Gambling Addictions

Tag: gambling depression

  • Recipe for Disaster: Gambling and Bipolar Disorder

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    Bipolar Disorder is a mental illness that can have a devastating impact on a person’s life. I know this all too well because it ruined mine.

    It began when I was in my early twenties, just starting out in my career and feeling like I had my whole life ahead of me. But little did I know that beneath the surface, a storm was brewing.

    At first, the symptoms were subtle. I would go through periods of intense productivity and creativity, where I felt on top of the world and could accomplish anything I set my mind to. These were the manic phases of my disorder, and they were exhilarating. I felt like I was invincible, like nothing could stand in my way.

    But then, just as quickly as the mania would set in, it would dissipate, leaving me feeling empty and numb. I would sink into a deep depression, unable to find any joy or motivation in anything. It was like the light had been snuffed out, leaving me in a never-ending darkness.

    As time went on, the cycles became more frequent and more intense. I found myself unable to hold down a job, as my moods would shift so dramatically that I couldn’t function in a work environment. I would miss days of work due to my depression, only to show up the next day full of manic energy, unable to focus on anything but the ideas racing through my mind.

    My relationships suffered as well. My friends and family didn’t know how to handle my erratic behavior, and many of them eventually distanced themselves from me. I felt like I was alone in a world that didn’t understand me, trapped in a never-ending cycle of highs and lows.

    I tried medication and therapy, but nothing seemed to help. The pills made me feel like a zombie, robbing me of what little energy and creativity I had left. And the therapy, while helpful in some ways, couldn’t fully alleviate the constant turmoil raging inside me.

    I began to lose hope that I would ever find a way out of the darkness that had consumed me. I felt like a prisoner in my own mind, unable to escape the torment of my bipolar disorder. It was eating away at me, slowly but surely, until there was nothing left but a shell of the person I used to be.

    I checked myself into a mental health facility, where I received the help and support I so desperately needed. It was a long and difficult road, but with the right medication and therapy, I began to see a glimmer of hope on the horizon.

    Slowly but surely, I began to rebuild my life. I found a job that understood and accommodated my mental health needs. I reconnected with my friends and family, who stood by me through thick and thin. And most importantly, I learned to accept myself for who I was, bipolar disorder and all.

    Today, I am in a much better place than I ever thought possible. I still have my ups and downs, but they no longer control me. I have learned to manage my bipolar disorder in a healthy and constructive way, using it as a source of strength rather than a weakness.

    Gambling and bipolar disorder are two complex issues that are often intertwined in a way that is not well understood by many.

    While there is no direct causal link between the two, studies have shown that individuals with bipolar disorder are more likely to engage in risky behaviors such as gambling.

    Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition that is characterized by extreme mood swings, ranging from manic episodes of high energy and impulsivity to depressive episodes of low energy and lethargy.

    These mood swings can have a significant impact on a person’s decision-making abilities and can lead to impulsive and risky behaviors.

    One such risky behavior that is commonly associated with bipolar disorder is gambling.

    Gambling is a form of entertainment that involves wagering money or valuables on an uncertain outcome with the hope of winning more money or valuables in return.

    For some individuals with bipolar disorder, gambling can provide a temporary escape from their symptoms and can serve as a way to seek excitement and stimulation during manic episodes.

    During manic episodes, individuals with bipolar disorder may feel invincible and may be more likely to engage in risky behaviors such as gambling. They may feel a heightened sense of euphoria and may not fully consider the potential consequences of their actions. This can lead to impulsive decision-making and a lack of self-control, which can result in excessive gambling and financial losses.

    On the other hand, during depressive episodes, individuals with bipolar disorder may turn to gambling as a way to cope with their feelings of sadness and despair.

    Gambling can provide a temporary distraction from their negative emotions and can offer a sense of relief from their symptoms. However, this coping mechanism can quickly spiral out of control and can lead to further financial problems and emotional distress.

    Research has shown that individuals with bipolar disorder are more likely to have a history of gambling problems compared to the general population.

    A study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders found that individuals with bipolar disorder were nearly five times more likely to report gambling problems compared to those without the disorder. This highlights the strong association between bipolar disorder and gambling behavior.

    Furthermore, individuals with bipolar disorder who engage in gambling may also be at risk of developing co-occurring disorders such as substance abuse. Research has shown that individuals with bipolar disorder are more likely to engage in substance abuse as a way to self-medicate their symptoms and cope with their mood swings.

    Gambling and substance abuse can often go hand in hand, as both involve addictive behaviors and can have detrimental effects on a person’s mental health and overall well-being.

    It is important for individuals with bipolar disorder to seek help and support for their gambling behaviors. Treatment options such as therapy, medication, and support groups can help individuals learn healthier coping mechanisms and develop strategies to manage their symptoms. It is also important for family members and loved ones to be aware of the potential risks of gambling in individuals with bipolar disorder and to provide support and encouragement for seeking help.

    In conclusion, gambling and bipolar disorder are two complex issues that can be intertwined in a way that is not well understood by many. While there is no direct causal link between the two, studies have shown that individuals with bipolar disorder are more likely to engage in risky behaviors such as gambling.

    It is important for individuals with bipolar disorder to seek help and support for their gambling behaviors and to learn healthier coping mechanisms to manage their symptoms effectively.

    By addressing these issues, individuals can improve their overall well-being and reduce the negative impact that gambling can have on their mental health.

    Bipolar disorder may have ruined my life, but it also taught me resilience and perseverance. It showed me that even in the darkest of times, there is always a glimmer of hope. And it reminded me that no matter how difficult life may seem, there is always a way to find light in the darkness.

  • Gambling Recovery: The Illusion of Fraudulent Redemption

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    In the depths of despair, many seek solace in the promise of gambling recovery programs, hoping to escape the clutches of addiction. These programs offer supposed redemption, nurturing a glimmer of hope in the hearts of the desperate. However, beneath their façade of salvation, a sinister truth hides. The gambling recovery industry exudes an aura of fraudulence, manipulating vulnerable individuals and perpetuating a cycle of dependency.

    This blog post aims to shed light on the deceptive nature of this industry, delving into different aspects and presenting a conservative perspective on its manipulative tactics.

    Illusionary Rehabilitation:

    Gambling recovery establishments often present themselves as beacons of hope, promising a way out of addiction. However, their underlying motive is the generation of revenue rather than the holistic healing of individuals. These programs employ a mix of misleading marketing strategies, capitalizing on the desperation of those seeking help, while providing inadequate treatment. They create an illusion of a thorough recovery process but rarely deliver substantial results, leading to a cycle of repeated relapses.

    Manipulation and Exploitation: Behind the façade of a compassionate approach to healing, the gambling recovery industry preys on vulnerable individuals, making empty promises while exploiting their trust. Rehab centers offer exorbitantly priced packages that often leave individuals financially crippled, exacerbating their vulnerability. These centers capitalize on the desperation of gamblers and their families, pushing them to invest their life savings in the hopes of a miraculous recovery. In reality, the focus primarily lies in enriching the recovery center rather than providing effective solutions.

    Lack of Regulation and Accountability:

    One of the significant issues surrounding gambling recovery programs is the absence of stringent regulations. This lack of oversight allows unethical practices to thrive while simultaneously inhibiting the identification and elimination of fraudulent institutions. Without proper regulation, the industry becomes a fertile ground for exploitation, with no repercussions for those who take advantage of the vulnerable. Consequently, individuals seeking genuine assistance are left at the mercy of unscrupulous operators, exacerbating their struggles.

    Inadequate Counseling and Therapeutic Approaches:

    While the gambling recovery industry may claim to offer comprehensive counseling and therapeutic approaches, in reality, the quality of such services remains subpart. Many centers employ under qualified staff members with minimal expertise in gambling addiction treatment. The absence of professionally trained therapists compromises the recovery process, hindering individuals from attaining true rehabilitation. Counseling sessions lack depth, often failing to address the underlying psychological issues that contribute to addiction.

    Eternal Dependence on Gambling Recovery Programs:

    By fostering a culture of dependency, gambling recovery institutions ensure a never-ending clientele, perpetuating the need for their services. They discourage self-recovery, advocating for long-term commitments to their programs as the only path to redemption. Consequently, individuals find themselves trapped within a system wherein their addiction is perpetuated rather than truly resolved. These institutions profit from the continued financial support of their clients, extending the duration of recovery programs unnecessarily.

    Despite the enticing promises of gambling recovery programs, they often serve as mere smoke screens for fraudulent intentions. Preying on the vulnerable and desperate, these establishments exploit the desperation of their clients and exhibit a severe lack of ethical accountability. By exposing the truth behind the illusory redemption offered by gambling recovery programs, society can make an informed choice, advocating for stricter regulations and pushing towards genuine solutions to combat this compelling issue. Only by shedding light on the manipulative tactics and fostering a conservative creative approach can we pave the way for true recovery, free from the clutches of deceitful practices.

    To help me on my journey, I sought support from my family and friends. They had seen me at my lowest point and were desperate to see me break free from the clutches of this addiction. With their encouragement, I enrolled in therapy sessions specifically tailored to help individuals overcome gambling addiction. In therapy, I discovered the root causes behind my addiction. It wasn’t just about the adrenaline rush or the allure of quick money; it was also about the escape it provided from the stresses of everyday life. Gambling became my coping mechanism, my way of numbing the pain and avoiding reality. But now, armed with this understanding, I was determined to find healthier ways to deal with my emotions.I started to fill my free time with new hobbies and activities that brought joy and fulfillment into my life. I took up painting, allowing my creative side to flourish. I joined a local theater group, giving me an outlet to express myself and connect with others. These newfound passions provided a sense of purpose and a healthy distraction from the allure of the casino.As the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months, I started to notice a profound change within myself. I was no longer consumed by the urge to gamble. Instead, I found solace in the simple pleasures of life — a walk in the park, a good book, quality time spent with loved ones. It was in these moments that I realized all the opportunities I had missed out on while chasing the elusive high of a winning bet.

    Today, I stand strong and resolute in my decision to quit gambling. It has not been an easy journey, but it has been a necessary one. I have learned the importance of self-reflection, self-control, and the power of seeking support from others.

    My past addiction will always be a part of my story, but it will no longer define me. In conclusion, quitting gambling has opened my eyes to a world of possibilities. I am no longer shackled by the burden of my addiction, and instead, I am free to explore all that life has to offer.

    I encourage anyone struggling with gambling addiction to seek help, for it is only through self-awareness and determination that we can break free from its grip. Today marks the day where I take back control of my life, and I am excited for the bright future that lies ahead. Don’t trust everything you read about gambling recovery side’s. Trust your partner and your family. They are there because they love you always.

  • The Cautionary Tale: Gambling’s Grip on the Human Psyche

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    In a world where high-stake casinos and online gambling platforms beckon individuals with promises of instant wealth, it is no surprise that the allure of gambling has captivated the hearts and minds of many. However, beneath the flashing lights and whimsical charm lies a dark underbelly that reveals the true nature of this activity.

    Recent studies suggest that as many as 1 in 4 people believe they know someone who has experienced problems with gambling. This alarming statistic serves as a stark reminder of the dangers that can accompany the thrill of gambling. Through a conservative lens, we delve into the various aspects surrounding this issue, exploring the potential consequences of allowing gambling to consume one’s life.

    Gambling holds a unique sway over the human psyche. It tantalizes with the illusion of winning big and experiencing a life of luxury, captivating all who dare to partake. The proliferation of online gambling platforms and easily accessible casinos only exacerbates this temptation. Individuals find themselves drawn into the bright lights, infectious sounds of slot machines, and the sweet whispers of chance. The initial excitement turns into obsession as the desire for quick fortunes consumes their thoughts, leading to devastating consequences.

    Behind the glamour of high-stake winnings lies a much darker reality, as one in four individuals bear witness to the havoc wreaked by gambling addiction. Families torn apart, financial ruin, and psychological turmoil are just a few of the demons that haunt those who succumb to the allure. Partners are betrayed, children suffer the consequences, and once-strong relationships crumble under the weight of lies and deceit. The untold stories go beyond the mere statistic, silently replaying the horrors of an addiction that holds individuals firmly in its grip.

    Gambling often serves as an escape from the harsh realities of life. Within the casino walls, problems seem to evaporate, replaced by the momentary thrill of winning or the adrenaline rush of near misses. It provides individuals with an illusion of control, a fleeting sense of power over their own destiny. This form of escapism becomes addictive, gradually stripping away one’s ability to confront and solve life’s challenges. Solitude and introspection give way to a perpetual cycle of reckless gambling.

    What begins as a pleasurable pastime can rapidly spiral into desperation. As financial resources deplete, gambling addicts are forced to employ drastic measures to fuel their habit. Credit cards are maxed out, loans are taken, and even criminal activities may be pursued to satisfy the insatiable thirst for more. Once they enter this downward spiral, getting out becomes increasingly difficult. The very act of chasing losses perpetuates the cycle, leaving individuals trapped in a living nightmare.

    Though the tendrils of gambling addiction run deep, there is hope for those caught within its grasp. Support networks, counseling, and treatment centers offer a lifeline, providing a platform for individuals to rebuild their lives. Stepping away from the enigmatic allure of gambling requires strength, perseverance, and a commitment to self-improvement. Only by acknowledging the problem and seeking help can individuals hope to regain control over their lives and free themselves from the clutches of addiction.

    The statistic revealing that 1 in 4 people believe they know someone who has experienced issues with gambling paints a harrowing picture of the pervasive grasp this activity has on society. Despite the conservative approach, it is crucial to acknowledge the creativity and resilience individuals can employ to rise above the dangers of gambling addiction. By shedding light on the various aspects of this issue, we can generate awareness and propel dialogue, fostering a society that values the well-being of individuals over the allure of instant wealth.

    It is now time for you to step out into who God wants you to be and I am on this journey to guide you on your road to recovery. God has a great purpose for your life and now is the time to discover those buried talents that He has blessed you with.  

    Win or lose in gambling but a life anchored in Christ is a definite win.

    Gambling ruined 4 years of my life.  However my recovery has been slow and I am still learning more about my real true self every day. For this purpose, I have developed a platform, https://gambling-addictions.com/, where you can find sincere advice from ex-addicts and also share your story to reach out for help. 

  • The Path to Redemption: How I Regained Control of My Gambling Habits

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    Gambling, with all its enticement and thrill, can easily become a slippery slope. In the beginning, it was a harmless pastime—a way to escape the monotony of life and seek a fleeting sense of excitement. However, as the allure of fast money gripped me, I found myself trapped in its clutches, losing not just my hard-earned savings but also my self-control.

    This is the tale of my journey, my struggle, and ultimately, my redemption, as I regained control of my gambling habits.

    Like many others, I succumbed to the dazzling world of gambling through an innocent visit to a local casino. The atmosphere, the twinkling lights, and the sound of slot machines beckoned me to try my luck. In those early days, my bets were modest, serving as mere entertainment. However, the addictive nature of gambling soon gripped me tight, captivating my senses with its promises of untold wealth.

    Soon, gambling went from being a harmless escape to an all-consuming habit. The casinos became my second home, and my life seemed to revolve around the spin of a wheel or the flip of a card. I started gambling recklessly, betting larger sums in a desperate attempt to recoup my losses. And as the hole I found myself in grew deeper, I began to realize that I had lost control of both my finances and my life.

    Rock bottom arrived unceremoniously one bleak morning when I awoke to an empty bank account and a stack of unpaid bills. It was at this moment that I realized the true extent of my gambling problem. The desperation and defeat that engulfed me could no longer be ignored. It was time to take control of my life and face my addiction head-on.

    Recognizing the need for professional help, I sought out support groups and counseling services specialized in addressing gambling addictions. The camaraderie and collective understanding I found within these groups were instrumental in my recovery. Sharing stories, strategies, and personal triumphs with individuals who had faced similar battles, instilled within me a newfound hope and determination.

    Understanding the triggers that led me to gamble was pivotal. I discovered that boredom, stress, and feelings of inadequacy served as catalysts for my addictive behavior. Armed with this knowledge, I began to develop healthier coping mechanisms. Engaging in physical activities, pursuing creative hobbies, and cultivating new friendships became my outlets for release, effectively diverting my attention from the previously all-consuming allure of gambling.

    One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was relinquishing control. I accepted that I couldn’t gamble responsibly, and thus, had to eliminate all opportunities for temptation. This meant avoiding places associated with gambling, cutting ties with acquaintances who shared the addiction, and installing internet-blocking software on all my devices. By making these difficult decisions, I was taking charge of my recovery and reclaiming my life.

    Without the thrill of gambling, I realized I had a void to fill. To redirect my energy, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery, exploring new interests and envisioning a future devoid of the shackles of addiction. Volunteering at local charities, attending self-development workshops, and pursuing educational endeavors not only provided me with purpose but also served as a reminder of how far I had come from the depths of despair.

    The road to regaining control over one’s gambling habits is far from easy, but through perseverance, self-reflection, and seeking supportive networks, I was able to redeem myself. It is a journey that continues every day, reminding me of the importance of maintaining vigilance and nurturing a healthier mindset. My story serves as a testament to the power of self-transformation, emphasizing the ability to regain control and live a fulfilling life, free from the grip of addiction.

    Gambling ruined 4 years of my life.  However my recovery has been slow and I am still learning more about my real true self every day. For this purpose, I have developed a platform, https://gambling-addictions.com/, where you can find sincere advice from ex-addicts and also share your story to reach out for help. 

  • The Path to Redemption: Overcoming the Grip of Gambling

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    Gambling has always been an integral part of my life, providing me with excitement, adrenaline rushes, and the illusion of easy money. However, over time, what started as harmless entertainment gradually morphed into an insidious addiction that began permeating every aspect of my being. Realizing the grip it had on me, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery, a quest to replace my gambling habit with healthier alternatives. With a conservative approach and a dash of creativity, I discovered transformative methods to reclaim my life from the clutches of addiction.

    The first step in any journey is recognizing the problem. I acknowledged the devastation gambling had caused in my financial and personal life. I took time to reflect and understand the underlying causes of my addiction, delving deep into my past experiences, relationships, and emotional stability. With a newfound clarity, I chose to confront my demons head-on.

    To overcome addiction, support is indispensable. I confided in my closest friends and family, humbling myself to ask for their assistance. Their empathy and understanding became my guiding light, providing me with the strength required to face the challenges ahead. Together, we explored various avenues to replace my gambling habit.

    I was determined to fill the void left by gambling with activities that brought me joy, purpose, and fulfillment. Rediscovering old hobbies such as painting, writing, and playing musical instruments adorned my days with newfound creativity and self-expression. Engaging in these activities gave me a sense of accomplishment and allowed me to channel my emotions towards constructive endeavors.

    Nature, in all its grandeur, has a way of restoring peace and tranquility to our restless souls. I found solace in immersing myself in the serene beauty of the great outdoors. Clambering up mountains, breathing in the crisp air, and reconnecting with the Earth’s natural wonders empowered me with a renewed sense of wonder and rejuvenation.

    To break free from my gambling habit, I needed to delve into the depths of my subconscious mind. Through introspection and meditation, I unraveled the concealed motivations and triggers that fueled my addictive behavior. This process, daunting yet liberating, enabled me to release negative patterns and find inner peace.

    Surrounding myself with individuals who encouraged personal growth and wellbeing became a priority. I sought friends who shared my interests in self-improvement, spirituality, and wellness. Establishing meaningful connections with like-minded individuals enriched my life and provided steady support, reinforcing my commitment to move away from gambling.

    Recognizing the complexities of addiction, I sought professional guidance from a therapist specializing in gambling addiction. Together, we unraveled the intricate web of thoughts and emotions that fuelled my addiction. Their expertise and guidance equipped me with coping mechanisms, enabling me to reframe harmful thought patterns and replace them with healthier alternatives.

    Repairing my financial situation became an essential part of recovery. I enlisted the help of a financial advisor who guided me through debt management, budgeting techniques, and investment strategies. Slowly but surely, I untangled myself from the financial wreckage caused by gambling, paving the way for a secure future.

    My journey to replace my gambling habit was paved with adversity, resilience, and innovative approaches. Embracing conservative creativity, I found redemption in embracing hobbies, cherishing nature, self-reflecting, nurturing relationships, seeking professional guidance, and getting my finances back on track. Today, I am a transformed individual – escaping the clutches of gambling addiction, reclaiming control of my life, and embracing a brighter, healthier, and more fulfilling future.

  • A Plummet into Darkness: Gambling and Mental Health

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    In the glittering heart of Las Vegas, a city adored as the epitome of fortune-seekers and dream-chasers, lies a sinister underbelly often obscured by the allure of neon lights and the cacophony of jingling slot machines. Behind the gleaming facade of the city’s opulent casinos, a destructive dance between gambling and mental health silently unfolds. This tale delves into the depths of that relationship, exploring different aspects and shedding light on the innovative and creative efforts that can help curb this devastating synergy. Part 1: The Temptation

    Meet Daniel, a charismatic young man with a passion for numbers and a breath-taking ability to analyze risks. Gambling was just a hobby at first, an occasional trip to the casino with friends. However, enchanting nights spent in the company of adrenaline-fueled highs slowly transformed into an addiction. Daniel’s appetite for thrills and quick money drove him further and further into the world of online gambling, where the temptation was constant and accessible at the click of a button.

    Part 2: The Slippery Slope

    As Daniel’s fascination with gambling grew, so did the impact on his mental health. The initial excitement slowly transformed into a constant state of anxiety. Every win was temporary, increasing the insatiable hunger to “catch the dragon”once again. The losses, on the other hand, amplified feelings of despair and shame, fueling self-loathing and spiraling him into the depths of addiction.

    Part 3: Consequences

    Unveiled The effects of Daniel’s gambling addiction reverberated through his relationships, career, and overall well-being. His once-thriving social circle thinned as friends could no longer tolerate his unreliable behavior and mounting debts. Sleepless nights became the norm, as his mind raced with thoughts of recovering his losses and escaping the clutches of addiction. The once-promising career Daniel had meticulously built began to crumble amidst missed deadlines and deteriorating performance.

    Part 4: Breaking the Silence

    Desperate for a way out, Daniel decided to confront his demons. Recognizing that gambling had become more than a financial burden, he reached out for professional help. This pivotal decision opened the door to innovative mental health programs that address the specific needs of gambling addicts. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) became his lifeline, helping him identify and alter negative thought patterns and behaviors. Equipped with newfound strategies, Daniel began to rebuild his life.

    Part 5: Channeling Creativity

    Embracing his passion for numbers once again, Daniel recognized that channelling his creativity into more positive endeavors could serve as a sustainable outlet for his addictive tendencies. He started a blog, analyzing the intricacies of gambling statistics and sharing responsible gambling tips with others. Through this innovative approach, Daniel discovered solace in helping those who strayed into the intricate web of gambling and mental health.

    Part 6: Empowering Change

    Inspired by his transformative journey, Daniel teamed up with mental health advocates, scholars, and casino industry regulators to bring about systemic changes. They began advocating for stricter regulations, encouraging casinos to adopt responsible gambling measures such as self-exclusion programs and resource centers. With a shared vision of a world where the joy of gambling does not come at the cost of mental health, the team sought to create innovative platforms that promote mindfulness and self-awareness.Conclusion:The story of Daniel serves as a poignant reminder of the intricate relationship between gambling and mental health. It highlights the devastating consequences that addiction can have on individuals, their relationships, and their overall well-being. However, through innovative mental health programs, the power of creative self-expression, and a commitment to advocacy, society has the potential to mitigate the harmful effects of gambling, fostering a community where luck does not come at the expense of mental health.

  • WHY I CAN’T STOP LYING

    WHY I CAN’T STOP LYING

    “I am not upset that you lied to me; I am upset that from now on I can never believe you”-

    Friedrich Nietzsche

    After being more than 2 years free from gambling activities, I noticed that I still have a huge problem with lying to my partner. It became a habit and somehow I can’t stop lying to my partner. Someone once said to me that for as long as you lied to your partner, expect them not to believe you for the same time after you stop lying. It will hurt when they question you when you are telling the truth, you will be surprised because you never even thought to lie.

    This advice helped me to think that did I achieve anything worthwhile by lying or cheating. I started thinking that what I am hiding from her? Why I am so insecure? Why my self-respect is at rock bottom? Why I am addicted to lying? Sooner I realized that lying is like a slippery dangerous slope with nothing good at the bottom but misery and empty life.

    We all lie in different situations in our lives. We all have our reasons for lying, it may be to escape punishment in our childhood. When we grow up, we lie to get attention or sympathies and some even create stories to set friends against each other or get others in trouble. It is an expression of being afraid, what others will think, afraid of facing the reality. We want to show people that we are better than others and reflect the weakness of our character. This could be the result of low self-esteem, fear of rejection, desire to please, or any other nuanced reasons. A liar justifies or makes stories to cover up something he has done wrong. To cover the first lie, another lie is required and this leads to an endless chain of lies. I had no idea about my case, why I was manipulating different situations to lie with my partner. Sooner I realized that I am a habitual liar, I tried to discover the root of my behavior, why I am doing and what I am avoiding. I thought that if I want to spend the rest of my life with my partner, I must avoid this habit of lying to restore the level of trust in our relationship. 

    If you are constantly lying to your dear ones and you are not able to do anything about it, then you don’t want to change. You cannot change what has developed in you for years. If someone matters to you in your life then you have to be truthful or else you will end up losing not only that person but your importance, your respect and the likeness you were trying to create will go away in a moment and will never come back. All the lies which are still covered can come crashing down on your head at any time. You will live in constant fear of the truth being discovered and expose you which creates a bad effect on your nerves. Stop living in dream world with a fake identity. Get out of your unreal world and start living in present rather than the past or future.

    A person who often tells fibs will never have trustworthy friends and will not be loved by anyone. Life is not only judged by a rich lifestyle, fluent language ability, or branded clothes. It is measured by the number of faces who simile when they hear your name. Analyze your life and try to find how it has impacted your life and others around you. Somewhere or somehow it has broken a lot of innocent hearts or brought tears to the eyes of your loved ones. Do you think you feel happy about it?

    How To Stop Lying?

    Start thinking, why you want to quit lying, think about the bad things associated with being a liar. I am not an expert by any means but you must ask yourself why you are lying? Why are you not comfortable with the truth? Learn to appreciate things you have in life and be satisfied with your family, friends, and your surroundings. But what makes sense to me is that instead of trying “not to lie anymore” which is difficult to achieve in one day, try to focus on making little but sturdy progress. Think to yourself why you’re lying? Why are you not comfortable with the truth? Is it because you are not confident? Or on the other hand you fear reality?

    You can’t change the past, the past is immutable. But as long as you understand that the time of yore was something that you’ve learned, and then it won’t haunt you as much.

    Few imperative things to consider while struggling to come out of this habit:

    • Never give up! People have thrived in breaking the nastiest & most addictive habits, you can do the same!
    • Change is going on in little- often not noticeable steps. Don’t be disheartened if you don’t observe changes immediately, YOU ARE CHANGING!
    • There will be setbacks. There is no way to accomplish a goal without failing on the way. Remember: failing doesn’t mean to stop struggling and starting all over again; you rewired your brain by fighting your habit & it will become easier & easier until it will go away!

    Like other habits, you don’t want to fix the awful habit, you want to reinstate with a good habit. That good habit is the truth. Truth is freedom, truth is real, not fake. Don’t let the old practice of lies keep telling you the big lie – that lying is OK and won’t harm you. Every lie is like a bullet hit in the heart of your honor. It’s one more rope around your neck that can choke you and pull you down a road of despair. Embrace truth with all its consequences, and never look back.

    People are faulty, people misspeak, and people need to correct themselves all the time. There is a higher probability that your family and friends will much more easily forgive and forget a lie that is corrected seconds after it’s spoken than one that is left to stand. 

     If someone asks you a question and you don’t want to tell them the truth, just refuse to answer. This may not be the best solution in all situations, especially if the person who is asking the question is depending on the answer, but it works for many. If someone asks about something personal or just needs a detailed answer it’s fine to say, “I’d rather not talk about that,” or, “I’d prefer not to say anything about it,” More often, if you explain that it is something personal, people who know you better will not force you to explain. If they insist and push the issue you can use the same answers as one of the above, “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

    Sometimes you’ll mess up, someone will mention a lie you told a while ago. The best thing in such a situation is to admit the truth, apologize for what you’ve said, and tell them you’re working towards becoming a more honest person.

    Let yourself become someone new. In your life, you’ve lied a lot, and if someone called you a liar, they wouldn’t be wrong, but actually, it hurts. Always accentuate to be the person you want to be, emphasize truthfulness. Every time you lie by reflex and have to correct yourself, don’t feel ashamed, only focus on the correction and not the lie. The correction is a sign of improvement that shows that you are getting better. As time goes on you’ll find you’re correcting yourself less and one day you’ll realize, you haven’t lied in over a week. Eventually, you’ll hardly ever feel the urge to lie, and when you do have that urge you’ll have the emotional tools to deal with it.

      Truth does set us free because with truth there’s nothing left to conceal, no more wild stories to keep track of. Truth facilitates us to pursue real dreams, gain success in our lives, and accomplish things that will make us feel unbelievably good and happy about ourselves, instead of empty and disgraced.

     In my opinion, stop lying to your loved one is the greatest and most significant decision you will make in your life. It’s seriously important stuff and will redirect your life like nothing else. 

    The past is always there in the background, you can’t change any part from that period, just learn to ignore it. It won’t bother you if you keep yourself focused on the present and the upcoming future. As you know that the past was something that you’ve learned and will never repeat such mistakes then it won’t haunt you as much.

    Telling people the truth is one of the best things you can do. They might be despondent, yet they will see the value in the way that you conceded your bad behaviors and told them the truth. People you love may leave you and never trust you, it’s never too late, realize it that is how humans are programmed to be.

  • Gambling’s impact on families 

    Gambling’s impact on families 

    Statistics say that 80% of Americans have tried gambling and 5% of those players will end up with a gambling addiction. The problem with statistics is you don’t know what it’s telling you. For me its’ just a number. It’s always only a partial representation of the thing you are trying to understand. I do not want to bore you with statistics, but I would like to inform you that those numbers are way higher. All those families are affected by problem gambling. 

    We still know very little regarding the coping strategies that family members employ in order to mitigate the harms caused by a loved one’s gambling.Family members also experienced psychological barriers to help seeking, often feeling too overwhelmed by other things to seek support and help.Family members of loved ones who gamble have valuable and insightful things to say yet their voices are rarely heard. Family members must also be encouraged to attend support groups, financial counseling.

    Compulsive gambling is a major public health problem.Those with an addiction to gambling will not always have financial problems. While gambling can cause a player to lose their money, it’s not the gambling addiction definition.Gamblers aren’t even playing for the money. They play because it boosts endorphins in the brain which alleviates stress. Gambling is an obsession and the anticipation is as important to the compulsive gambler as the win is.

    Gamblers are masters at blaming external circumstances and other people for their troubles. I still do that often.Blaming others is one way to avoid taking responsibilities for my actions. 

    If you’re living with a compulsive gambler, you’re already familiar with the never-ending cycle of lies.You should never take the blame for their troubles. However, you can encourage them to seek help, support them in their efforts, protect yourself. Remember that you are victim of gambling addiction as well. Feeling like a victim is a natural result.

     I heard that people are saying that “He is not in a relationship with you, he is in a relationship with gambling”.  I wouldn’t quite put it that way myself. I agree there is very little being given to you by gambling addict at this point, and relationships are as much about giving as about taking.   The ultimate question is … do you really love him and does being with him make you happy.

    The road back to recovery isn’t easy, but staying isn’t easy either. It will take time for the wounds created and compounded by compulsive gambling to heal.

    Gambling ruined my life, and I was not the only one to suffer. There are hundreds of such people out there who have gone through the same trouble. My mission is to help them share their story so that they may get help in time.

    Visit my website, https://gambling-addictions.com/ and share your story of recovery and be the motivation for thousands who fell prey to this addiction.

  • Letter to Money

    Letter to Money

    I started an experiment at the beginning of this year where I wanted to listen to at least one book every month.

    So far I’ve listened 3  books in 2021.When I started my audiobook adventure this January, I didn’t have any high expectations. But one day I discovered interesting  audiobook called “You are a badass at making money”. Its a book about how our relationship with money can cause a lot of stress and affect our mental well being. In her bestseller “You are a badass at making money”, Jen Sincero suggests writing a letter to your money. Here’s mine.

    Hey money, my old friend!

    Hope you remember me? I mean, how wouldn’t you? I treated you in the worst way possible. You know what I am talking about, right? Not that you are human… You are just a piece of paper, but you have always been important to me.

    I know I sound like a maniac, just like I was back in days when gambling was an addiction. I thought I was trying to win you over every time I entered the red area, famous as “the zone” in my old circle. Yet, amidst all the bets and deals, I didn’t realize I lost you in piles more than I earned you. 

    If I asked you how to stop, you’d probably force me to start gambling on whether I’d stop gambling…you untrustworthy SNEAK! 

    But now that you are gone, and taken my gambling habits away too, I feel empty. 

    I feel incomplete, and the regrets are crushing my soul.

    No, no! I am not saying I was a Bad gambler, or I didn’t know how to win. To tell you the truth, I was the ‘tiger’ known to the world – a compulsive gambler. What I mean is, people (especially gamblers) begin with the thought of acquiring you. But then gradually, they start losing interest in you.

    Instead, they become addicted to THE PROCESS that leads them to you.

    However, I have realized your significance in this world, and soon they all will as well. Today, I am here to share my current condition and how much I need you. Just the way you need ME because let’s be honest here: without me, you’d be dusty piles of nothing! 

    Right now, I am all alone and empty (just like my wallet). I feel like there is a missing piece in my soul. I miss the sweet touch and feel of having bundles of notes. And my hands and fingers miss the sweet aroma of chemicals that you have. 

    I mean it! My hands smell like the food I never liked. I smell like a brussel sprout. Every time I go to the grocery store and a shopping mall, I look at all the stuff and buy the same-old vegetables. I am surviving on just water and noodles. 

    As much as I loved casinos because they were my only escape – I HATE them to the core now. Why? Because they remind me of you and all that I lost. 

    I avoid going to the malls now, mostly because I am penniless. And partially because of the slots that ate up my life. 

    Do you see what gambling has done to me!? Do you see how it threw me in the middle of the road like a homeless bum? I have nothing. I feel devastated and HELLA guilty for not giving you the importance you deserved. 

    I apologize for taking you for granted. 

    But gambling – it does that to us. In fact, all addicts feel the same. Gambling, or as I like to call it, the dementors, sucked out all my happiness and left me barren. You are the only Patronus charm. I know it!

    Do you know what my friends said?  

    When I told my friends that I would be writing a letter to you, they laughed. 

    I mean, Darwin got laughed at for revolutionary thought, and I get laughed at for writing a letter to you. It’s equally disrespectful but not really surprising, you know.

    You are going crazy! You are losing your plot. You need to relive the life that defines you. You need to get back to gambling! – they said. 

    First of all, gambling does NOT define me. I have passed an era of life wagering: losing too much and winning too little. Yes, I was reckless, but I have promised myself, and I am giving you a promise as well, I will never get back to that track ever again.

    And I think no one in their right mind should! 

    It is strange, and I know what they must be thinking. 

    I used to play with the same people. 

    We went to the group therapy sessions together. 

    They were very close to me. 

    Dammit! They still are.

    Even though we fought over small things, like when poker results didn’t go in our favor. Or when I’d win thrice in a row- you are a cheater, they would say. Well, deep down they knew, I was the champion. 

    Anyway, I don’t feel the adrenaline rush when walking down that memory lane anymore. I have given up on my addiction, and I am trying to discover new and healthy ways to live life. And no matter what option pops up in my mind, it ultimately leads me to the need of having you. 

    Besides, every time I think of getting back to gambling, I desperately look at my wallet… only to find fresh air blowing out of its pockets. Can’t gamble if you don’t have money…

    What can you expect from me once you are back in my life? 

    My family often makes fun of me. They ask me to show them the money in my jar and say, “we’ll double the amount.” They are trying to gamble with a gambler. Luckily for them, doubling zero just gives zero.

    Let’s be clear, I have a terrible equation with my family at the moment. My partners, parents, siblings, and friends all still look at me like an addict. 

    Their obnoxious behavior towards me is justified. I was into bad things – the things based on which I am judged. It is hard to regain the trust that they once had in me before I fall for this glittery charm. I know now and believe “All that glitters is not gold.” And it will take some time to rebuild a healthy relationship with them and with you.

    I want to talk about you again – but in a healthy way this time, unlike before. 

    I want to look after my family with love, honesty, and care, unlike before. 

    Most importantly, I want to take care of my expenses, job, and academics in a healthy way. No matter how much work that would require, I am ready to face the challenges. And I want you to see my sufferings and reward me accordingly. But yes, fill my pockets and don’t abandon me like I did.

    However, every night, I search for jobs that want gambling as a skill. Turns out Obsessive Gambling is NOT a high-paying skill.

     Do you think that’s fair? I am filing a case for our rights! But wait, I need you for that.

    Well, gambling had one positive impact on my life, and that is, it made me learn your importance in everyday life. As much as I curse myself for getting into betting in the first place, I would always be thankful to it for helping me to find my way out of it. 

    Now that I am done penning this down for you, I will go and pray to God to help me recover financially just the way He did when I was broken, mentally. 

    Let’s catch up soon. 


    Your friend & boss, 

    Uri

    Share Your Story!

    Gambling is not a foul play, and to some extent, it is socially acceptable. But gambling addiction is a whole different story. If you think you can manage it and leave it untreated, gambling addiction will get to you eventually. It affects your friends, family and even your relationships. When I got out of it, I promised myself to share the stories of addicts so that they may get help and never feel hopeless again.

    Visit my website, https://gambling-addictions.com/ and share your story to get help in time.

  • Activities A Gambling Addict Can Do In Recovery

    Activities A Gambling Addict Can Do In Recovery

    Gambling addiction often starts as a fun activity, and it can be adopted by anyone from any class and line of work. You start it as a form of entertainment, but it begins to root in your mind, and soon you find yourself addicted to it. Gambling addiction is just like any other form of addiction because you will crave to gamble just like you crave in drug addiction or alcohol addiction. At some point, you will find it hard to control your urges for gambling and think that there isn’t anything you can do to stop it, but there are many ways to overcome this obsession. First of all, you need to admit the issue and lookout for signs that may have caused this addiction in the first place.

    • Gambling addiction is often adopted to avoid family issues, to seek freedom from anxiety, loneliness, and guilt. 
    • Thoughts of becoming rich overnight and making lots of money without real effort.
    • Urges to gamble at least once in a week and feeling annoyed when trying to stop gambling practice.
    • Gamble with high stakes to get more significant rewards to achieve thrill & excitement.
    • Do not care about family, friends, and managing jobs or work hours to gamble.
    • Always lying to family and friends to conceal your habit of gambling.

    Once you discover your trigger points, it will be easier to recover from gambling addiction. You may have to come up with a better alternative to limit your time for gambling. Finding festive activities for problem gamblers is very important to help ease their recovery procedure. A gambler can adopt many healthy alternatives to take away his mind from the shining lights of casinos. I will be covering some of these healthy and entertaining activities in this article that might help you if you are a problem gambler.

    I was looking for healthy activities and after thinking hard, I decided to have a dog. I knew that I have to be very responsible with my new friend. I wanted a small, active dog so that I would be forced to get out and be active too. Best thing I ever did. I named her Coco and she is just one of those dogs where when I look into his eyes, I know exactly what she’s thinking. Sometimes the way she looks at me, I can tell Coco having real human thoughts in her tiny, little brain. I noticed that she’s perfect for my new healthy activity. People who have been gamble free a long time say the urges lessen and they definitely have for me – but they are still there. For me having a dog, helped me a lot with gambling urges.

    I will list some healthy activities down below.

    Healthy Activities for Problem Gamblers

    Distracting yourself during cravings for gambling is a great way to with your addiction, but to continually improving your condition, you will need to find better alternatives to gambling. You can shift your focus from bad habits towards healthier and more beneficial habits by staying positive and replacing gambling triggers with positive activities. Some alternatives can be,

    1. Physical Activity:

    It’s a good start because by staying active and working out daily, you won’t be having enough time to gamble away your money. This not only helps with your addiction but will always make you sharp and physically healthy. You can,

    • Go for walks
    • Join a gym
    • Start yoga classes
    • Meditate
    • Do team sports

    2. Spend Time With Family & Friends:

    Spending time with your loved ones and friends will make your problems go away and keep in check your anxiety levels. You don’t need to find an escape in gambling anymore. If you dedicate some time from your weekly routine to family & friends, it will surely help you with your addiction.

    • Plan a picnic
    • Go for a movie 
    • Nigh out with friends at some decent place
    • Spend time with your children

    3. Volunteer Work:

    Helping someone voluntarily will satisfy your heart and keep you away from bad distractions. You can do volunteer work for charitable organizations to utilize your free time. 

    4. Travelling:

    It opens your mind and takes away all your anxieties, stresses, and loneliness. Travelling is a great way to deal with gambling addiction as it is a positive addiction in itself. Moving to new places and meeting with new peoples allows you to communicate well and forget your sorrows and problems. Please don’t waste your money on gambling; Explore the world instead.

    Gambling is just like any other form of behavioral addiction, and it is vital to find suitable alternatives for problem gamblers to replace the addiction with healthier habits. With the passage of time, gamblers often neglect other interests in life as they get their dose of excitement from gambling. So, if you’re planning to quit gambling, you will have to find your excitement somewhere else. The best to do it is a 3-step approach that I suggest all the gamblers should follow.

    1. Admit Your Addiction
    2. Look for Trigger Points
    3. Replace the Triggers with Healthier Alternatives 

    Takeaway 

    In addition to problem gamblers, some addicts consider gambling as a source of entertainment. These people remain in denial of their addiction until it is too late for them to develop an alternative course of action. If you’re a problem gambler or addicts who consider gambling as a fun activity, I will advise you to quit gambling while you have the chance and develop healthier alternative habits to cope with the issue. Once gambling takes hold of you, it will become difficult for you to quit. 

    For this purpose, I have developed a platform, https://gambling-addictions.com/, where you can find sincere advice from ex-addicts and also share your story to reach out for help. 

  • Part Two: My Partner is a Gambler

    Part Two: My Partner is a Gambler

    Written by my fiancé

    My fiancé agreed to write about how finding out about my addiction was for her. I think this is the only proper and honest way my readers can have the full picture on how a life of a family gets ruined by a gambling addiction. This is her side of our story, the second part:

    Part Two:

    I have two Master Degrees in design and up until now I have considered myself well educated. Yet I knew nothing about addictions and gambling. No one from my family had that problem. I felt so angry that all the schools that I finished didn’t teach me anything about dealing with mental illnesses and “earthquakes” in life that shake and ruin all we thought we knew so well.

    Giving Uri two weeks to move out put additional pressure on me. I had no idea how to deal with problems I was facing. The love of my life, my fiancé, the future dad of my kids, was so terribly ill and I was kicking him out, cause I didn’t know what to do. I was absolutely sure he didn’t love me and that I failed as a partner, cause he chose to hide his problems from me.

    Is gambling really an illness or just a sign of weak character? If he broke the leg, would I cancel the IVF and tell him to move out? What is compulsive gambling? Is it curable? Why was the doctor from IVF clinic telling me that gambling is not a big deal? Why was she telling me that I should support him in his recovery? Why didn’t she see his illness as a big deal? I was so confused.

    I told my sister about Uri’s secret. She got so mad and upset, saying he should be happy we didn’t live in the same city. She hated him from the bottom of her heart.

    I felt so ashamed. All my life I was living respecting everyone and everything, following all the rules. Getting drunk was still something I have never experienced, because I just never liked the taste of alcohol and dizziness I would feel. I have never broken any rule and have never taken any risky move, especially not financially. Now being with Uri felt as if he is doing all I never wanted to experience.

    The first week, after I found out, was extremely hard for me. I felt unbearable anxiety because I told him to move out, yet I didn’t know a thing about a gambling addiction. I decided to contact 3 psychologists an hear what they have to say. The first one screamed, saying that I should leave him immediately and consider getting back in touch after a year, when he potentially solved his issues. She said that the gambling addiction is one of the hardest, cause addicts don’t feel any consequences on their body, as they would with alcohol or narcotics, so that their bodies cannot benefit from getting rid of toxins. The doctor said it will be extremely hard for me to live with him because of all the mood changes and that I don’t need that in my life. I am young and can find someone who will be better for me. I cried so much after meeting that doctor and have decided I will never contact her again, cause her approach was too radical and not something I wanted to hear.

    The second and third psychologists had the same view on the matter. They said it’s a disease and should be treated as such. It’s not something you can see, feel or touch, but is something that can be worked on with proper therapy. They said no one knows if it will be cured and to what extend, but everything is possible. They have also said that it is amazing he admitted it and is willing to go to therapies, cause that’s a huge step that many gamblers don’t take. They told me to take one step at a time and that he doesn’t need to move out until I make up my mind and make decisions about how I want to proceed.

    I told Uri I don’t want him to move out yet and that I need more time to think. That immediately lowered my anxiety and gave me piece. Now I “just” needed to figure out how I wanted to proceed which became one of the hardest tasks in my life..

    Unfortunately, right after that shocking event, COVID 19 pandemic started, over which Uri lost his job, since the restaurants closed down. Even if I decided I didn’t want to continue the relationship with him (which I didn’t), we couldn’t separate, cause our families lived in other countries, borders were closed and people stopped seeing each other because of the lockdowns. We decided to keep on living together until we feel more stable and back to some kind of normal.

    Fast forward to 6 months from when I found out about his illness… I learned so much about the addictions, because that was the only way I could help both me and him. To this day it’s not clear for me if we will have future together and if we are good for each other. I still didn’t make decision if I wanted a relationship with him. It seems impossible because of all the fears and questions I have, but that I don’t have an answer to. We are still living together, but as roommates. For some reason, he is so angry at me, because he thinks I didn’t support him enough. I gave my best, but all the expectations I had regarding his recovery both mental and financial made it so hard for both of us. He constantly felt as if he is not good enough for me and I felt completely neglected and alone. I couldn’t understand why he stopped kissing and hugging me. Psychologist, that I kept on seeing all these moths told me that I have to initiate close contact, because he must feel as if he completely lost his identity by revealing his secrets and that he is absolutely insecure. However, I thought that our relationship became one sided as he didn’t put any effort and didn’t care about my feelings at all. He didn’t make any financial recovery plan that would give me some understanding on how our future might look like and how much he would be able to provide monthly. E.g. what if we decided to proceed with IVF treatment, who would be paying for it, how would he be able to support our potential baby? To this day all those questions remained unanswered and are making me feel very uncertain about his abilities to take care of me, his family and of his love for me. If he loved me and if he cared for me, wouldn’t he first make sure I am feeling safe and not this much in dark about his plans and future?

    I am trying to understand him, to help and support him as much as I can, but at the same time I shifted my focus from him to me. All that I tried to do, all the numbers I called, all the information I gathered feels to me was waisted. I am sure he will do all that is necessary, but in his own pace, not mine. We are not the same and it was wrong from me to expect he will fix his problem as I would.

    All I can do now is to hope and pray he will manage to fight his demons and will come out of it stronger than he ever was. In the meantime I will focus on myself and take necessary steps that will improve my life.

    Advice for gamblers:
    I know you are going through so much, I really do. There are so many new things that you have to do, like group therapies, talking to psychologists, dealing with all new emotions that come with facing with addiction… However, try to make some room for your loved ones. They are going through equally hard times. Their lives have changed dramatically too. Maybe you’re not good conversationist, but that shouldn’t stop you trying to talk to your family. Tell them how you feel every day, so that they would be able to understand you better. Don’t let them make assumptions about anything, but talk, talk, talk and I promise you, the more you try the better you will become. It’s not about the perfection, it’s about the progress. Your loved ones deserve to know everything, because they too have just one life that they are trying to live as best as they can. We all should respect time we are all spending together and dreams the others are having. Be open and honest, so that your family can fight this together with you, with the right information. You’re in this together!

    I wish you all the strength to fight this disease. Never doubt your worth or intelligence! You are amazing and can do this for sure!

    Advice for affected family:
    Two most important things I learned:

    1. Gambling addiction is not your fault!
    2. You need to focus on yourself!
    3. Fins a good therapist that will help you go though rough times

    All you can really do for your partner/loved one is to help him/her find the therapy s/he deserves to have, give advices what you think should be done and try to understand that addiction is a disease. Unfortunately, all the hard work addicts need to do, not you. Maybe it will be so clear from the beginning that you won’t leave your partner no matter what and that is great. I wish it was clear for me from the beginning, but it really wasn’t. If you feel similar to how I felt – absoluthy lost and not sure how to continue living with the addict, here is what I have to say:

    You will probably feel ashamed for what is happening to you, you will probably loose some friends because they won’t meet your expectations, or they won’t know how to approach you, as it always happens when we need fiends the most. You will also learn who your true friends are (many friendships will become stronger) and all of this is ok. This experience will teach you so much about life. You will realize what really matters, what your priorities are and how you want to live your life. You will probably spend a lot of time crying, thinking, wondering why it had to happened to you, maybe you will start taking things personally and as if Universe has something against you, but that phase won’t last too long. You just need to give yourself time to heal and to really listen to your hart and what it wants. Only when you follow what you really feel and desire, only then you’ll be able to find piece within yourself. You’re not obligated to stay with the addict and you should never fell like you abandoned her/him if you decide to leave. You have just one life that you need to live to the fullest. You should never think of things that don’t go according to your plans as mistakes, but as valuable lessons. Take time to make decisions as I am doing right now. I will still wait until I know exactly what I want to do.

    I wish you all the best!

  • Why Gambling Is The Worse Form Of Addiction?

    Why Gambling Is The Worse Form Of Addiction?

    There could be thousands of reasons why people adopt gambling, and even psychologists don’t know why people gamble? It started as fun for some persons, and for some, it was meant to escape their sorrows. But in the end, the result was always the same; Gambling Stops Being a Diversion and Becomes Addiction. What keeps people stick with it? Why people love this game, which is designed to rob them of their happiness and wealth? Why is gambling the worse form of Addiction?

    As an ex gambling addict and researcher, I sought to answer these questions, and from what I have learned, gambling is designed with several hooks attached to it. These hooks grab the addict and command his brain to compel the body for gambling. According to an expert,

    Undoubtedly, gambling is an actual brain disease that is quite different from 20 years ago when people thought it as an issue of greed, lack of willpower, and morality. Gambling changes the behavior of brain activities, which explains why people can’t seem to stop.

    Reference: Dr. Timothy Fong, Addiction Expert and Co-Director of UCLA Gambling Studies 

    Why Is Gambling So Addictive?

    It’s common knowledge that when we involve in an activity that keeps us distracted from anxiety and troubles and helps us pass the time, our neurons squirt a chemical known as dopamine that provides us satisfaction and encourages our body to make it a habit. Drug addicts use a similar stimulus to trigger that response and release dopamine forcefully to get satisfactions. With time the brain adapts to these foreign chemicals and needs more significant doses to trigger dopamine or develop tolerance to drugs. In other words, these drugs rob the neurons of their power to induce euphoria, and they become less responsive to their effects. 

    So, the more an addict uses drugs, the harder it becomes for him to stop. Keeping this behavior as a base, the researchers study the habits of pathological gamblers and compulsive addicts. As a result of this research, it was observed that the gambling addicts share many similarities with reward-seeking addicts. Just as drug addicts need a bigger dose with time to stimulate dopamine, the compulsive gamblers take high riskier ventures. 

    Similarly, drug addicts and gamblers share withdrawal symptoms when separated from respected chemicals or thrill to gamble. As an ex-addict, I can assure you it is far worse than drug addiction because physical insertion of foreign elements may cause overdose or tripping point that will set you back and make you realize. But a gambler will always pursue the course until he became a drug addict and wreck his life. Let me rephrase a comment of a fellow gambling addict,

    I started it as a fun and then realized I could not lose money fast enough in any other game. After six months of intense Addiction, I had lost thousands of dollars and went through my home equity line, all of my credit, and also borrowed money from anyone I could. For me, the money was a drug, and gambling was how I got high. 

    Reference: Kelvin Josh, Recovering Gambling Addict

    How Is Body Conditioned for Gambling Habit?

    Have any of you know about Pavlov Conditioning? It was based on the concept that,

    Specific Stimulus Triggers a Specific Response

    The conditioning was discovered by a Russian physiologist named Ivan Pavlov. In his experiments, Pavlov rang a bell every time he fed his pets. This way, he paired the sound of a bell with the arrival of food or food time. After that, the pets adjusted or conditioned them with the bell, and now each time the bell rang, the pets know it’s time to eat. 

    So, what does this have to do with gambling addiction? Recall in the above experiment; the bell was a trigger that served as a cue for pets. Similarly, when a person gambles at regular intervals, he paired himself with the gambling habit. Each time he sees his beloved card game or gambling table, it served as a cue and forced him to gamble just the like the bell cued the pets of food. Such signals served as powerful cravings and frequently resulted in relapse. In such a way, the body is conditioned for gambling, not intentionally but by the repeated response.

    What’s the Remedy?

    Pavlov or classical conditioning may be the cause in the first place, but it can also be the salvation of compulsive addicts. Recall the first example in which Pavlov had conditioned the pets with the sound of a bell. It is observed if one rang the bell many times, the connection can be salvaged. Similarly, if a gambling addict stops using a specific gambling game that he/she preferred above others, it could be the first step to the recovery. 

    But it seems too easy, right? Yes! The withdrawal is not easy, and I can vouch for that, but we have to start somewhere. 

    The Bottom Line

    Gambling addiction is increasing at an alarming rate. It is often described as an out of control habit, and you can quickly locate a gambler if he/she shows the following signs,

    • Obsessive behavior about gambling 
    • Always in need of some extra cash
    • Socially unstable relationships
    • Prone to theft or fraud
    • Feeling irritated or restless

    More effective treatment techniques are needed to counter the devastating effects of gambling. The first step is to talk with others about your Addiction, and this is the hardest step. For this purpose, I have developed a platform, https://gambling-addictions.com/, where you can reach and share your story with fellow addicts and ex-addicts. This way, you can reach out and call for help. I urge you to share your recovery story with me and be a motivation for others. 

  • How To Find Out Your Partner Is Gambling Addict and What Can You Do To Help

    How To Find Out Your Partner Is Gambling Addict and What Can You Do To Help

    A Gambler Is Nothing But a Man Who Makes His Livings Out Of False Hope

    Reference: William Bolitho

    Take it from a person who had experienced the severe effects of gambling addiction- just stay away from this hellish play. It starts as fun, and as you indulge in it further, it becomes a nightmare. There is no easy way out for a gambling addict and mark my words- sooner or later, you’re going to find yourself isolated from everyone and desperately seek for help. It’s not something you can ignore casually because, on later stages, gambling addicts can experience physiological issues along with financial and social impacts.

    Hi! Myself Uri and I am an ex-gambling addict. I know how you feel about this addiction and how you feel proud about your winnings. Been there and felt everything that you’re going through now. At first, it feels like heavens, and as soon it hits you hard, everything changes into hellish nightmares. If you’re an addict and reading out my blog- I will strongly recommend to reach out for help while you still have time. 

    Gambling is inevitable, and no matter what is said or done to advocate or oppose the gambling addiction, it is something that is practised on a larger scale or tacitly endorsed by a substantial majority of individuals for worldly benefits. 

    In this article, I am going to share with you, how you can find out whether your partner is a gambling addict and what can you do for his gambling recovery.

    How To Find Out Your Partner Is a Gambling Addict?

    When you identify an addict, it is usually more difficult to convince him/her about his addiction. First things first, gambling addicts are categorized into two types,

    1. Escape Gamblers: They are tough to catch as most of them don’t even do gambling openly. They seem normal until they reach to the peak point or even near collapsing. 
    1. Action Gamblers: Recognizing an action gambler is easier if you know about his habits. Any particular change in his behaviour can ring your bells. For example, action gamblers love to play poker.

    Without further ado, let’s dig out general ways to find out about someone’s gambling addiction.

    1. Loss Of Interest 

    Saying this from personal experience- A gambling addict loses interest in spending time with others, including his family and friends. If your partner is not showing up for dates lately or ditching dinners and family gatherings, then it’s a cue for you to look into his affairs. I will not be surprised if you find about his addiction because it’s what addicts do. They lost interest in everything other than gambling. He spends more time on making strategies to gamble and making plans to get money for the next gamble.

    2. Promise Unending Lies

    Yes! I did that a lot. I used to promise every day with myself and my loved ones- This is the last time, I am gambling, and after tonight’s game, I am done with this shit. But you know what! This doesn’t work and every single time I was there, back at the gambling table shuffling cards for the next round. So, if your partner is making promises and swearing you- This is the last time, I am doing this. Just don’t fall for his lies anymore.

    3. Often Boast About Becoming Rich

    It’s the most fatal lie a gambling addict tells himself and his loved ones. There was a time in my life when all I thought about was getting rich, and gambling seemed an easy way. Yes! You can get rich, but the cost is too high. If you get a hold of winnings, it will never let you stop, and if you keep losing, it will obliterate you sooner or later. The addiction starts with a hope that something out there can instantly bring everything in your life which you desire, but you end up getting more debts.

    So, if your partner often boasts about big winnings or becoming rich overnight. I recommend having a glance at his expenses. You will soon find an unexpected rise in withdrawals and his gambling addiction.

    4. Tries To Hide at Any Cost

    Gambling sticks with you and you can’t wash it off

    This saying reminds me of the time when I used to slice off time from every hour of the day for just being on a gambling table. I used to look for places as far from home as possible to gamble without fear of being caught in the act. I just feel lucky to recover from the loss in time because someone was always there to care for me.

    Look into the daily routine of your partner. If possible, keep a record of his working hours and if he is spending more time out there, than sadly he is in trouble. Reach out to him and try to understand his condition because you’re the only one who can help him while he still has a chance at recovery.

    Sometimes, while I am on a beautiful morning walk or standing on the peaceful bank of the river, I use to think about that moment of self-realization. I was fortunate to have it early on before it began to have fatal impacts on my relationship, finances and family.

    I first-hand witnessed the devastating effects of gambling, and I must say, Please don’t hate gambling addicts- feel pity for them and help them if possible.

    If you suspect your partner has gambling problems, you are the best chance at his gambling recovery. Firstly, encourage him to get help from professionals and try to convince him of his addiction. You must realize his condition and deal accordingly. You can offer support to your partner and seek professional guidance in the matter. Let’s have a look at ways through which you can support someone troubling with gambling addiction.

    1. Have a Talk

    Addicts feel completely isolated even in the dense crowd. Their minds are filled with a thousand thoughts and remorse. But there is no one to share these thoughts. The best thing you can do at the initial stage of gambling recovery, reach out and have a talk with your partner. Listen to his story and feel his pain. Encourage him for his struggle and share his agony. 

    By mere listening to his torment, you are providing him support to change for a better life. 

    2. Spend Time With Your Partner

    As discussed before, a gambling addict isolates himself from everyone- Ignores his family, his partner and his friends. He would not attend family gatherings anymore and will spend less time with his family. So, your second step should be to slice up your happy hours for him. Start noticing his mode swings and always be there when he needs you.

    Plan a dinner or night out with him and make him appear for outings on time. This practice will substantially reduce his gambling time and keep in check his addiction. It will help your partner’s gambling recovery and make him realize that you care deeply.

    3. Appreciate His Efforts

    Most of the gamblers start with a passion for providing luxury to their loved ones. They want their partners to have everything in life. The thought is not wrong because it is usually born out of care. So, if you want your partner to stay away from gambling, appreciate his little efforts to make you happy. 

    Appreciate his love and support his financial status. Make him realize- he is providing enough, and all you need is, his love. It will encourage him to stay on the path and work hard to achieve something more significant. Appreciation is the easiest way to help in gambling recovery.

    4. Encourage To Join Support Groups

    Support Group featured a rotating cast of characters in various states of tumour-driven unwellness. Why did the cast rotate? A side effect of dying

    Reference: John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

    I have been there; right at the verge of collapsing, but someone came to my aid and encouraged me to think about a better future. Support groups are closed circles in which a gambling addict can speak freely about his mistakes and he can share his feelings openly.

    How foolish was he to think that gambling could make him rich? These groups have sworn secrecy, and the good thing about the sessions is you meet peoples who made the same mistakes. This thing sparks your thoughts and inspires you to make things right in future. It’s the easiest way to gambling recovery, which is proven efficient because it aims to give you a sense of realization.

    Make your partner join these sessions, try to take part with him and listen to his regrets. Encourage him to do well and support him along the way to make his gambling recovery as smooth as possible.

    5. Set Aims for Future

    A gambling addict loses his courage to move forward. Sometimes, suicide is the only option to end the misery as their future seems darkened. Speaking this from experience- There comes, a point in every gambler’s life when all hope is lost, and they feel terrible about their existence. Many end their lives in remorse, and many lost their way to life. Only a few have someone who care, and those are the ones for whom you are going to make yourself better.

    Share Your Story!

    Gambling is not a foul play, and to some extent, it is socially acceptable. But gambling addiction is a whole different story. If you think you can manage it and leave it untreated, gambling addiction will get to you eventually. It affects your friends, family and even your relationships. When I got out of it, I promised myself to share the stories of addicts so that they may get help and never feel hopeless again.

    Visit my website, https://gambling-addictions.com/ and share your story to get help in time.

  • What are the benefits of Group Therapy?

    What are the benefits of Group Therapy?

    According to research by the Scientific American, around 2 million Americans have a gambling addiction. Around 1 in 165 men will experience gambling addiction in their lifetimes compared to 1 in 500 women. An estimated 98% of action gamblers are men. The number of people addicted to gambling is quite significant, and this is an actual and serious condition. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) puts gambling addiction in the same category as substance abuse diagnoses.

    Group therapy is an effective way of overcoming gambling addiction. It may be hard enough for you to ask for help and talk to a single counsellor or therapist, let alone bare your soul to a group of strangers. You may think that you will not be given enough time to discuss your thoughts and ideas or worry about having to share personal information with strangers. The truth is quite the opposite, your group therapy culture can be like that of the wonderful feeling and trust between close friends.

     There are certain benefits to group therapy in overcoming gambling addiction.

    • Being in a group therapy environment means having several other people to support you and help you set and achieve goals toward your gambling addiction recovery. It assures you that you are not alone in this battle.
    • Another member of your group therapy might bring up a challenge with which they are dealing. You might have a similar problem, only you see the problem from your perspective. When looking at other people’s situations, you will be able to see your problem in a new light. Suddenly, something very challenging might have an easy solution.
    • Attending group therapy sessions is a great way to experiment with different helpful behaviors. You can learn new ways of thinking and relate in a safe environment before facing the real world. You will also quickly learn that you are not alone in your feelings and thoughts. Several people likely share your experience.
    • Working with a gambling addiction group is the most natural way to overcome your problem. We work with other people in our jobs and our families. Humans are programmed to learn and grow in the presence of peers. Why should therapy be any different?

    I am a recovering gambling addict myself. I was skeptical of group therapy at first. The idea of baring my soul in front of a room full of strangers terrified me. I would take any excuse not to go. Doing dishes and tidying the house suddenly seemed so much more interesting and appealing. But when I finally did muster up the courage it changed my life. 

    Group therapy really works. It worked for me at least. I was at a difficult point in my life when I decided to get help for my addiction. I was afraid of what was going to happen. Will I be able to overcome my addiction? What will it take? Will I be able to fully recover or will I relapse? These questions haunted me for a long time.

     In group therapy when I saw a room full of people battling the same demons as myself, it gave me hope and confidence. I was not alone, you are not alone. We don’t have to deal with this alone. We can overcome this addiction. Only the first step is hard. It took me quite a while to go but in hindsight, I should have gone sooner. Group therapy is a really helpful and effective way of overcoming gambling addiction. From my personal experience, it is the best way for gambling addiction recovery.

  • Credit Card Ban Could Be The Solution

    Credit Card Ban Could Be The Solution

    Online payments and loans are such an abstract representation of money. You can’t feel money in your hands, but instead, you just see some numbers that most certainly you cannot understand the value of as good as you would with cash.

    Betting online and paying with loaned money didn’t feel real for me. It felt as if it was just an online game without a life changing consequences. It’s funny how even when I would spend a few thousands on a single bet, I would still make sure I was buying the most reasonable priced products in the grocery stores and I wouldn’t be lazy to go an extra mile because of the discounts. It was because I could see, touch, smell and feel what I was spending money on. All my senses were involved in the “physical” purchase.

    Even though credit cards look like any other plastic card in our wallets, it really can change our lives dramatically. You can fall in its trap so easily and it can become one of the biggest supporters of our addictions.

    I started using a credit card when I misunderstood how one furniture store financing worked. The store offered a loan with a promotional introductory rate of 0% APR for the first 12 months. I understood I will get a bill every month, but instead I received a credit card with minus €800 a few days later. Getting the credit card upset me, because at the time I was cautious with my money and I knew those cards have high interest rates. After I paid off the furniture I bought, I left the credit card on a shelf and forgot about it, cause I knew how dangerous it could be.

    When I started to gamble, I was using a debit card. If I would run out of money, my only option was to wait for my next pay day. However, a few months into the addiction, I started to have intense cravings for gambling. Waiting for my next pay day became unnecessarily long and I just couldn’t wait. That is when I rediscovered my long forgotten Credit Card. It was still sitting on the shelf, waiting for some action…

    Gambling addiction is more rampant problem than you might think. It isn’t extraordinary to see millions of people around the globe to start gambling as a one-time experience but soon fall prey to its never-ending loop of winning and losing by chance. While there are many who seek professional help, there are others who go through financial distress, destructive habits and psychological health issues. 

    Major countries like the United States and United Kingdom are taking measures to curb the problem of gambling addiction. One of them is banning the use of credit cards to gamble. A huge chunk of gamblers use their credit cards to bet. But, in reality, that’s the last thing gamblers should think about doing. It may sound quite a convenient option to place bets, but it doesn’t take long for gamblers to be exposed to financial harm.

    Credit card gambling makes people gamble with money that they don’t have. It goes beyond what their pocket allows. Most of these gamblers have whopping amounts of debt on their head because credit cards were easily available and placing bets through them took very little effort. There are also many payday loan websites that offer cheap loans to gamblers. However, they land up losing money more than gaining anything, thereby just accumulating unpayable debts. 

    As such, the ban on placing bets through credit cards is likely to curb problem gambling and protect people from any sort of harm. All offline and online gambling products, except lottery tickets, will be covered under the new measure. Mortgage lenders are also warned by the Gambling Commission in the UK that problem gamblers could remortgage their homes while hiding their addiction pattern. Many charities, financial services and campaigners seem to welcome the ban because this is a measure that will surely minimize the financial risks associated with problem gambling, but also judiciously maintain the integrity of the industry.

    Speaking of credit cards, credit card companies don’t care about our financial wellbeing, just like casinos. I learned that a hard way. I started taking out little sums for my online gambling, and before I knew my card was maxed out. Looking back, using the credit card for online betting, as well as hiding the addiction from my family, were two biggest mistakes I made. I maxed out my credit cards probably 6 times, which I paid by taking loans. It’s a vicious circle that you can hardly get out of.

    Gaming operators have to act in a socially responsible way. Banning the usage of credit cards IS a solution every gambling operator has to apply and the law every country must adopt.

  • Telling to My Fiancé

    Telling to My Fiancé

    My life was amazing. I was working as a chef where the income wasn’t that good, but l managed to make savings and afford almost everything I wanted. I am ambitious and have always wanted to achieve a lot in my personal and professional life. If I had opportunity to study or take extra courses, I took it.

    I had a beautiful fiancé, very independent, highly educated, with a successful career. We were tougher for almost 4 years. Every possible moment we tried to spend together. I couldn’t be more thankful for such a supportive and loving partner, that I truly wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

    We had so many dreams and great plans together. One of them was our own little family. After two years of trying to have a baby, we decided to go for an IVF treatment. Around that time I became a compulsive gambler. All my mood swings she understood as coping with negative pregnancy results that we were facing every month. She never pushed me and tried to understand why I was so down, because she assumed I needed space, as she needed it too. Coping with infertility and negative pregnancy results was extremely hard, especially for her. For me, it was just a continuation of my sorrows that no one knew anything about.

    She didn’t know I owed to the banks more than 40 thousand euros and this pressure was killing me. Although she is such a loving and supportive person, I couldn’t tell her the truth. I was so ashamed and I didn’t want to break the image of a strong, supportive partner that she had of me. I was sure she would leave me, if she knew how weak I was. None of us wants to be seen as weak and we are all used to pretend and keeping our heads high in every difficult situation, even when all we really want is to shout or cry… How well suited are Queen’s lyrics here: “Oh yes, I’m the great pretender, pretending that I’m doing well…”

    I knew the lie was going to destroy her, that all she thought she knew so well will be gone. Trust she had in me will be gone.

    I was looking forward to having a family with my beautiful partner, secretly hoping that when we have a baby, I will stop gambling. I was afraid that we may find ourselves stretched financially, paying for the high cost of IVF treatment with a somewhat limited probability of success, so I started gambling even more, to earn back all I had lost.

    Our IVF was getting closer and she was so exited. Hearing from the doctor that we have to be in a good place emotionally and have our relationship on solid ground before starting an IVF cycle, hit me badly. I wanted to kill myself. I was constantly telling to myself that I can’t I ruin my fiancé’s and unborn baby’s life like this, but at the same time, I was so afraid of her reaction and was sure that it will be end of our relationship. I didn’t want to loose her and all we had. The shame was unbearable. How should I tell her that I have a debt in 7 different banks, that I won’t be able to pay for any scheduled treatment nor anything for the baby next who-knows-how-many years? How should I even start the story? How do you open up and admit the addiction? When would be the best time to tell her?

    Finally, two days before the treatment, I managed tell her. It was on Monday, while she was still at work. The previous day we had a fight, because she was asking me how come the second month in a row I cannot pay my share of the rent, when I have a full-time job. I texted her apologizing for the fight. She still couldn’t understand why I don’t have money out of the sudden and asked me out of the blue if I was gambling. I used the opportunity and told her the truth partially. I admitted that my credit card was maxed out. She just texted me back that we will talk more when she gets back home. I wasn’t man enough to tell her about 50 thousand euros what I owed to different banks. 

    I still remember the look on her face when she arrived home. She was crying, telling me that she was holding back the tears the whole day at work. She was completely broken, and to my surprise, she wasn’t screaming. Instead, she was very supportive and warm. She was hugging me constantly, asking why I didn’t tell her earlier, cause she could maybe help me and we would go trough any shit together. We both were crying a lot that and following few days.

    The very same night she couldn’t sleep, and had woken me up, asking if my credit card was the only debt I had. I couldn’t lie to her anymore, and I told her everything. We spent the entire night talking about how my gambling addiction started and how I ended up taking loans. She remained extremely calm, even though her world collapsed. All her dreams were gone. Baby what we were wishing for such a long time was gone. A man who she thought she knew so well was gone.

    Telling her everything was the best decision I had ever made. No more lies, no more hiding. All the “cards” were opened. Even now when I’m writing this, I feel so sorry for lying to her all these years. I was too afraid and ashamed to reveal the truth, to see her disappointment. I’m such a coward!

    It was much easier to breathe, now that she knew. The pressure I felt and self-blaming were not as hard as before. Finally, the lie was off from my shoulders. Both of us were heart broken. I felt naked and as if I was starting my life anew.

    I can’t imagine the pain she was going through. She didn’t know any gambler and this addiction was something she knew nothing about. Therefore, she started doing the research to learn as much as possible, before making any decision about our future. She was sharing her findings, trying to educate myself too, She found all support groups and made me see a therapist.

    However, after a few days, she cancelled the IVF treatment and had asked to move out, so that she has more space to think. I was very thankful for her, for the love she gave me and all the support. At the same time, I am honestly very glad I didn’t ruin her life completely by having a baby with a gambler.

    Advice for fellow gamblers

    Speak up and admit you have the problem right now! Don’t wait until it’s too late! Go!

    Your family needs to know, cause they don’t deserve to live in a lie. They are planning their lives based on a lie and they didn’t deserve it. Let them know, so that they can plan their lives based on a truth.

    We can never know how someone will react and that is the scariest part. Maybe you will be surprised, as I was. Maybe your partner won’t be screaming, as mine didn’t, or maybe they will and that is ok too. It’s is because they are hurt greatly and you can stand it. Be there for your family and answer to all their questions. Help them understand what your addiction is.

    No more lies! Communicate with your dear partner and tell them all about what you’re going through. That is the only way that will take us far.

    We can do this! 

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