why can’t I do this for the most important people in my life”

    Gambling ruined 4 years of my life.  However my recovery has been slow and I am still learning more about my real true self every day. For this purpose, I have developed a platform, https://gambling-addictions.com/, where you can find sincere advice from ex-addicts and also share your story to reach out for help. 

  • Online Gambling- A New Face Of Intense Gambling Addiction

    Online Gambling- A New Face Of Intense Gambling Addiction

    Addiction originally comes from Latin, where it is mean “Enslaved By”. It’s true actually because one who has suffered from addiction can tell you about it’s sturdy and prolonged grip on mind and body. It damages personal and professional life and challenges your senses to be reasonable. The world was already suffering from terrible effects of gambling, and now online gambling has made it even worse. 

    It’s the form of gambling that alone has worth more than $100 billion. The collaboration between addictive mobile technology and casino gambling has made it more accessible and more comfortable to gamble, which is a matter of grave concern. Yes! Believe me this so right about online gambling; it’s 24/7 availability making is potentially more addictive. It is challenging to recover from traditional gambling and now imagine the catastrophe to an online form of this addiction. The internet is making things all the worse because it has made gambling accessible to everyone in every corner of the globe. 

    Even minors who are not allowed to gamble at physical casinos or betting places are gambling through online casinos. It has spawned our youth and troubled gamblers who were already struggling with their gambling addiction. 

    Online Gambling Is a New Form Of Gambling Addiction:

    Some of you may wonder, how online gambling qualifies for addiction? Let me tell you some interesting facts that I have observed over the past few years due to which I personally consider that it perhaps may be the worse form of gambling addiction. The characteristics of online gambling make it potentially more harmful because a gambler doesn’t need to go to a physical location. Let’s dig out some terrible facts about internet gambling addiction.

    Accessibility:

    One of the major causes of the sudden rise in gambling is that online gambling platforms are easily accessible 24/7, and you can gamble from anywhere. All you need is an active internet connection and no need to step in “brick and mortar” walls for gambling anymore. It has provided gamblers great comfort to play and convenience to gamble without fear. They are distracted by alcohol or drugs and can spend more time on gambling and as a result, loose subsequently higher money than ever. 

    Gambling is prohibited for underage and minors. But online gambling has made it easier for minors to gamble without any fear of being caught. You can bet in online casinos even from the locations where gambling is banned. The only option remains in this scenario is self-control, and without it, anyone could fall prey to gambling these days quickly.

    Anonymity 

    Yes! It’s entirely possible these days. A troubled gambler had to watch his back always whether someone is noticing his absence or not. If he spends too much at a casino, then he would be seen. But online gambling is entirely a different matter. Gamblers can play via mobile, laptop, tablet or Personal computer without being missed and revealing their identity.

    Anonymity has encouraged a lot of people to gamble in online casinos without the fear of being caught, and it has increased the likelihood of impulse gambling addiction.

    Affordability

    Online gambling websites are addictive because they use intelligent marketing strategies to convert more gamblers onto their sites. Some offer exceptional discounts and even free chips to play their firsthand, and some offer to take part in progressive jackpots. The greed and impulse to become rich dominates at that moment, and after that, the person becomes a regular visitor. 

    People can easily set up an account to such sites and access their bank accounts on the go gamble at affordable prices at any time. 

    Grave Reality About Online Gambling!

    Internet gambling is likely to continue growing because the platforms are becoming more and more with each update. The entertainment and recreational level are also booming, including easy to access options. The promise of excellent gambling fun has already converted a vast majority of youth to serve gambling addiction. Researcher suggests that accessibility, affordability & anonymity are three root causes that have motivated online gambling. It has increased the value of money, and among other reasons of internet, gambling is fast payout options, exceptional bonuses and discounts, the ease to play from anywhere and extensive possibilities of betting. 

    These days it easy to fall prey to this addiction as technology has surrounded the humans tightly. We live in the digital age and always looking for recreational options. Online gambling is a sort of recreations that ends into catastrophic addiction.

    The Bottom Line

    Online gambling is severely addicted due to its unique and easy to access fun features. Particularly for troubled gamblers, it’s a new form of escape from troubles. Internet gambling is not land-based, and due to its constant availability, the comfort of play and easy betting, it has affected the immense population in many countries around the globe. 

    I am also a victim of gambling addiction, and if you ask me! It’s friendly advice to quit as soon as possible. It will affect your life and those you care and will leave you with debts and sorrows. After recovering from this addiction, I promised myself to help everyone who wants to reach and tell his story & experience of gambling addiction. 

    Visit my website, https://gambling-addictions.com/ and share your life experience. Be a motivation for others and help them understand that Gambling Addiction is not merely an addiction; it’s a curse to your happy life. 

  • How To Handle Gambling Stress?

    How To Handle Gambling Stress?

    Victory is a fleeting thing in the gambling business. Today’s winners are tomorrow’s blinking toads, dumb beasts with no hope.  

    Reference:  Hunter S. Thompson

    At first, you will find yourself head over heels deep in gambling habit. It will act as an anchor point to keep you away from difficulties of life. It’s an approach to subdue the stress of daily life, and many find escape in gambling from domestic issues. However, it may seem entertaining at first, but when you realize the aftermath of trouble, you will just want to quit it. It is not that easy if you ask me. Because it will become a habit that will consume your health and wealth at the same time. Then gambling stress will kick in. The never-ending gambling anxiety and stress will start to take a toll on your life.

    Hi! I am Uri, and today I will share with you guys, what may cause gambling stress and how to handle gambling stress?

    Let’s speak about the gambling problem first. It’s an activity that an individual adopts to get away from lively troubles or to dream about getting rich overnight. It’s also a behavioral change that can’t be resisted and lead to severe social and personal issues. 

    Gambling is tough to quit, and as an Ex-gambler, I can assure you it’s challenging to keep the urges at bay. The biggest obstacle is gambling recovery is gambling stress. Feeling of shame, unending dept and ruined social life make it even hard to recover from gambling anxiety.  

    Here, I am listing a few activities which will teach you how to handle gambling stress? Without any further ado, let’s get right to our task.

    1. Relax Yourself 

    Relaxation is a phycological response that arises when your body feels anxiety, pain, or stress. It’s not self-aroused phenomena; instead, it is triggered by some activity that diverts your mind. So, the best way to reduce gambling stress is to learn how to relax your body? Gambling anxiety is not like reasonable stress condition. It’s a high level of stress that makes a person physically and mentally uncomfortable. So, relaxing your body in this condition is very important. Do the following activities to keep calm in such situations.

    • Take Deep Breaths
    • Find Alternative Activities To Distract Yourself
    • Control You Nerves and Be Patient

    Learning how to relax is also a skill, and like other skills, if someone wants to develop, it gets better with time and practice. You can also do Yoga or other physical exercises to relax and get a hold of your gambling stress. 

    2. Try Something Unique

    No, I am not talking about trying some new gambling tricks. Instead, I am talking about setting new goals and tasks for each day. As a gambler, your mind develops a particular pattern or routine and urges you to follow it. But if you want to get rid of your gambling stress, try something that you haven’t done before. When you focus on new things to do, the gambling urges will remain in check, and thus, your gambling anxiety will diminish.

    3. Rejuvenate Old Hobbies

    Before adopting gambling as a full-time habit, you must have some hobbies to keep your stress in check. When you feel helpless facing gambling stress and anxiety, it is imperative to rejuvenate old hobbies. This will boost your confidence in fast recovery and provide you with moral support to strive for a healthy life. Like most of the chronic addictions, it is vitally important to find healthier alternatives to replace negative habits. 

    4. Find More Ways To Cope With Gambling Stress

    Stress is meter or scale on which we measure our emotions. It can affect your way to faster recovery. To keep in check anxiety and stress caused by gambling, it is crucial to find new ways to cope with this stress. It does not matter whether you find physical exercise, meditation, driving, gaming, or talking with friends openly. Just find yourself an anchor point to control the temptation of gambling. 

    5. Remind Yourself Gambling Is The Cause

    It is of vital importance to remind yourself why gambling is evil. It will cost you hard-earned money, family relations, friendship, and even physical & mental health. You need to be aware of your body urges. Remember that this was the root of your gambling anxiety. Try everything in your power to stay away from peoples who encourage you to gamble. If you do so, you will not need strict stress management. It will help you keep your stress in check.

    Gambling pushes you to your limits, whether, these limits are financial or metal it doesn’t matter. The result will always be the same- Your Destruction!

    Gambling ruined my life, and I was not the only one to suffer. There are hundreds of such people out there who have gone through the same trouble. My mission is to help them share their story so that they may get help in time. 

    Visit my website, https://gambling-addictions.com/ and share your story of recovery and be the motivation for thousands who fell prey to this addiction.

  • I Lost My Partner Because Of Gambling

    I Lost My Partner Because Of Gambling

    True luck consists not in holding the best of the cards at the table; luckiest is he who knows when to rise and go home.

    Reference: John Milton Hay

    Indeed, a wise man always knows when to quit. Gambling addiction is well known as The Silent Killer; it pushes you towards the edge and then sits aside to watch you die as life slips away from your finger. Saying this from my personal experience that gambling leaves a mark on your life. Sometimes, it’s in the shape of a never-ending series of debts, and sometimes, it costs you the ones you loved the most.

    It’s not like gamblers are unaware of the problems; they are very much aware of the impacts- debts, loos of control, daily quarrels, and helplessness. But the thing is the craving will not let you rest until you’re not up for another round at poker table. Gambling feeds on your wealth, family, emotions, relations, last but not least, your health. 

    It goes both ways; gambling affects your relationship, and sometimes, peoples who are fed up with the relations seek refuge in gambling. This habit isolates him further, and each time he looks around, the herd becomes thinner. It provokes a gambler to find an escape from this disastrous life through gambling, while, in reality, it destroys his very essence piece by piece. 

    I lost someone too! And sharing this here will not heal my wounds, but it will mend my grief. Gambling addiction does affect your relationship and can have devastating effects. First, it rakes the trust between relations, and then never-ending lies choke it away completely. The lies, secrets, and gambling itself are the factors that ruin families.

    Hi! Myself Uri and I am an ex-gambler. Losing someone can be harsh, and if this someone is the love of your life, the pain is devastating. Today, I will share with you how your partner will react when he/she finds out about your addiction.

    1. Your Relationship Will Change

    Embrace yourself because this is reality. Once your partner finds out about your gambling addiction, his/her impression of you will change. It may be positive or negative. In most cases, as soon as the partner knows this fact, he/she will decide to leave to whether immediately or in one’s own good time. 

    Gambling is a curse; it drives a wedge in your bonding and then turns it into bits. These bits block the view of your love for your partner. He/she feel like you’re ruining their lives by being unfaithful. It takes huge courage and honesty to drive a relationship. But the broken promises and lies made your partner lose faith in you.

    So, it’s true when I say; the truth will change your relationship with your partner for good.

    2. Feel The Change In Behaviour

    An addict behaves out of order, and in most cases, this is the only reason they get caught. When your partner knows this fact, they feel betrayed. This is where all the hard-earned money was going! Their minds suddenly filled with negative thoughts. They lost complete trust in you, and then comes the change in behaviour. Your partner starts hiding things from you.

    The loving thought of shared dreams, love, mutual respect, and promises that define the very deep emotions of your partner’s commitments were perceived to be betrayed. Your gambling behaviour fades all the good that you have done, and only the stamp of gambler remains by which you’re judged. Once your partner finds put about gambling addiction, you will see that:

    • Your partner starts ignoring you
    • He/she will not share the bed with you anymore
    • Your partner will not tell you his personal affairs anymore
    • Suddenly starts cutting you out from his/her life
    • The love in your partner’s eyes will fade away
    • You will lose respect and faith

    In gambling, you will win big, but the thing you will lose is not just money. It will always be more than you can ever imagine.

    3. Things Will Go Sideways

    Yes! Things will definitely go sideways. Your world will fall apart slowly as sand grains slip from hand. You will feel like fish trapped in a jar. Speaking from personal experience- You can’t run from it, you can hide from the consequences, and certainly, you can’t beat the odds. Not until you make a mind and do something about it. But what happens when things go sideways? At first, you will observe the behavioural changes of your partner, and the never-ending fights will begin. You and your partner will fight and argue over trivial things.

    Your partner will hate your presence, and even after things settle down, they will always remain vigilant about your daily routine. Your partner will meddle into your affairs, and this will start irritating you. But we can’t blame them for this, can we?

    If I talk about myself, it took me years to understand that it was never about winning or losing. It’s the blow we like. We just love to blow away every cent, and with it every relationship we hold dear. In the end, what remains is a long list of loans to prolong the guilt, shame, and anger.

    “As long as the gambling continues, your mind will always stray in darkness, and you will keep chasing your lost memories in the dark mist of the past. The money and relations you have lost are gone forever” 

    How does It end?

    It’s the most painful part. It is also very hard for your partner to leave you. When your partner finds out about your gambling addiction, it comes as a surprise. At first, they take their time to digest the shock and understand the situations. In most of the cases, they feel pity and sticks with you until they can. I have seen many couples struggling over this issue.

    The bad days- days you don’t want to talk about will come, days that will make you lose sleep in the night will follow you. With all this burning inside, your partner will slowly make his/her way out of your life.

    They don’t want to lose their love for gambling, so; they struggle to maintain their relationship. But in very few cases, they dare to make it to the end. Feeling nauseous, confused, and disoriented, their only option will be to let you deal with it and run away. 

    Trust me! They will run away as there is only much one can bear. 

    I read somewhere- The scariest thing in the world is to be left alone. When one loses all the hope, faith, money, and even feel the end is near, the support and love of others kept him going. But when you lose respect, support, and relations, this destroys you, and an addict does that to himself. It takes a lot of soul searching and time to make relations and memories, but all it takes one wrong decision to fade it all.

    How I Lost My Partner To Gambling?

    Let me share with you guys- The Story Of My Life! HOW I LOST MY LOVE, and my partner to this addiction. She was everything to me, the most important person of my life. Our life was perfect, we had moved in together about 3 years ago and enjoying life to it’s full. We were the perfect fit for each other, like the missing pieces of a puzzle. I knew her mood swings, habits, likes, and dislikes and was always there for her.

    We got engaged, and everything was going as we had planned. We were saving money for our better future and were looking to have a dream life together full of joys and love. Last year, we travelled in the summer and decided to have a baby to complete our family. We booked for an IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) treatment and started choosing cute names for our future family members.

    In between these pleasant times, we had brought a dog in our new apartment that we had rented about nine months ago. In the evening, when I come home from a tiresome work routine, I used to play with our dog, and then we spend the night discussing our day. But I don’t know she got the air of my gambling habit that changed everything. At first, she became angry for not telling her, and afterward, the arguments and long fights become a permanent thing.

    She supported me initially, but as time passed, she didn’t want to stay with me anymore. Just like that- My life was torn apart, I promised to quit, but she didn’t believe me. Trust was gone and she didn’t believe me anymore. After serious fights and never-ending arguments, she asked me to move out of the apartment.

    I don’t blame her for that, as it was me who was to blame. I did that to myself. I lost her because of my foolishness. After that day, I promised myself that I would quit gambling, start working hard to have a new life, and never make that mistake again that cost me everything. At my blog gambling-addictions.com, I share my experience as a gambling addict and want the people to know that if they won’t quit this habit in time, they will lose their partner as I did.

  • Will I Ever Be Able to Watch Sport Again?

    Will I Ever Be Able to Watch Sport Again?

    If you are a compulsive gambler, then you most likely “borrowed” from credit cards, family, friends – anywhere where money was available, hoping to fund one more bet that gets you back on track. I know, because that is exactly my story. I didn’t get the big win to get my money back, but instead a huge debt. 

    Even after admitting I am a compulsive gambler, unexpected problem occurred: complacency and listening to ‘the voice’ (‘I have things under control so it will be fine to have one bet’). Fighting with my addiction also left me wander if I will ever be able watch sport again, without having an urge to gamble.

    For many years, I used to watch football, especially big tournaments like World Cup. Watching with my friends on the weekend somewhere in the pub and having few pints was special for me. I still remember times when “real” Ronaldo was playing. For me he was the best player in the world.

    For many of us, a sporting event is an opportunity to take some time out and indulge in something entertaining on an otherwise boring weekend. Even if we don’t make it to the stadium, we make sure to watch the live broadcast of the event when our favorite team is playing. Be it soccer or horse racing, we love watching them for the sheer fun and entertainment they provide.

    But there are many others who take the fun to an addictive level—something that costs them their valuable monetary earnings and savings. That’s the horror of sports betting and gambling addiction that’s engulfing millions of people in countries like the US and the UK. Major sports leagues, such as MLB, the NHL, the NBA and the likes have become avenues where sports bettors place bets (huge ones) and seek to multiply what they put in. 

    However, the results aren’t favorable always. Since it’s a game of chance, nothing’s guaranteed and people land up losing even their fortune to the urge to gamble more till they get something out of it. Rising debts and remortgages cause them immense mental and financial distress, and take a heavy toll on their overall wellbeing. 

    The good news is there is help. People who have become aware of this destructive pattern approach professionals to break it. Some of them even land up in a rehab center where they are kept away from any opportunity to watch sport lest they feel the urge to gamble again. Most of the awakened gamblers prefer not to watch live sport again because they find the ads and content triggering enough to fall off the bandwagon. In fact, they wish betting on sport was outlawed because many people fall in the addiction trap again.

    Nonetheless, if you are a recovering gambling addict, a lot depends on your willpower. If you choose to improve and stay on track, you will soon be able to watch sports without the urge of gambling away your hard-earned money. 

    If a bar with the football on TV, or a club with your favorite  slot machine is the beginning of the gambling trigger for you, then you should avoid going there for a while. I don’t trust myself and that is why I stopped checking the sports results for a while. My biggest worry is that I will be exposed to gambling promotions during sports broadcasts and I won’t be able to resist them.

    One day I hope I will be able to watch my favorite team playing, without having an urge to gamble. I cannot wait those times when I will be able to rediscover the joy of watching football again, without being sucked to the betting nightmare again.

  • Interview with Justyn Larcombe

    Interview with Justyn Larcombe


    Friends and family are often key to encourage loved ones with gambling problems to seek help. I was lucky to have my fiancé, who was pushing me to seek professional help. She didn’t give up on me (yet), and she wanted to know everything about the addiction, that was destroying our relationship.

    After trying to learn all she could about the gambling, she discovered that there is not much support nor articles she could find for addict’s partners and their psychological and emotional health. In this difficult period, she contacted many psychologists, because she didn’t know a thing about problem gambling. She wanted to hear from many doctors what their views on this disease was, so that she could form hers. They all gave her different advices. Some said that she should leave straight away, while others told her that she shouldn’t rush with her decision. Advice she appreciated the most was that it wasn’t her fault, as partners often feel guilty and think that they did something wrong.

    One day, after coming home from work, she told me to check a TED talk she found helpful. It was “The fall and rise of a gambling addict” by Justyn Rees Larcombe. It’s a story about ex-military Major that gambled his money and savings.

     A good TED talk does more than just inspires you – it changes the way you see the world, or challenges you are facing. That was exactly what I experienced. It made a huge impact on me, because for the first time, I felt relieved. I wasn’t the only one with this problem, I’m not alone.

    For my biggest surprise, my fiancé bought me a book Justyn wrote “Tails I Lose”. She knew I couldn’t afford it and how much just a short TED talk meant to me. It was the most precious gift I have ever received, because I realized she gave me the second chance and really wants to see me getting better.

    What an inspiration the book was. I realized there is always a way out, no matter how bad the problems might seem. However, after reading the book, I still had a few questions and decided to reach out to Justyn. To my surprise, he replied straight away with equally inspiring advices:

    How did you manage to win back your partner’s trust? Looking from this perspective, what would you advice compulsive gamblers who are still hiding from their partners their addiction? When and how to face their partners with the truth? 

    Justyn: One thing I always say is that it is so much better to tell your partner than for them to find out, but choose a time when you have taken some steps on the road to recovery so you can talk about the issue with some good news.Even if it’s just to say ‘this is what happened, but now I have self excluded’ or ‘now I have stopped and am going to a meeting’.Trust is so preciousand if you tell them there is a chance to keep it, if they find out, it may never come back. There are no easy solutions to life. Someone once said to me that for as long as you lied to your partner, expect them not to believe you for the same time after you stop lying. It will hurt when they question you when you are telling the truth, you will be surprised because you never even thought to lie. So give them time – even if it takes a few years.

    Winning back trust takes time, be patient, look for opportunities to win it back and if the love is still there, the trust will follow in time. You have to work a bit harder to  make sure you follow through with everything you say, even if its just turning up at the time you said you would and don’t be surprised if they question you more frequently. Maybe share your finances a bit more and don’t have separate accounts or lines of credit.

    Winning back trust takes time, be patient, look for opportunities to win it back and if the love is still there, the trust will follow in time. You have to work a bit harder to make sure you follow through with everything you say, even if it’s just turning up at the time you said you would and don’t be surprised if they question you more frequently. Maybe share your finances a bit more and don’t have separate accounts or lines of credit.

    In the UK, 1 in 10 suicides is related to problem gambling and a problem gambler is 15 times more at risk from suicide than non gamblers. It is the shame that drives this statistic. I think it helped me to be honest and to realize I wasn’t the only one. So meeting and talking to others in a similar position – or connecting via a blog will really help!

    Justyn is the CEO of “Recovery Two” charity that is helping others to cope with gambling addiction.

    Justyn: “Recovery Two” offers recovery courses to all addicts and one of the key things we noted, as you so rightly point out, is the lack of support for those impacted by the addiction of a loved one. The focus always seems to be on the addict, there should be more support for family. Gambling addiction has a particular impact on family members because of the debt it causes. So we run a family support group which has been a great help to many.

    In case you need support or would like to learn more about gambling addiction, here is the link of  Justyn’s “Charity Two” where you can find needed information.

    If you would like to watch a TED talk I mentioned, here is the link:
    “The fall and rise of a gambling addict” by Justyn Rees Larcombe.

    If you would like to read Justyn’s book, you can purchase it here:
    “Tails I Lose”

  • Credit Card Ban Could Be The Solution

    Credit Card Ban Could Be The Solution

    Online payments and loans are such an abstract representation of money. You can’t feel money in your hands, but instead, you just see some numbers that most certainly you cannot understand the value of as good as you would with cash.

    Betting online and paying with loaned money didn’t feel real for me. It felt as if it was just an online game without a life changing consequences. It’s funny how even when I would spend a few thousands on a single bet, I would still make sure I was buying the most reasonable priced products in the grocery stores and I wouldn’t be lazy to go an extra mile because of the discounts. It was because I could see, touch, smell and feel what I was spending money on. All my senses were involved in the “physical” purchase.

    Even though credit cards look like any other plastic card in our wallets, it really can change our lives dramatically. You can fall in its trap so easily and it can become one of the biggest supporters of our addictions.

    I started using a credit card when I misunderstood how one furniture store financing worked. The store offered a loan with a promotional introductory rate of 0% APR for the first 12 months. I understood I will get a bill every month, but instead I received a credit card with minus €800 a few days later. Getting the credit card upset me, because at the time I was cautious with my money and I knew those cards have high interest rates. After I paid off the furniture I bought, I left the credit card on a shelf and forgot about it, cause I knew how dangerous it could be.

    When I started to gamble, I was using a debit card. If I would run out of money, my only option was to wait for my next pay day. However, a few months into the addiction, I started to have intense cravings for gambling. Waiting for my next pay day became unnecessarily long and I just couldn’t wait. That is when I rediscovered my long forgotten Credit Card. It was still sitting on the shelf, waiting for some action…

    Gambling addiction is more rampant problem than you might think. It isn’t extraordinary to see millions of people around the globe to start gambling as a one-time experience but soon fall prey to its never-ending loop of winning and losing by chance. While there are many who seek professional help, there are others who go through financial distress, destructive habits and psychological health issues. 

    Major countries like the United States and United Kingdom are taking measures to curb the problem of gambling addiction. One of them is banning the use of credit cards to gamble. A huge chunk of gamblers use their credit cards to bet. But, in reality, that’s the last thing gamblers should think about doing. It may sound quite a convenient option to place bets, but it doesn’t take long for gamblers to be exposed to financial harm.

    Credit card gambling makes people gamble with money that they don’t have. It goes beyond what their pocket allows. Most of these gamblers have whopping amounts of debt on their head because credit cards were easily available and placing bets through them took very little effort. There are also many payday loan websites that offer cheap loans to gamblers. However, they land up losing money more than gaining anything, thereby just accumulating unpayable debts. 

    As such, the ban on placing bets through credit cards is likely to curb problem gambling and protect people from any sort of harm. All offline and online gambling products, except lottery tickets, will be covered under the new measure. Mortgage lenders are also warned by the Gambling Commission in the UK that problem gamblers could remortgage their homes while hiding their addiction pattern. Many charities, financial services and campaigners seem to welcome the ban because this is a measure that will surely minimize the financial risks associated with problem gambling, but also judiciously maintain the integrity of the industry.

    Speaking of credit cards, credit card companies don’t care about our financial wellbeing, just like casinos. I learned that a hard way. I started taking out little sums for my online gambling, and before I knew my card was maxed out. Looking back, using the credit card for online betting, as well as hiding the addiction from my family, were two biggest mistakes I made. I maxed out my credit cards probably 6 times, which I paid by taking loans. It’s a vicious circle that you can hardly get out of.

    Gaming operators have to act in a socially responsible way. Banning the usage of credit cards IS a solution every gambling operator has to apply and the law every country must adopt.

  • Why Recovering Gambling Addicts Fail

    Why Recovering Gambling Addicts Fail

    You should be proud of yourself! I know that I am, because statistically only roughly 5 percent of people with gambling addiction are seeking treatment. Relapse is going to be a big part of our healing process. 

    I had one relapse, after being “clean” for a few weeks. I received an email from the betting website that offered me €20 bet. Why not, it’s a free money? Next thing I know, I lost €400, just when I was thinking I’m doing a good job with my recovery. It was very hard to accept that relapses are normal and that they don’t mean you are not on a right path of your compulsive gambling recovery.                                     

    Millions of people around the globe struggle with problem gambling. It starts with the one-time desire to try, but it doesn’t take long for a person to fall into its shackles. Once that happens, it starts off a life of destructive habits, financial distress, and mental health issues. Despite knowing the negative effects of gambling, people have an uncontrollable urge to engage in the activity—just like smoking, drinking, or drug addiction.

    Once gambling addiction starts, the person who is unable to resist from betting continues to chase the “high” they get from a big win. That’s despite the string of continuous losses, cheating, lying, or even stealing money to keep gambling. In extreme cases, the addicted person tends to undergo a significant personality shift. While the person may hide his or her gambling addiction and engage in working and leading their everyday life, consequences tend to build up in the background.

    Most recovering gambling addicts tend to fall prey to the lures of gambling companies—be it financial rewards, free bets, football tickets and other perks. These are enough to draw a recovering person back to the addiction, no matter how much that costs them in terms of membership fees and losses. It happened with me to, I was constantly getting free bets from gambling companies.

    A relapse of gambling addiction is not a verdict of failure. One should know that relapses don’t occur because a treatment hasn’t failed, or because the person lacks willpower to quit the habit. Relapse, albeit being unpleasant, is an essential learning point for recovering gambling addicts. If addressed properly, it becomes a powerful experience for the recovery process. 

    Undesirable relapses of gambling addiction are common in the recovery process. Also, they can be overwhelming for both, the recovering addict, as well as their near and dear ones. However, one should not confuse a relapse with a slip. A slip is a single unplanned gambling incident; the person briefly engages in the activity, but instantly regrets the move and stops it immediately. On the other hand, a relapse is a return to gambling after not doing it for a long period. If you slip back into addiction, it’s a sign that it’s time to re-evaluate your goal to stop gambling and change your recovery strategy. 

    Dealing with my addiction and all that I have caused has been hard, especially after seeing how much I hurt my fiancé. I hurt her tremendously. Finding her in tears when she thought no one was watching her, made me feel devastated, suicidal at times. We went through a difficult period when she found out and we’re still struggling. Thoughts about how our life would be if I wasn’t a gambler are hunting me constantly. 

    Gambling addiction is a serious disease that will try to sneak up on us when we least expect. Just because you had a relapse doesn’t mean you have to or will keep on betting. Gambling relapse triggers will never entirely disappear. I’m trying to protect my recovery by recognizing the triggers and not falling for them. I decided to go for a run or a walk whenever I have an urge to bet. So far, I had one relapse and 50 km of running and walking.

    Because of COVID 19, there are no games I could bet on. Casinos are closed, so currently I don’t have an urge to bet, because there is nothing I could bet on. Let’s see if things will change when restrictions get lifted. However, if I do end up having relapses in the future, or if you do, then we will have to change our recovery strategy and talk honestly with our therapists/support group, cause only with the help of professionals we can beat this disease.

    Good luck mate, and let me know if I can help you anyhow!

  • Telling to My Fiancé

    Telling to My Fiancé

    My life was amazing. I was working as a chef where the income wasn’t that good, but l managed to make savings and afford almost everything I wanted. I am ambitious and have always wanted to achieve a lot in my personal and professional life. If I had opportunity to study or take extra courses, I took it.

    I had a beautiful fiancé, very independent, highly educated, with a successful career. We were tougher for almost 4 years. Every possible moment we tried to spend together. I couldn’t be more thankful for such a supportive and loving partner, that I truly wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

    We had so many dreams and great plans together. One of them was our own little family. After two years of trying to have a baby, we decided to go for an IVF treatment. Around that time I became a compulsive gambler. All my mood swings she understood as coping with negative pregnancy results that we were facing every month. She never pushed me and tried to understand why I was so down, because she assumed I needed space, as she needed it too. Coping with infertility and negative pregnancy results was extremely hard, especially for her. For me, it was just a continuation of my sorrows that no one knew anything about.

    She didn’t know I owed to the banks more than 40 thousand euros and this pressure was killing me. Although she is such a loving and supportive person, I couldn’t tell her the truth. I was so ashamed and I didn’t want to break the image of a strong, supportive partner that she had of me. I was sure she would leave me, if she knew how weak I was. None of us wants to be seen as weak and we are all used to pretend and keeping our heads high in every difficult situation, even when all we really want is to shout or cry… How well suited are Queen’s lyrics here: “Oh yes, I’m the great pretender, pretending that I’m doing well…”

    I knew the lie was going to destroy her, that all she thought she knew so well will be gone. Trust she had in me will be gone.

    I was looking forward to having a family with my beautiful partner, secretly hoping that when we have a baby, I will stop gambling. I was afraid that we may find ourselves stretched financially, paying for the high cost of IVF treatment with a somewhat limited probability of success, so I started gambling even more, to earn back all I had lost.

    Our IVF was getting closer and she was so exited. Hearing from the doctor that we have to be in a good place emotionally and have our relationship on solid ground before starting an IVF cycle, hit me badly. I wanted to kill myself. I was constantly telling to myself that I can’t I ruin my fiancé’s and unborn baby’s life like this, but at the same time, I was so afraid of her reaction and was sure that it will be end of our relationship. I didn’t want to loose her and all we had. The shame was unbearable. How should I tell her that I have a debt in 7 different banks, that I won’t be able to pay for any scheduled treatment nor anything for the baby next who-knows-how-many years? How should I even start the story? How do you open up and admit the addiction? When would be the best time to tell her?

    Finally, two days before the treatment, I managed tell her. It was on Monday, while she was still at work. The previous day we had a fight, because she was asking me how come the second month in a row I cannot pay my share of the rent, when I have a full-time job. I texted her apologizing for the fight. She still couldn’t understand why I don’t have money out of the sudden and asked me out of the blue if I was gambling. I used the opportunity and told her the truth partially. I admitted that my credit card was maxed out. She just texted me back that we will talk more when she gets back home. I wasn’t man enough to tell her about 50 thousand euros what I owed to different banks. 

    I still remember the look on her face when she arrived home. She was crying, telling me that she was holding back the tears the whole day at work. She was completely broken, and to my surprise, she wasn’t screaming. Instead, she was very supportive and warm. She was hugging me constantly, asking why I didn’t tell her earlier, cause she could maybe help me and we would go trough any shit together. We both were crying a lot that and following few days.

    The very same night she couldn’t sleep, and had woken me up, asking if my credit card was the only debt I had. I couldn’t lie to her anymore, and I told her everything. We spent the entire night talking about how my gambling addiction started and how I ended up taking loans. She remained extremely calm, even though her world collapsed. All her dreams were gone. Baby what we were wishing for such a long time was gone. A man who she thought she knew so well was gone.

    Telling her everything was the best decision I had ever made. No more lies, no more hiding. All the “cards” were opened. Even now when I’m writing this, I feel so sorry for lying to her all these years. I was too afraid and ashamed to reveal the truth, to see her disappointment. I’m such a coward!

    It was much easier to breathe, now that she knew. The pressure I felt and self-blaming were not as hard as before. Finally, the lie was off from my shoulders. Both of us were heart broken. I felt naked and as if I was starting my life anew.

    I can’t imagine the pain she was going through. She didn’t know any gambler and this addiction was something she knew nothing about. Therefore, she started doing the research to learn as much as possible, before making any decision about our future. She was sharing her findings, trying to educate myself too, She found all support groups and made me see a therapist.

    However, after a few days, she cancelled the IVF treatment and had asked to move out, so that she has more space to think. I was very thankful for her, for the love she gave me and all the support. At the same time, I am honestly very glad I didn’t ruin her life completely by having a baby with a gambler.

    Advice for fellow gamblers

    Speak up and admit you have the problem right now! Don’t wait until it’s too late! Go!

    Your family needs to know, cause they don’t deserve to live in a lie. They are planning their lives based on a lie and they didn’t deserve it. Let them know, so that they can plan their lives based on a truth.

    We can never know how someone will react and that is the scariest part. Maybe you will be surprised, as I was. Maybe your partner won’t be screaming, as mine didn’t, or maybe they will and that is ok too. It’s is because they are hurt greatly and you can stand it. Be there for your family and answer to all their questions. Help them understand what your addiction is.

    No more lies! Communicate with your dear partner and tell them all about what you’re going through. That is the only way that will take us far.

    We can do this! 

    Useful link

  • My Life Before a Gambling Addiction

    My Life Before a Gambling Addiction

    I was born in Estonia, in the beginning of ‘80s. I really want to skip the part where we were living in soviet times, when there were no possibilities to travel abroad or to buy groceries without a coupon. My childhood was happy, especially because we didn’t have mobile phones or computers. Life was somehow easier compare to nowadays, where access to bank loans and betting are just a click away. It seems to me, in that sense, you had less chances to ruin your life.

    At school, I was terribly bored. I wasn’t the best student and was sometimes receiving remarks from teachers about being late and not paying enough attention in classes. My favorite hobbies were playing basketball and football, fishing and cooking. Actually, for as long as I can remember I loved cooking, so it was clear for me that I wanted to be a chef when I grow up. Therefore, I finished cooking college and became a chef.

    Moving to Ireland 

    As you will see, I was making quite a few questionable decisions in my life. The first one, that will change the course of my life forever, was when I decided to live and work as a chef in Ireland when I was 19 years old and didn’t speak a word of English. Here is why I decided to make such a radical move.

    I have to thank my parents for giving me so much freedom (maybe sometimes too much) when I was in my teenage years. Being on my own, without much control from parents, was becoming a problem, because I started hanging out with the wrong crowd. All of my friends where drinking a lot. Being young, inexperienced, with a need to fit in, I didn’t want to say no to temptations. After many hangover mornings and some visits to police stations, I realized that I have to get out of that circle. 

    Being desperate for a change, I took a risk and applied for a job in Ireland through one agency in Tallinn, where both the accommodation and job were provided. I don’t know how, but I got accepted barely knowing a word of English. Maybe they thought chefs don’t talk to customers? I was so nervous for going there, but at the same time excited because of the fresh start. I was hoping that being fluent in Estonian, Russian and German will be enough to get me started, together with €100 my pocket. 


    Going to Ireland, was the first time I was leaving the country, first time at the airport and the first ride on the plane. I remember sitting at airport in Tallinn, thinking “what am I doing now, is this really happening?“, hoping that I’m going to be fine and that I made a good decision. It’s amazing how some thoughts stay with us forever.

    From the moment the plane landed, I fell in love with Ireland, especially Dublin. Everything was so green and people were warm and positive. I thought this city could become my home and it did, for the next seven years.


    The first disappointment came a few days after I landed, when I realized that the Estonian agency put me to work in “Abrakebabra”, a fast food restaurant. I was promised to work for a fancy restaurant, because I finished culinary college and got a degree. I couldn’t change the job, because my residence permit was connected to it. I lived in a house together with six other people who were in the same situation. At least I got my own room and I quickly adapted to this arrangement.

    The Irish pub culture surprised me. It was very popular for all the workers to go after work for a pint…every day. After a while, I got used to this too, as well as to partying hard.

    It was quite easy for me to make new friends, also because of my love to both watching and playing football. I’ve been Manchester United supporter all my life.

    A memory, that taught me to be extra careful with the expression of my passion, was when one day, wearing proudly my clubs red t-shirt, I walked into the local pub I didn’t visit before. Suddenly, like in a movies, the place went quiet. Everybody was staring at me and I wasn’t sure what was going on. While ordering a pint I noticed that this was Liverpool supporters’ pub. Next thing I remember, was me running out as fast as I could. Luckily, nothing bad happened.

    In Ireland I made my first bet. A few of my friends and I were in a pub when someone noticed horse race on a screen. We all decided to try our luck and make a bet. I didn’t know anything about betting, not even terms like “odds” or “even money”. Standing there, in front of the bookie, listening how he passionately tried to explain the ways we can spend our money, I thought I have nothing to lose. He said that we can still win, even tho the horse we put a bet on lost. The next thing I remember was that I had 50 euros in my hand which I put on the horse called “Russian Roulette” (10 to 1 where odds for that horse). 5 minutes later, I was standing with 500 euros in my hand. “Easy money”, I was thinking, but I didn’t have an urge to gamble again. That was the first and last time I gambled in Ireland. The urge didn’t come in Australia either, where I moved next.

    Moving To Australia

    Even though life in Ireland was nice, with secured job and good friends, it wasn’t enough and I needed a change. I was getting sick of the rainy whether and short summers. I needed some warmer climate and was sure that “grass was greener” elsewhere. Luckily, my best friend thought exactly the same and liked adventures as much as I did, so we decided to go together to Darwin, Australia next. We flew there with only a luggage, fishing rod and €1000 of savings, hoping we will find a job straight away.

     
    I could write countless pages about my experiences in Australia. For instance, job hunting, working for prestige restaurants, spending time with aboriginal community, going to work in the meat factory and getting arrested, traveling to Bali and Philippines, living in a truck and tents with my best friend for a few months, working on a boat for a multi-millionaire, being offered a modeling job from respected scout that I rejected, having a car accident… but I will leave them for some other posts, because now I just want to give you a brief overview of how I was living my life before it became “possessed” by gambling.

    After three years, our visa expired and we had to decide where to go next. My plan was to move closer to my home country and start to think seriously about my future. I was 30 years old.

    Moving To Finland

    I decided to go to Finland, because I had better chances to make savings than in Estonia, and at the same time, I would be able to visit my family more frequently, which I was missing.

    It was hard to start again from scratch, the third time in 10 years. I barely knew Finnish, just had some basic knowledge from the Elementary school, had no savings, job, friends, and I was pissed, cause I actually never wanted to leave Australia.

    First few months in Helsinki, I was very insecure. I doubted my skills as a chef, so I started my career in Finland as a dishwasher. It was easier. I didn’t have to stress or think much about it, but I was in the kitchen and could see how different it is compared to what I was used to. After 3 months, I grew stronger, gained confidence, and started to work again as a chef. My biggest achievement, was that I managed to finish the prestige culinary college in Helsinki and became officially a head chef. 


    Compared to crazy days in Australia, my life in Finland became quite opposite. It was way calmer, maybe even boring. I was doing lots of sports, rediscovered my love for hiking, fishing and camping. 

    Finnish and Estonian cultures are similar, but being abroad for so many years, I forgot how cold we can be. It is harder to approach people and make friends. It took me some time before I managed to make few friends.

    I wasn’t happy. I was putting myself under a lot of pressure, because I didn’t have any savings or girlfriend. I did have countless experiences, but they couldn’t get me a car or house that I started dreaming of.


    After working hard for a few years I finally managed to make savings. I could finally afford to buy a car, Volvo C30, and I think I was the proudest owner. Four years after moving to Finland, I met beautiful Serbian girl, who stayed and worked in Helsinki, after her Master studies. Three years later, I proposed to her and she said “Yes!”. We wanted to expand our family and equally wanted a baby. Life was amazing again, at least I thought.


    In the next blog post, I will tell you how I started to gamble and when I realized I have an addiction.