A Gambler Is Nothing But a Man Who Makes His Livings Out Of False Hope
Reference: William Bolitho
Take it from a person who had experienced the severe effects of gambling addiction- just stay away from this hellish play. It starts as fun, and as you indulge in it further, it becomes a nightmare. There is no easy way out for a gambling addict and mark my words- sooner or later, you’re going to find yourself isolated from everyone and desperately seek for help. It’s not something you can ignore casually because, on later stages, gambling addicts can experience physiological issues along with financial and social impacts.
Hi! Myself Uri and I am an ex-gambling addict. I know how you feel about this addiction and how you feel proud about your winnings. Been there and felt everything that you’re going through now. At first, it feels like heavens, and as soon it hits you hard, everything changes into hellish nightmares. If you’re an addict and reading out my blog- I will strongly recommend to reach out for help while you still have time.
Gambling is inevitable, and no matter what is said or done to advocate or oppose the gambling addiction, it is something that is practised on a larger scale or tacitly endorsed by a substantial majority of individuals for worldly benefits.
In this article, I am going to share with you, how you can find out whether your partner is a gambling addict and what can you do for his gambling recovery.
How To Find Out Your Partner Is a Gambling Addict?
When you identify an addict, it is usually more difficult to convince him/her about his addiction. First things first, gambling addicts are categorized into two types,
- Escape Gamblers: They are tough to catch as most of them don’t even do gambling openly. They seem normal until they reach to the peak point or even near collapsing.
- Action Gamblers: Recognizing an action gambler is easier if you know about his habits. Any particular change in his behaviour can ring your bells. For example, action gamblers love to play poker.
Without further ado, let’s dig out general ways to find out about someone’s gambling addiction.
1. Loss Of Interest
Saying this from personal experience- A gambling addict loses interest in spending time with others, including his family and friends. If your partner is not showing up for dates lately or ditching dinners and family gatherings, then it’s a cue for you to look into his affairs. I will not be surprised if you find about his addiction because it’s what addicts do. They lost interest in everything other than gambling. He spends more time on making strategies to gamble and making plans to get money for the next gamble.
2. Promise Unending Lies
Yes! I did that a lot. I used to promise every day with myself and my loved ones- This is the last time, I am gambling, and after tonight’s game, I am done with this shit. But you know what! This doesn’t work and every single time I was there, back at the gambling table shuffling cards for the next round. So, if your partner is making promises and swearing you- This is the last time, I am doing this. Just don’t fall for his lies anymore.
3. Often Boast About Becoming Rich
It’s the most fatal lie a gambling addict tells himself and his loved ones. There was a time in my life when all I thought about was getting rich, and gambling seemed an easy way. Yes! You can get rich, but the cost is too high. If you get a hold of winnings, it will never let you stop, and if you keep losing, it will obliterate you sooner or later. The addiction starts with a hope that something out there can instantly bring everything in your life which you desire, but you end up getting more debts.
So, if your partner often boasts about big winnings or becoming rich overnight. I recommend having a glance at his expenses. You will soon find an unexpected rise in withdrawals and his gambling addiction.
4. Tries To Hide at Any Cost
Gambling sticks with you and you can’t wash it off
This saying reminds me of the time when I used to slice off time from every hour of the day for just being on a gambling table. I used to look for places as far from home as possible to gamble without fear of being caught in the act. I just feel lucky to recover from the loss in time because someone was always there to care for me.
Look into the daily routine of your partner. If possible, keep a record of his working hours and if he is spending more time out there, than sadly he is in trouble. Reach out to him and try to understand his condition because you’re the only one who can help him while he still has a chance at recovery.
Sometimes, while I am on a beautiful morning walk or standing on the peaceful bank of the river, I use to think about that moment of self-realization. I was fortunate to have it early on before it began to have fatal impacts on my relationship, finances and family.
I first-hand witnessed the devastating effects of gambling, and I must say, Please don’t hate gambling addicts- feel pity for them and help them if possible.
If you suspect your partner has gambling problems, you are the best chance at his gambling recovery. Firstly, encourage him to get help from professionals and try to convince him of his addiction. You must realize his condition and deal accordingly. You can offer support to your partner and seek professional guidance in the matter. Let’s have a look at ways through which you can support someone troubling with gambling addiction.
1. Have a Talk
Addicts feel completely isolated even in the dense crowd. Their minds are filled with a thousand thoughts and remorse. But there is no one to share these thoughts. The best thing you can do at the initial stage of gambling recovery, reach out and have a talk with your partner. Listen to his story and feel his pain. Encourage him for his struggle and share his agony.
By mere listening to his torment, you are providing him support to change for a better life.
2. Spend Time With Your Partner
As discussed before, a gambling addict isolates himself from everyone- Ignores his family, his partner and his friends. He would not attend family gatherings anymore and will spend less time with his family. So, your second step should be to slice up your happy hours for him. Start noticing his mode swings and always be there when he needs you.
Plan a dinner or night out with him and make him appear for outings on time. This practice will substantially reduce his gambling time and keep in check his addiction. It will help your partner’s gambling recovery and make him realize that you care deeply.
3. Appreciate His Efforts
Most of the gamblers start with a passion for providing luxury to their loved ones. They want their partners to have everything in life. The thought is not wrong because it is usually born out of care. So, if you want your partner to stay away from gambling, appreciate his little efforts to make you happy.
Appreciate his love and support his financial status. Make him realize- he is providing enough, and all you need is, his love. It will encourage him to stay on the path and work hard to achieve something more significant. Appreciation is the easiest way to help in gambling recovery.
4. Encourage To Join Support Groups
Support Group featured a rotating cast of characters in various states of tumour-driven unwellness. Why did the cast rotate? A side effect of dying
Reference: John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
I have been there; right at the verge of collapsing, but someone came to my aid and encouraged me to think about a better future. Support groups are closed circles in which a gambling addict can speak freely about his mistakes and he can share his feelings openly.
How foolish was he to think that gambling could make him rich? These groups have sworn secrecy, and the good thing about the sessions is you meet peoples who made the same mistakes. This thing sparks your thoughts and inspires you to make things right in future. It’s the easiest way to gambling recovery, which is proven efficient because it aims to give you a sense of realization.
Make your partner join these sessions, try to take part with him and listen to his regrets. Encourage him to do well and support him along the way to make his gambling recovery as smooth as possible.
5. Set Aims for Future
A gambling addict loses his courage to move forward. Sometimes, suicide is the only option to end the misery as their future seems darkened. Speaking this from experience- There comes, a point in every gambler’s life when all hope is lost, and they feel terrible about their existence. Many end their lives in remorse, and many lost their way to life. Only a few have someone who care, and those are the ones for whom you are going to make yourself better.
Share Your Story!
Gambling is not a foul play, and to some extent, it is socially acceptable. But gambling addiction is a whole different story. If you think you can manage it and leave it untreated, gambling addiction will get to you eventually. It affects your friends, family and even your relationships. When I got out of it, I promised myself to share the stories of addicts so that they may get help and never feel hopeless again.
Visit my website, https://gambling-addictions.com/ and share your story to get help in time.