Gambling Addictions

Tag: gambling addiction

  • “Gambling Addiction Recovery – 5 Powerful Ways You Can Support Your Partner”

    “Gambling Addiction Recovery – 5 Powerful Ways You Can Support Your Partner”

    Gambling is an addiction that is dangerously easy to hide. Unlike alcohol or drug abuse, you might not necessarily know someone was a gambling addict on the surface. We see examples of gambling everywhere we look online and within the thousands of casinos in public spaces. Yet society still does not identify gambling addiction as chronic mental health issue that it is.

    For those living with a partner who gambles, the story is very different. Couple finances and shared responsibilities are significantly affected in an economical sense. However, the emotional rollercoaster of addiction is even more significantly felt by those closest to the addict. The recovery process can be as difficult to navigate as the addiction itself.

    So—how can partners of gambling addicts offer support in a way that protects them both? How can someone truly help their partner to free themselves from the grip of gambling addiction while taking care of their own health and wellbeing at the same time? With the appropriate tools in hand, freedom is entirely possible.

    Here are 5 impactful steps you can start applying today:

    • Learn about the illness.  Addiction is a mental health issue, without doubt. It is not a singular choice that an individual has made at any given stage of their life. Typically, gambling addicts are hyper-aware of their condition and their behaviours. Many struggle with immense guilt for the impact it has upon their own lives and those they love. By learning more about the beast of addiction, the battle will be easier to form a unified front against it. Access online resources (as you are right this moment) that will equip you with the information you need to better tackle each stage of recovery. Attend group therapy sessions where appropriate with your partner to encourage them and to learn more about their experience. Learn about the psychology of addiction and it’s typical behaviours. Do what you can to empower yourself with the tools you need to overcome this situation as a team.
    • Reassign spare time more positively.  Moments of spare time can be extremely difficult to deal with for a gambling addict, especially when there are so many online gambling options ready and waiting to pull them back in. Dedicate some evenings and weekends to sharing quality time together away from temptation. Leave your smartphones at home and head out for a walk in the outdoors to rebalance your mental health and disconnect from negative influences. Starting a new venture together can also be a great way to discover fresh opportunities for the same buzz of accomplishment that was found within gambling yet in a much healthier context. 
    • Seek professional support.  Perhaps your partner has already joined a support group. Maybe they are already seeing someone to help them deal with their addiction. This approach is a very positive step forwards for you both. But don’t forget that this process is indisputably a giant undertaking for you as well as your partner. Don’t be afraid to reach out for professional help from a therapist who can help you process the situation. It will offer you an outlet away from home which could improve your levels of reactivity when things become challenging at certain times. You deserve to enjoy good mental health just as much as your loved one does.
    • Create non-judgemental space for each other.  We rarely learn from a situation when we feel accused or attacked. When emotions reach a peak, it can be hard not to throw out statements borne from frustration against our partner. However, doing so will break even more trust between you than the addiction already has itself. Agree on a pact with your partner that you will always remain respectful of one another regardless of how tough it might get. Create an open listening environment where you both feel you can speak up without being interrupted or judged. Doing so will help your relationship to evolve and progress in the same way that it will benefit the overall recovery process.
    • Take your time.  Overcoming addiction is not instant, nor is it something that can be fixed up overnight. Deep healing occurs when plenty of time, love and energy is dedicated to the journey. Some days you might wonder if you’ll ever be free of the shadow of addiction. This is completely normal. But don’t lose sight of the fact that you will both eventually step beyond the trauma that gambling has caused in both of your lives. There is a whole world out there yet to be discovered by you both. There are people you’ve yet to meet and experiences to be enjoyed that you can’t even imagine yet. Gambling addiction and mental health issues do not define who you are – you do.

    We all have mental health battles we must face as life unfolds. Some of us fall into the trap of seeking vices such as gambling in an honest attempt to cope. Gambling companies have huge teams of dedicated experts who are employed specifically to target vulnerable mindsets. Each game is set up to draw each user into a never-ending cycle of enticing momentary wins leading to perpetual ultimate losses. 

    It is certainly not the ‘fault’ of the addict that they are in the position they now find themselves caught up in. However, this certainly does not stop them from taking back control and making change to overcome their situation. With appropriate support, true healing is entirely possible. The personal freedom that sits just the other side of the recovery line will always be worth each and every step towards it.

    Gambling ruined my life, and I was not the only one to suffer. There are hundreds of such people out there who have gone through the same trouble. My mission is to help them share their story so that they may get help in time. 

    Visit my website, https://gambling-addictions.com/ and share your story of recovery and be the motivation for thousands who fell prey to this addiction.

  • Don’t use Cash while in Gambling Recovery

    Don’t use Cash while in Gambling Recovery

    If you run out of sources to finance your bad habit, you can’t play anymore. Logical!? But what to do? Trust your money to a partner or someone you trust. Cut your credit cards and close the accounts. Under no circumstances should you even try to borrow more money! Let your loved one cover your necessary expenses and help you use your finances wisely.

    My partner was taking care of paying all the bills and she was in complete control over my finances. I think that way was only way I would survive and not having cash at all made me less vulnerable to gambling temptation.Having a money in pockets feels good, but living in country where in shopping malls are filled with slot machines is dangerous.

    In fact, the situation in Finland is bad.

    I visited the city Helsinki with my Friends  and the comment that they made is  they find it strange that there is so many slot machines inside shopping malls. The situation is drastic. Casinos have established themselves in all shopping centers without exception. What’s going on ? Nowhere else in Europe is such a thing noticed.

    It’s as bad as casinos advertising themselves as entertainment establishments. After all, casinos themselves produce addicts and their mission is to make a profit, not to entertain people. Total ********. From another point of view, of course, taxes on casinos are high and make up a significant part of the state budget.

    Slot machines shouldn’t be in shopping malls, This creates fewer addicts and the problems they cause (family, economic, …)

    As you move around the city, look around and you will see what is happening …I know people who have played at least a 60 000 euros in the last 3-4 years. Sadly I’m one of them and  I’m looking at eight to 10 years to pay this off. It’s the overwhelming guilt that hangs over you every single day with that debt upon your head. You’ve just got to try and get through that.

    There have been cases where they went to the casino with 5000 euros and 24 hours later called to me to borrow money for food and this was not the only time.

    I would ask people to share the experience with gambling addiction and for example, how it has gone while playing. Is there a feeling that in reality casinos are cheating and monitoring your behavior, gaming habits. For example, using a loyalty card will practically never win. Or you can see with your own eyes how 1000 euros are placed in slot machine and an hour later it’s all over. It also goes to the next player and puts thousands  and also literally nothing.

  • Activities A Gambling Addict Can Do In Recovery

    Activities A Gambling Addict Can Do In Recovery

    Gambling addiction often starts as a fun activity, and it can be adopted by anyone from any class and line of work. You start it as a form of entertainment, but it begins to root in your mind, and soon you find yourself addicted to it. Gambling addiction is just like any other form of addiction because you will crave to gamble just like you crave in drug addiction or alcohol addiction. At some point, you will find it hard to control your urges for gambling and think that there isn’t anything you can do to stop it, but there are many ways to overcome this obsession. First of all, you need to admit the issue and lookout for signs that may have caused this addiction in the first place.

    • Gambling addiction is often adopted to avoid family issues, to seek freedom from anxiety, loneliness, and guilt. 
    • Thoughts of becoming rich overnight and making lots of money without real effort.
    • Urges to gamble at least once in a week and feeling annoyed when trying to stop gambling practice.
    • Gamble with high stakes to get more significant rewards to achieve thrill & excitement.
    • Do not care about family, friends, and managing jobs or work hours to gamble.
    • Always lying to family and friends to conceal your habit of gambling.

    Once you discover your trigger points, it will be easier to recover from gambling addiction. You may have to come up with a better alternative to limit your time for gambling. Finding festive activities for problem gamblers is very important to help ease their recovery procedure. A gambler can adopt many healthy alternatives to take away his mind from the shining lights of casinos. I will be covering some of these healthy and entertaining activities in this article that might help you if you are a problem gambler.

    I was looking for healthy activities and after thinking hard, I decided to have a dog. I knew that I have to be very responsible with my new friend. I wanted a small, active dog so that I would be forced to get out and be active too. Best thing I ever did. I named her Coco and she is just one of those dogs where when I look into his eyes, I know exactly what she’s thinking. Sometimes the way she looks at me, I can tell Coco having real human thoughts in her tiny, little brain. I noticed that she’s perfect for my new healthy activity. People who have been gamble free a long time say the urges lessen and they definitely have for me – but they are still there. For me having a dog, helped me a lot with gambling urges.

    I will list some healthy activities down below.

    Healthy Activities for Problem Gamblers

    Distracting yourself during cravings for gambling is a great way to with your addiction, but to continually improving your condition, you will need to find better alternatives to gambling. You can shift your focus from bad habits towards healthier and more beneficial habits by staying positive and replacing gambling triggers with positive activities. Some alternatives can be,

    1. Physical Activity:

    It’s a good start because by staying active and working out daily, you won’t be having enough time to gamble away your money. This not only helps with your addiction but will always make you sharp and physically healthy. You can,

    • Go for walks
    • Join a gym
    • Start yoga classes
    • Meditate
    • Do team sports

    2. Spend Time With Family & Friends:

    Spending time with your loved ones and friends will make your problems go away and keep in check your anxiety levels. You don’t need to find an escape in gambling anymore. If you dedicate some time from your weekly routine to family & friends, it will surely help you with your addiction.

    • Plan a picnic
    • Go for a movie 
    • Nigh out with friends at some decent place
    • Spend time with your children

    3. Volunteer Work:

    Helping someone voluntarily will satisfy your heart and keep you away from bad distractions. You can do volunteer work for charitable organizations to utilize your free time. 

    4. Travelling:

    It opens your mind and takes away all your anxieties, stresses, and loneliness. Travelling is a great way to deal with gambling addiction as it is a positive addiction in itself. Moving to new places and meeting with new peoples allows you to communicate well and forget your sorrows and problems. Please don’t waste your money on gambling; Explore the world instead.

    Gambling is just like any other form of behavioral addiction, and it is vital to find suitable alternatives for problem gamblers to replace the addiction with healthier habits. With the passage of time, gamblers often neglect other interests in life as they get their dose of excitement from gambling. So, if you’re planning to quit gambling, you will have to find your excitement somewhere else. The best to do it is a 3-step approach that I suggest all the gamblers should follow.

    1. Admit Your Addiction
    2. Look for Trigger Points
    3. Replace the Triggers with Healthier Alternatives 

    Takeaway 

    In addition to problem gamblers, some addicts consider gambling as a source of entertainment. These people remain in denial of their addiction until it is too late for them to develop an alternative course of action. If you’re a problem gambler or addicts who consider gambling as a fun activity, I will advise you to quit gambling while you have the chance and develop healthier alternative habits to cope with the issue. Once gambling takes hold of you, it will become difficult for you to quit. 

    For this purpose, I have developed a platform, https://gambling-addictions.com/, where you can find sincere advice from ex-addicts and also share your story to reach out for help. 

  • How To Regain Trust of Loved Ones After Gambling Addiction Recovery

    How To Regain Trust of Loved Ones After Gambling Addiction Recovery

    Winning back trust takes time, be patient, look for opportunities to win it back and if the love is still there, the trust will follow in time. You have to work a bit harder to  make sure you follow through with everything you say, even if its just turning up at the time you said you would and don’t be surprised if they question you more frequently. Maybe share your finances a bit more and don’t have separate accounts or lines of credit.

    Trust is the most fragile thing in a relationship, but it is also the foundation of any relationship. Relationships that are rooted in trust have the potential to keep going even when you’re separated from your loved ones. Lies and empty promises are termites to any relationship that made it empty from inside and damage the trust between family members or loved ones. It’s very hard to regain trust once it’s salvaged because of the sense of insecurity from that person will always be dominant on thoughts. It is only possible is both parties are committed to the relationship and want to be together again. 

    Addiction is one of the root causes that salvage trust in a relationship, and gambling is a form of addiction that not only destroys a relationship but also make you feel miserable. Recovering from this addiction is a war in itself but regaining the trust of your loved ones once you’re recovered is the real fight. Especially, if you’re a couple of gambling will push you so far apart from your partner that it becomes very difficult to regain that same level of affection even after your recovery. 

    How to Regain Trust in a Relationship After Gambling Addiction?

    Addicts become so sensitive to feeling that they confuse love with hatred sometimes and left all the hope of recovery, but very few of them take stand for themselves and try to improve themselves for ones they care about. As I recovered addict, I can quote that,

    Addicts always suffer from frustration and want to do things fast. Their biggest fear is they won’t get accepted twice and, in most cases, It is true. 

    So, as much as an addict need to give time and efforts to regain trust, his/her partner must do the same in order for the process to work out. First things first, what an addict must do is to,

    • Find ways through which their loved ones can accept him/her. They need to be honest, promising, and modest for a considerable amount of time in order, to get accepted back in a relationship.
    • After recovery, an addict’s inner urges will eventually try to unleash but beware of your trigger points and try your best to avoid the situations that will make you gamble again.
    • Keep telling your partner that you’re an improved version of yourself and don’t need surveillance anymore, but if your partner feels like, he/she can keep an eye on you until they are satisfied.
    • Once in a week, surprise your partner and make him/her realize that you’re not an addict anymore.
    • Always be patient because it takes time to restore something that is broken and trust me when I say, Trust Is Very Hard To Come By.

    What You Must Do To Regain Trust In Relationship?

    You might have heard the phrase, “Trust Goes Both ways”. Yes! It’s very true. Although it’s a long-shot scenario, but if your partner is willing to give you a second chance, then it might work out if you follow some pretty basic tips to regain the trust. However, it also depends on your commitment to the task only 4/10 relationships are bounded back after the addiction, and this is only because they are fully committed on both ends. I might say,

    If your partner is willing to give you a second chance and you want to spend your life with the same person, then this is it, this is the spark you need to start over. 

    Following are some tips that might come in handy but remember patience & commitment is the key to restore the balance and trust in a relationship. Give time and space to your partner to think over your situation and decide what’s best for their future.

    1. Be a Man of Your Word

    Honesty is the first step in the strong foundation of any relationship. Until you prove that you’re a man of your word, any effort to regain trust will fail. Due to the overwhelming situation of your loved ones, they will be desperate to give you a chance to prove yourself. Make them realize each day that you’re a better man now by living up to your words. Here I might add,

    Your honesty alone will make them realize that you’re trying to improve so, be sure to make the only promises that you can live up to. 

    2. Communicate With Your Loved Ones

    You don’t to be alone anymore. It’s a sign that you are withdrawing and need space, but in reality, you want to bound and communicate with others. You want to share your emotions and express your feelings. Try to re-establish communication with your partner and loved ones. It will ensure that you want to build trust and honesty in a relationship by sharing your feelings. 

    3. Create & Follow a Healthy Routine

    Addiction wreaks havoc on your mind and body. It does matter whether the addiction is of drugs or gambling. It will make your body physically weak and mind mentally ill. So, after you’re recovery, everyone will be expecting to follow a healthy diet and routine form you. If you are truly committed to making the most of your second chance, then make sure to follow a healthy routine. This may include,

    1. Early morning exercise 

    2. Regular sleep cycle

    3. Attending therapy or group sessions regularly

    4. Eating a healthy diet

    5. Giving time to family & friends

    This will not only make you physically fit but also helps in improving your mental capacity. Moreover, this may be the turning point in your relationship, and finally, your loved ones start trusting you once again. 

    4. Have Patience 

    Perhaps the most irritating and struggling phase in rebuilding the trust in a relationship. This is where most of the couples lost their motion of going on because it is only so long you can wait for someone. But if your patient enough to bear all the misfortunes of your love ones, then it may be a blessing in disguise for him/her. Slowly, the recovering addict will feel your efforts and give in his/her bad habits. 

    The reality is that it’s going to be a long process to earn [your loved ones’] trust back…you’re not going to be able to earn everybody’s trust in one day. You need to earn your own trust first and work from there.

    Reference: Niko McManus, Mental Health Counseling Intern

    Get Professional Help In The Matter

    If you’re willing to follow above-mentioned point than you can work on building a happier, honest and healthier relationship. But then again you will have to stay committed with each other and give each other enough time to form new boundaries of trust. 

    Getting professional help in the matter would probably the kick start you might need in the beginning but remember,

    When you seek guidance from a therapist or counsellor, don’t withhold any information that can cause hurdle in building the foundation of a strong relationship. 

    Besides talking to a therapist, you can share your story with me on my website, and I would love to help you out in the process. I was also a gambling addict and on my website https://gambling-addictions.com/. I share of struggling addicts and persons who had successfully improved their lives after recovery. Share your experience and tell people what is the core reason that causes hurdle to regain trust even after the gambling addiction recovery. Maybe you can help out someone like us recovering addicts cope with the situation. 

  • Can You Deal With The Problem Of Gambling On Your Own?

    Can You Deal With The Problem Of Gambling On Your Own?

    Gambling is worst in all forms, but online gambling is destructive in a literal sense. With no monitoring, no limits to gambling and no need of physical location online gambling slowly take over control to your mind and eventually your life. Pathological gambling is the most dreadful of all forms of gambling because, in this situation, the subjects lose the ability to control their gambling habit, which leads to physiological issues. It also activates the brain’s reward system, similar to what happens when the body is under the influence of drugs. However, anyone can quit gambling with self-control and with the help of some online tools and apps. 

    Taking from someone who had been down to the same road of gambling and recovered. I would recommend you tend to your gambling issue before it’s too late. To help you guys understand the ground realities of recovery and cope with you gambling habit. I have compiled a list of do able activities that will help you quit gambling on your own with a little foreign help.

    There are some hooks that can help you along the way, 

    • Recognize the issue
    • Cope with it
    • Manage your gambling triggers
    • Use online tools to block gambling sites
    • Get help & support

    1. Recognize The Issue

    Admitting the problem is the first step towards the solution. If you recoinage your gambling habit and signs of your problem, then you can surely learn from them and modify your behavior accordingly. 

    • Signs of gambling includes, 
      • Getting thrills from taking gambling risks.
      • Spending more time on online gambling sites.
      • Use gambling to escape from anxiety and issues.
      • Feeling guilt or remorse after gambling.
    • Consequences of Gambling,
      • Financial issues.
      • Relationship problems.
      • Legal issues.
      • Mental health issues.

    Once you understand the grim reality of the problem, you will start thinking about the problem on your own.

    2. Coping With The Issue

    Excessive gambling can cause personal and professional issues. So, what exactly you can do to stop yourself from gambling? Pay attention to the following things!

    • Change your habits,
      • Don’t lose time from your work.
      • Pay your bills on time.
      • Don’t use credit card next time you gamble.
      • Make a list of your gambling habits and start quitting them one by one.
    • Be honest about your gambling,
      • Keep tally of your budgets.
      • List your debts for motivation.
      • Admit about your gambling and think about your future.
      • Think of what you could buy with all that gambling money.

    3. Manage Your Gambling Triggers

    Knowing what might trigger your impulse to gamble could sincerely help your way to recovery. These triggers could be thoughts, sensations, situations, behaviors and feelings which make you gamble. List your triggers as,

    • Keep a thought journal and list,
      • Your desire to gamble.
      • Write your thoughts when you think about gambling.
      • Do negative emotions like sorrow or stress trigger your gambling?
      • Do you gamble in excitement?
      • Does listening to music help you forget about gambling?
    • Avoid gambling environment,
      • Suppose your friend suggests about gambling or a trip to a casino. Suggest him some other fun activity to distract your thoughts.  
      • Avoid passing by gambling halls and visiting gambling sites.
      • Avoid encountering gambling environment and betting scenes.
    • Limit your use of drugs and alcohol.
    • Increase your impulse control to gambling.

    4. Use Apps & Tools To Block Gambling Sites

    These applications and blocking software are specifically designed to keep your gambling urges in check. These apps and tools are meant to promote awareness about the deadly effects of gambling habit and related issues. These applications include,

    • Betfilter
    • The Cassava App
    • Recoverybox App
    • Addiction Alert App

    These applications are readily available on Android and Apple stores. The applications are very useful in breaking the addiction and could save anyone from gambling. 

    The other possible way is to block all links or access to gambling sites by using some gambling software like. 

    • Gamban
    • Gamblock
    • Betblocker

    5. Get Help & Support

    When you run out all the options to stop yourself from gambling. Therapy and professional help could probably get you somewhere. 

    Explore Social Support: It is always helpful when addicts get attention from their loved ones. It could be an integral factor in your recovery.

    • Tell your family about your issue and see how they react. Call them for support and attention you need to get ahold of your recovery.
    • Indulge your friends and tell them about your gambling habit. They will be a great help to keep you distracted from gambling triggers. 

    Join Support Groups: In situations like this, supports groups are always a suitable option to talk freely about how you feel about your gambling habit. It will also help you encounter individuals with a similar issue, and you will feel less alone. 

    Concern With a Therapist: Professional helpis significant if your issue is critical and you can’t face it alone. If your habit is severe than probably all of your companions will bailout, and you will find yourself alone in the darkest corner of your destructive habit. Calling a professional for help might be the kick you need to get on your track of recovery.

    The Bottom Line

    Gambling is a severe issue, and a gambling habit can’t be neglected in any case. You might think that you can control your impulses and it is right in the beginning, but as you play along with this habit, it forces itself upon your mind. Eventually, like a pathogen, it devours its host from inside and leaving a shell with no emotions, will power and reasoning capability. I have been down to the oblivion of this habit and found myself cornered. Though my consciousness was alive, but I can’t seem to correct myself.

    That’s why I promised myself whenever; I will get free of this despair, I will share my story and tips to others so that they might get help and save themselves. Visit my website, https://gambling-addictions.com/ for useful tips and stories that will motivate you to quit this disastrous habit. 

  • Part Two: My Partner is a Gambler

    Part Two: My Partner is a Gambler

    Written by my fiancé

    My fiancé agreed to write about how finding out about my addiction was for her. I think this is the only proper and honest way my readers can have the full picture on how a life of a family gets ruined by a gambling addiction. This is her side of our story, the second part:

    Part Two:

    I have two Master Degrees in design and up until now I have considered myself well educated. Yet I knew nothing about addictions and gambling. No one from my family had that problem. I felt so angry that all the schools that I finished didn’t teach me anything about dealing with mental illnesses and “earthquakes” in life that shake and ruin all we thought we knew so well.

    Giving Uri two weeks to move out put additional pressure on me. I had no idea how to deal with problems I was facing. The love of my life, my fiancé, the future dad of my kids, was so terribly ill and I was kicking him out, cause I didn’t know what to do. I was absolutely sure he didn’t love me and that I failed as a partner, cause he chose to hide his problems from me.

    Is gambling really an illness or just a sign of weak character? If he broke the leg, would I cancel the IVF and tell him to move out? What is compulsive gambling? Is it curable? Why was the doctor from IVF clinic telling me that gambling is not a big deal? Why was she telling me that I should support him in his recovery? Why didn’t she see his illness as a big deal? I was so confused.

    I told my sister about Uri’s secret. She got so mad and upset, saying he should be happy we didn’t live in the same city. She hated him from the bottom of her heart.

    I felt so ashamed. All my life I was living respecting everyone and everything, following all the rules. Getting drunk was still something I have never experienced, because I just never liked the taste of alcohol and dizziness I would feel. I have never broken any rule and have never taken any risky move, especially not financially. Now being with Uri felt as if he is doing all I never wanted to experience.

    The first week, after I found out, was extremely hard for me. I felt unbearable anxiety because I told him to move out, yet I didn’t know a thing about a gambling addiction. I decided to contact 3 psychologists an hear what they have to say. The first one screamed, saying that I should leave him immediately and consider getting back in touch after a year, when he potentially solved his issues. She said that the gambling addiction is one of the hardest, cause addicts don’t feel any consequences on their body, as they would with alcohol or narcotics, so that their bodies cannot benefit from getting rid of toxins. The doctor said it will be extremely hard for me to live with him because of all the mood changes and that I don’t need that in my life. I am young and can find someone who will be better for me. I cried so much after meeting that doctor and have decided I will never contact her again, cause her approach was too radical and not something I wanted to hear.

    The second and third psychologists had the same view on the matter. They said it’s a disease and should be treated as such. It’s not something you can see, feel or touch, but is something that can be worked on with proper therapy. They said no one knows if it will be cured and to what extend, but everything is possible. They have also said that it is amazing he admitted it and is willing to go to therapies, cause that’s a huge step that many gamblers don’t take. They told me to take one step at a time and that he doesn’t need to move out until I make up my mind and make decisions about how I want to proceed.

    I told Uri I don’t want him to move out yet and that I need more time to think. That immediately lowered my anxiety and gave me piece. Now I “just” needed to figure out how I wanted to proceed which became one of the hardest tasks in my life..

    Unfortunately, right after that shocking event, COVID 19 pandemic started, over which Uri lost his job, since the restaurants closed down. Even if I decided I didn’t want to continue the relationship with him (which I didn’t), we couldn’t separate, cause our families lived in other countries, borders were closed and people stopped seeing each other because of the lockdowns. We decided to keep on living together until we feel more stable and back to some kind of normal.

    Fast forward to 6 months from when I found out about his illness… I learned so much about the addictions, because that was the only way I could help both me and him. To this day it’s not clear for me if we will have future together and if we are good for each other. I still didn’t make decision if I wanted a relationship with him. It seems impossible because of all the fears and questions I have, but that I don’t have an answer to. We are still living together, but as roommates. For some reason, he is so angry at me, because he thinks I didn’t support him enough. I gave my best, but all the expectations I had regarding his recovery both mental and financial made it so hard for both of us. He constantly felt as if he is not good enough for me and I felt completely neglected and alone. I couldn’t understand why he stopped kissing and hugging me. Psychologist, that I kept on seeing all these moths told me that I have to initiate close contact, because he must feel as if he completely lost his identity by revealing his secrets and that he is absolutely insecure. However, I thought that our relationship became one sided as he didn’t put any effort and didn’t care about my feelings at all. He didn’t make any financial recovery plan that would give me some understanding on how our future might look like and how much he would be able to provide monthly. E.g. what if we decided to proceed with IVF treatment, who would be paying for it, how would he be able to support our potential baby? To this day all those questions remained unanswered and are making me feel very uncertain about his abilities to take care of me, his family and of his love for me. If he loved me and if he cared for me, wouldn’t he first make sure I am feeling safe and not this much in dark about his plans and future?

    I am trying to understand him, to help and support him as much as I can, but at the same time I shifted my focus from him to me. All that I tried to do, all the numbers I called, all the information I gathered feels to me was waisted. I am sure he will do all that is necessary, but in his own pace, not mine. We are not the same and it was wrong from me to expect he will fix his problem as I would.

    All I can do now is to hope and pray he will manage to fight his demons and will come out of it stronger than he ever was. In the meantime I will focus on myself and take necessary steps that will improve my life.

    Advice for gamblers:
    I know you are going through so much, I really do. There are so many new things that you have to do, like group therapies, talking to psychologists, dealing with all new emotions that come with facing with addiction… However, try to make some room for your loved ones. They are going through equally hard times. Their lives have changed dramatically too. Maybe you’re not good conversationist, but that shouldn’t stop you trying to talk to your family. Tell them how you feel every day, so that they would be able to understand you better. Don’t let them make assumptions about anything, but talk, talk, talk and I promise you, the more you try the better you will become. It’s not about the perfection, it’s about the progress. Your loved ones deserve to know everything, because they too have just one life that they are trying to live as best as they can. We all should respect time we are all spending together and dreams the others are having. Be open and honest, so that your family can fight this together with you, with the right information. You’re in this together!

    I wish you all the strength to fight this disease. Never doubt your worth or intelligence! You are amazing and can do this for sure!

    Advice for affected family:
    Two most important things I learned:

    1. Gambling addiction is not your fault!
    2. You need to focus on yourself!
    3. Fins a good therapist that will help you go though rough times

    All you can really do for your partner/loved one is to help him/her find the therapy s/he deserves to have, give advices what you think should be done and try to understand that addiction is a disease. Unfortunately, all the hard work addicts need to do, not you. Maybe it will be so clear from the beginning that you won’t leave your partner no matter what and that is great. I wish it was clear for me from the beginning, but it really wasn’t. If you feel similar to how I felt – absoluthy lost and not sure how to continue living with the addict, here is what I have to say:

    You will probably feel ashamed for what is happening to you, you will probably loose some friends because they won’t meet your expectations, or they won’t know how to approach you, as it always happens when we need fiends the most. You will also learn who your true friends are (many friendships will become stronger) and all of this is ok. This experience will teach you so much about life. You will realize what really matters, what your priorities are and how you want to live your life. You will probably spend a lot of time crying, thinking, wondering why it had to happened to you, maybe you will start taking things personally and as if Universe has something against you, but that phase won’t last too long. You just need to give yourself time to heal and to really listen to your hart and what it wants. Only when you follow what you really feel and desire, only then you’ll be able to find piece within yourself. You’re not obligated to stay with the addict and you should never fell like you abandoned her/him if you decide to leave. You have just one life that you need to live to the fullest. You should never think of things that don’t go according to your plans as mistakes, but as valuable lessons. Take time to make decisions as I am doing right now. I will still wait until I know exactly what I want to do.

    I wish you all the best!

  • Why Gambling Is The Worse Form Of Addiction?

    Why Gambling Is The Worse Form Of Addiction?

    There could be thousands of reasons why people adopt gambling, and even psychologists don’t know why people gamble? It started as fun for some persons, and for some, it was meant to escape their sorrows. But in the end, the result was always the same; Gambling Stops Being a Diversion and Becomes Addiction. What keeps people stick with it? Why people love this game, which is designed to rob them of their happiness and wealth? Why is gambling the worse form of Addiction?

    As an ex gambling addict and researcher, I sought to answer these questions, and from what I have learned, gambling is designed with several hooks attached to it. These hooks grab the addict and command his brain to compel the body for gambling. According to an expert,

    Undoubtedly, gambling is an actual brain disease that is quite different from 20 years ago when people thought it as an issue of greed, lack of willpower, and morality. Gambling changes the behavior of brain activities, which explains why people can’t seem to stop.

    Reference: Dr. Timothy Fong, Addiction Expert and Co-Director of UCLA Gambling Studies 

    Why Is Gambling So Addictive?

    It’s common knowledge that when we involve in an activity that keeps us distracted from anxiety and troubles and helps us pass the time, our neurons squirt a chemical known as dopamine that provides us satisfaction and encourages our body to make it a habit. Drug addicts use a similar stimulus to trigger that response and release dopamine forcefully to get satisfactions. With time the brain adapts to these foreign chemicals and needs more significant doses to trigger dopamine or develop tolerance to drugs. In other words, these drugs rob the neurons of their power to induce euphoria, and they become less responsive to their effects. 

    So, the more an addict uses drugs, the harder it becomes for him to stop. Keeping this behavior as a base, the researchers study the habits of pathological gamblers and compulsive addicts. As a result of this research, it was observed that the gambling addicts share many similarities with reward-seeking addicts. Just as drug addicts need a bigger dose with time to stimulate dopamine, the compulsive gamblers take high riskier ventures. 

    Similarly, drug addicts and gamblers share withdrawal symptoms when separated from respected chemicals or thrill to gamble. As an ex-addict, I can assure you it is far worse than drug addiction because physical insertion of foreign elements may cause overdose or tripping point that will set you back and make you realize. But a gambler will always pursue the course until he became a drug addict and wreck his life. Let me rephrase a comment of a fellow gambling addict,

    I started it as a fun and then realized I could not lose money fast enough in any other game. After six months of intense Addiction, I had lost thousands of dollars and went through my home equity line, all of my credit, and also borrowed money from anyone I could. For me, the money was a drug, and gambling was how I got high. 

    Reference: Kelvin Josh, Recovering Gambling Addict

    How Is Body Conditioned for Gambling Habit?

    Have any of you know about Pavlov Conditioning? It was based on the concept that,

    Specific Stimulus Triggers a Specific Response

    The conditioning was discovered by a Russian physiologist named Ivan Pavlov. In his experiments, Pavlov rang a bell every time he fed his pets. This way, he paired the sound of a bell with the arrival of food or food time. After that, the pets adjusted or conditioned them with the bell, and now each time the bell rang, the pets know it’s time to eat. 

    So, what does this have to do with gambling addiction? Recall in the above experiment; the bell was a trigger that served as a cue for pets. Similarly, when a person gambles at regular intervals, he paired himself with the gambling habit. Each time he sees his beloved card game or gambling table, it served as a cue and forced him to gamble just the like the bell cued the pets of food. Such signals served as powerful cravings and frequently resulted in relapse. In such a way, the body is conditioned for gambling, not intentionally but by the repeated response.

    What’s the Remedy?

    Pavlov or classical conditioning may be the cause in the first place, but it can also be the salvation of compulsive addicts. Recall the first example in which Pavlov had conditioned the pets with the sound of a bell. It is observed if one rang the bell many times, the connection can be salvaged. Similarly, if a gambling addict stops using a specific gambling game that he/she preferred above others, it could be the first step to the recovery. 

    But it seems too easy, right? Yes! The withdrawal is not easy, and I can vouch for that, but we have to start somewhere. 

    The Bottom Line

    Gambling addiction is increasing at an alarming rate. It is often described as an out of control habit, and you can quickly locate a gambler if he/she shows the following signs,

    • Obsessive behavior about gambling 
    • Always in need of some extra cash
    • Socially unstable relationships
    • Prone to theft or fraud
    • Feeling irritated or restless

    More effective treatment techniques are needed to counter the devastating effects of gambling. The first step is to talk with others about your Addiction, and this is the hardest step. For this purpose, I have developed a platform, https://gambling-addictions.com/, where you can reach and share your story with fellow addicts and ex-addicts. This way, you can reach out and call for help. I urge you to share your recovery story with me and be a motivation for others. 

  • Online Gambling- A New Face Of Intense Gambling Addiction

    Online Gambling- A New Face Of Intense Gambling Addiction

    Addiction originally comes from Latin, where it is mean “Enslaved By”. It’s true actually because one who has suffered from addiction can tell you about it’s sturdy and prolonged grip on mind and body. It damages personal and professional life and challenges your senses to be reasonable. The world was already suffering from terrible effects of gambling, and now online gambling has made it even worse. 

    It’s the form of gambling that alone has worth more than $100 billion. The collaboration between addictive mobile technology and casino gambling has made it more accessible and more comfortable to gamble, which is a matter of grave concern. Yes! Believe me this so right about online gambling; it’s 24/7 availability making is potentially more addictive. It is challenging to recover from traditional gambling and now imagine the catastrophe to an online form of this addiction. The internet is making things all the worse because it has made gambling accessible to everyone in every corner of the globe. 

    Even minors who are not allowed to gamble at physical casinos or betting places are gambling through online casinos. It has spawned our youth and troubled gamblers who were already struggling with their gambling addiction. 

    Online Gambling Is a New Form Of Gambling Addiction:

    Some of you may wonder, how online gambling qualifies for addiction? Let me tell you some interesting facts that I have observed over the past few years due to which I personally consider that it perhaps may be the worse form of gambling addiction. The characteristics of online gambling make it potentially more harmful because a gambler doesn’t need to go to a physical location. Let’s dig out some terrible facts about internet gambling addiction.

    Accessibility:

    One of the major causes of the sudden rise in gambling is that online gambling platforms are easily accessible 24/7, and you can gamble from anywhere. All you need is an active internet connection and no need to step in “brick and mortar” walls for gambling anymore. It has provided gamblers great comfort to play and convenience to gamble without fear. They are distracted by alcohol or drugs and can spend more time on gambling and as a result, loose subsequently higher money than ever. 

    Gambling is prohibited for underage and minors. But online gambling has made it easier for minors to gamble without any fear of being caught. You can bet in online casinos even from the locations where gambling is banned. The only option remains in this scenario is self-control, and without it, anyone could fall prey to gambling these days quickly.

    Anonymity 

    Yes! It’s entirely possible these days. A troubled gambler had to watch his back always whether someone is noticing his absence or not. If he spends too much at a casino, then he would be seen. But online gambling is entirely a different matter. Gamblers can play via mobile, laptop, tablet or Personal computer without being missed and revealing their identity.

    Anonymity has encouraged a lot of people to gamble in online casinos without the fear of being caught, and it has increased the likelihood of impulse gambling addiction.

    Affordability

    Online gambling websites are addictive because they use intelligent marketing strategies to convert more gamblers onto their sites. Some offer exceptional discounts and even free chips to play their firsthand, and some offer to take part in progressive jackpots. The greed and impulse to become rich dominates at that moment, and after that, the person becomes a regular visitor. 

    People can easily set up an account to such sites and access their bank accounts on the go gamble at affordable prices at any time. 

    Grave Reality About Online Gambling!

    Internet gambling is likely to continue growing because the platforms are becoming more and more with each update. The entertainment and recreational level are also booming, including easy to access options. The promise of excellent gambling fun has already converted a vast majority of youth to serve gambling addiction. Researcher suggests that accessibility, affordability & anonymity are three root causes that have motivated online gambling. It has increased the value of money, and among other reasons of internet, gambling is fast payout options, exceptional bonuses and discounts, the ease to play from anywhere and extensive possibilities of betting. 

    These days it easy to fall prey to this addiction as technology has surrounded the humans tightly. We live in the digital age and always looking for recreational options. Online gambling is a sort of recreations that ends into catastrophic addiction.

    The Bottom Line

    Online gambling is severely addicted due to its unique and easy to access fun features. Particularly for troubled gamblers, it’s a new form of escape from troubles. Internet gambling is not land-based, and due to its constant availability, the comfort of play and easy betting, it has affected the immense population in many countries around the globe. 

    I am also a victim of gambling addiction, and if you ask me! It’s friendly advice to quit as soon as possible. It will affect your life and those you care and will leave you with debts and sorrows. After recovering from this addiction, I promised myself to help everyone who wants to reach and tell his story & experience of gambling addiction. 

    Visit my website, https://gambling-addictions.com/ and share your life experience. Be a motivation for others and help them understand that Gambling Addiction is not merely an addiction; it’s a curse to your happy life. 

  • I Lost My Partner Because Of Gambling

    I Lost My Partner Because Of Gambling

    True luck consists not in holding the best of the cards at the table; luckiest is he who knows when to rise and go home.

    Reference: John Milton Hay

    Indeed, a wise man always knows when to quit. Gambling addiction is well known as The Silent Killer; it pushes you towards the edge and then sits aside to watch you die as life slips away from your finger. Saying this from my personal experience that gambling leaves a mark on your life. Sometimes, it’s in the shape of a never-ending series of debts, and sometimes, it costs you the ones you loved the most.

    It’s not like gamblers are unaware of the problems; they are very much aware of the impacts- debts, loos of control, daily quarrels, and helplessness. But the thing is the craving will not let you rest until you’re not up for another round at poker table. Gambling feeds on your wealth, family, emotions, relations, last but not least, your health. 

    It goes both ways; gambling affects your relationship, and sometimes, peoples who are fed up with the relations seek refuge in gambling. This habit isolates him further, and each time he looks around, the herd becomes thinner. It provokes a gambler to find an escape from this disastrous life through gambling, while, in reality, it destroys his very essence piece by piece. 

    I lost someone too! And sharing this here will not heal my wounds, but it will mend my grief. Gambling addiction does affect your relationship and can have devastating effects. First, it rakes the trust between relations, and then never-ending lies choke it away completely. The lies, secrets, and gambling itself are the factors that ruin families.

    Hi! Myself Uri and I am an ex-gambler. Losing someone can be harsh, and if this someone is the love of your life, the pain is devastating. Today, I will share with you how your partner will react when he/she finds out about your addiction.

    1. Your Relationship Will Change

    Embrace yourself because this is reality. Once your partner finds out about your gambling addiction, his/her impression of you will change. It may be positive or negative. In most cases, as soon as the partner knows this fact, he/she will decide to leave to whether immediately or in one’s own good time. 

    Gambling is a curse; it drives a wedge in your bonding and then turns it into bits. These bits block the view of your love for your partner. He/she feel like you’re ruining their lives by being unfaithful. It takes huge courage and honesty to drive a relationship. But the broken promises and lies made your partner lose faith in you.

    So, it’s true when I say; the truth will change your relationship with your partner for good.

    2. Feel The Change In Behaviour

    An addict behaves out of order, and in most cases, this is the only reason they get caught. When your partner knows this fact, they feel betrayed. This is where all the hard-earned money was going! Their minds suddenly filled with negative thoughts. They lost complete trust in you, and then comes the change in behaviour. Your partner starts hiding things from you.

    The loving thought of shared dreams, love, mutual respect, and promises that define the very deep emotions of your partner’s commitments were perceived to be betrayed. Your gambling behaviour fades all the good that you have done, and only the stamp of gambler remains by which you’re judged. Once your partner finds put about gambling addiction, you will see that:

    • Your partner starts ignoring you
    • He/she will not share the bed with you anymore
    • Your partner will not tell you his personal affairs anymore
    • Suddenly starts cutting you out from his/her life
    • The love in your partner’s eyes will fade away
    • You will lose respect and faith

    In gambling, you will win big, but the thing you will lose is not just money. It will always be more than you can ever imagine.

    3. Things Will Go Sideways

    Yes! Things will definitely go sideways. Your world will fall apart slowly as sand grains slip from hand. You will feel like fish trapped in a jar. Speaking from personal experience- You can’t run from it, you can hide from the consequences, and certainly, you can’t beat the odds. Not until you make a mind and do something about it. But what happens when things go sideways? At first, you will observe the behavioural changes of your partner, and the never-ending fights will begin. You and your partner will fight and argue over trivial things.

    Your partner will hate your presence, and even after things settle down, they will always remain vigilant about your daily routine. Your partner will meddle into your affairs, and this will start irritating you. But we can’t blame them for this, can we?

    If I talk about myself, it took me years to understand that it was never about winning or losing. It’s the blow we like. We just love to blow away every cent, and with it every relationship we hold dear. In the end, what remains is a long list of loans to prolong the guilt, shame, and anger.

    “As long as the gambling continues, your mind will always stray in darkness, and you will keep chasing your lost memories in the dark mist of the past. The money and relations you have lost are gone forever” 

    How does It end?

    It’s the most painful part. It is also very hard for your partner to leave you. When your partner finds out about your gambling addiction, it comes as a surprise. At first, they take their time to digest the shock and understand the situations. In most of the cases, they feel pity and sticks with you until they can. I have seen many couples struggling over this issue.

    The bad days- days you don’t want to talk about will come, days that will make you lose sleep in the night will follow you. With all this burning inside, your partner will slowly make his/her way out of your life.

    They don’t want to lose their love for gambling, so; they struggle to maintain their relationship. But in very few cases, they dare to make it to the end. Feeling nauseous, confused, and disoriented, their only option will be to let you deal with it and run away. 

    Trust me! They will run away as there is only much one can bear. 

    I read somewhere- The scariest thing in the world is to be left alone. When one loses all the hope, faith, money, and even feel the end is near, the support and love of others kept him going. But when you lose respect, support, and relations, this destroys you, and an addict does that to himself. It takes a lot of soul searching and time to make relations and memories, but all it takes one wrong decision to fade it all.

    How I Lost My Partner To Gambling?

    Let me share with you guys- The Story Of My Life! HOW I LOST MY LOVE, and my partner to this addiction. She was everything to me, the most important person of my life. Our life was perfect, we had moved in together about 3 years ago and enjoying life to it’s full. We were the perfect fit for each other, like the missing pieces of a puzzle. I knew her mood swings, habits, likes, and dislikes and was always there for her.

    We got engaged, and everything was going as we had planned. We were saving money for our better future and were looking to have a dream life together full of joys and love. Last year, we travelled in the summer and decided to have a baby to complete our family. We booked for an IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) treatment and started choosing cute names for our future family members.

    In between these pleasant times, we had brought a dog in our new apartment that we had rented about nine months ago. In the evening, when I come home from a tiresome work routine, I used to play with our dog, and then we spend the night discussing our day. But I don’t know she got the air of my gambling habit that changed everything. At first, she became angry for not telling her, and afterward, the arguments and long fights become a permanent thing.

    She supported me initially, but as time passed, she didn’t want to stay with me anymore. Just like that- My life was torn apart, I promised to quit, but she didn’t believe me. Trust was gone and she didn’t believe me anymore. After serious fights and never-ending arguments, she asked me to move out of the apartment.

    I don’t blame her for that, as it was me who was to blame. I did that to myself. I lost her because of my foolishness. After that day, I promised myself that I would quit gambling, start working hard to have a new life, and never make that mistake again that cost me everything. At my blog gambling-addictions.com, I share my experience as a gambling addict and want the people to know that if they won’t quit this habit in time, they will lose their partner as I did.

  • How To Find Out Your Partner Is Gambling Addict and What Can You Do To Help

    How To Find Out Your Partner Is Gambling Addict and What Can You Do To Help

    A Gambler Is Nothing But a Man Who Makes His Livings Out Of False Hope

    Reference: William Bolitho

    Take it from a person who had experienced the severe effects of gambling addiction- just stay away from this hellish play. It starts as fun, and as you indulge in it further, it becomes a nightmare. There is no easy way out for a gambling addict and mark my words- sooner or later, you’re going to find yourself isolated from everyone and desperately seek for help. It’s not something you can ignore casually because, on later stages, gambling addicts can experience physiological issues along with financial and social impacts.

    Hi! Myself Uri and I am an ex-gambling addict. I know how you feel about this addiction and how you feel proud about your winnings. Been there and felt everything that you’re going through now. At first, it feels like heavens, and as soon it hits you hard, everything changes into hellish nightmares. If you’re an addict and reading out my blog- I will strongly recommend to reach out for help while you still have time. 

    Gambling is inevitable, and no matter what is said or done to advocate or oppose the gambling addiction, it is something that is practised on a larger scale or tacitly endorsed by a substantial majority of individuals for worldly benefits. 

    In this article, I am going to share with you, how you can find out whether your partner is a gambling addict and what can you do for his gambling recovery.

    How To Find Out Your Partner Is a Gambling Addict?

    When you identify an addict, it is usually more difficult to convince him/her about his addiction. First things first, gambling addicts are categorized into two types,

    1. Escape Gamblers: They are tough to catch as most of them don’t even do gambling openly. They seem normal until they reach to the peak point or even near collapsing. 
    1. Action Gamblers: Recognizing an action gambler is easier if you know about his habits. Any particular change in his behaviour can ring your bells. For example, action gamblers love to play poker.

    Without further ado, let’s dig out general ways to find out about someone’s gambling addiction.

    1. Loss Of Interest 

    Saying this from personal experience- A gambling addict loses interest in spending time with others, including his family and friends. If your partner is not showing up for dates lately or ditching dinners and family gatherings, then it’s a cue for you to look into his affairs. I will not be surprised if you find about his addiction because it’s what addicts do. They lost interest in everything other than gambling. He spends more time on making strategies to gamble and making plans to get money for the next gamble.

    2. Promise Unending Lies

    Yes! I did that a lot. I used to promise every day with myself and my loved ones- This is the last time, I am gambling, and after tonight’s game, I am done with this shit. But you know what! This doesn’t work and every single time I was there, back at the gambling table shuffling cards for the next round. So, if your partner is making promises and swearing you- This is the last time, I am doing this. Just don’t fall for his lies anymore.

    3. Often Boast About Becoming Rich

    It’s the most fatal lie a gambling addict tells himself and his loved ones. There was a time in my life when all I thought about was getting rich, and gambling seemed an easy way. Yes! You can get rich, but the cost is too high. If you get a hold of winnings, it will never let you stop, and if you keep losing, it will obliterate you sooner or later. The addiction starts with a hope that something out there can instantly bring everything in your life which you desire, but you end up getting more debts.

    So, if your partner often boasts about big winnings or becoming rich overnight. I recommend having a glance at his expenses. You will soon find an unexpected rise in withdrawals and his gambling addiction.

    4. Tries To Hide at Any Cost

    Gambling sticks with you and you can’t wash it off

    This saying reminds me of the time when I used to slice off time from every hour of the day for just being on a gambling table. I used to look for places as far from home as possible to gamble without fear of being caught in the act. I just feel lucky to recover from the loss in time because someone was always there to care for me.

    Look into the daily routine of your partner. If possible, keep a record of his working hours and if he is spending more time out there, than sadly he is in trouble. Reach out to him and try to understand his condition because you’re the only one who can help him while he still has a chance at recovery.

    Sometimes, while I am on a beautiful morning walk or standing on the peaceful bank of the river, I use to think about that moment of self-realization. I was fortunate to have it early on before it began to have fatal impacts on my relationship, finances and family.

    I first-hand witnessed the devastating effects of gambling, and I must say, Please don’t hate gambling addicts- feel pity for them and help them if possible.

    If you suspect your partner has gambling problems, you are the best chance at his gambling recovery. Firstly, encourage him to get help from professionals and try to convince him of his addiction. You must realize his condition and deal accordingly. You can offer support to your partner and seek professional guidance in the matter. Let’s have a look at ways through which you can support someone troubling with gambling addiction.

    1. Have a Talk

    Addicts feel completely isolated even in the dense crowd. Their minds are filled with a thousand thoughts and remorse. But there is no one to share these thoughts. The best thing you can do at the initial stage of gambling recovery, reach out and have a talk with your partner. Listen to his story and feel his pain. Encourage him for his struggle and share his agony. 

    By mere listening to his torment, you are providing him support to change for a better life. 

    2. Spend Time With Your Partner

    As discussed before, a gambling addict isolates himself from everyone- Ignores his family, his partner and his friends. He would not attend family gatherings anymore and will spend less time with his family. So, your second step should be to slice up your happy hours for him. Start noticing his mode swings and always be there when he needs you.

    Plan a dinner or night out with him and make him appear for outings on time. This practice will substantially reduce his gambling time and keep in check his addiction. It will help your partner’s gambling recovery and make him realize that you care deeply.

    3. Appreciate His Efforts

    Most of the gamblers start with a passion for providing luxury to their loved ones. They want their partners to have everything in life. The thought is not wrong because it is usually born out of care. So, if you want your partner to stay away from gambling, appreciate his little efforts to make you happy. 

    Appreciate his love and support his financial status. Make him realize- he is providing enough, and all you need is, his love. It will encourage him to stay on the path and work hard to achieve something more significant. Appreciation is the easiest way to help in gambling recovery.

    4. Encourage To Join Support Groups

    Support Group featured a rotating cast of characters in various states of tumour-driven unwellness. Why did the cast rotate? A side effect of dying

    Reference: John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

    I have been there; right at the verge of collapsing, but someone came to my aid and encouraged me to think about a better future. Support groups are closed circles in which a gambling addict can speak freely about his mistakes and he can share his feelings openly.

    How foolish was he to think that gambling could make him rich? These groups have sworn secrecy, and the good thing about the sessions is you meet peoples who made the same mistakes. This thing sparks your thoughts and inspires you to make things right in future. It’s the easiest way to gambling recovery, which is proven efficient because it aims to give you a sense of realization.

    Make your partner join these sessions, try to take part with him and listen to his regrets. Encourage him to do well and support him along the way to make his gambling recovery as smooth as possible.

    5. Set Aims for Future

    A gambling addict loses his courage to move forward. Sometimes, suicide is the only option to end the misery as their future seems darkened. Speaking this from experience- There comes, a point in every gambler’s life when all hope is lost, and they feel terrible about their existence. Many end their lives in remorse, and many lost their way to life. Only a few have someone who care, and those are the ones for whom you are going to make yourself better.

    Share Your Story!

    Gambling is not a foul play, and to some extent, it is socially acceptable. But gambling addiction is a whole different story. If you think you can manage it and leave it untreated, gambling addiction will get to you eventually. It affects your friends, family and even your relationships. When I got out of it, I promised myself to share the stories of addicts so that they may get help and never feel hopeless again.

    Visit my website, https://gambling-addictions.com/ and share your story to get help in time.

  • How Gambling Addiction Affects Family and Friends

    How Gambling Addiction Affects Family and Friends

    Gambling is like a fatal disease, it kills you slowly, but you’re not the only one suffering. You may be addicted, but the whole family suffers with you each day. Gambling addiction has a particular impact on family members because of the debt it causes.

    Stumbling and staggering I reached at the door in the middle of the night. Like other weekends, it’s just another one full of misery. I lost again today, and this is becoming a permanent issue. Drunk and disappointed, I am a gambling addict. I can’t tell anybody about it, at least not now. These are the expressions of every gambling addict out there. Gambling is a severe addiction and according to stats,

    • Half of the gambling addicts are involved in crimes one way or another.
    • Over 80% of the addicts become Alcohol or Drug addicts as well.

    They want to reach out for help, but many few of them dare to do so. Thankfully, I was one of them. I have been a gambling addict for more than 2 years, and during this time, I have neglected my family and friends in many ways. 

    In this article, I will share with how gambling addiction affected my family and my friendship.

    Emotional Impacts and Isolation

    This is what I call the first phase of addiction. When I started losing money, it took a toll on my mind. As an addict, I always denied these feelings because, for me, Gambling was a cure for all the unpleasant feelings. I left my loved ones behind and started to ignore them. Isolation is eminent under such circumstances. I just wanted to be alone and think about my next bluff. As a result, I developed feelings of anxiety and depression over time. Being irritated to everyone and even violence sometimes. After my recovery, from what I have observed, there are 3 main things an addict faced.

    • The partner of an addict doesn’t want to get close to him/her as he/she always feels scared around him.
    • Gambler remains in denial, and for this reason alone he isolates himself from others and cut out his love and support.
    • Friends of an addict leave in the end and mostly due to the unpaid debts.

    Mental Stress

    When I started gambling everything was excellent in the beginning. Sometimes I got out with lots of cash and other times I lost some. I always took it as a sport for recreation, but I didn’t even realise how and when I got to the deep end. As I began to lose more games, the stress increases each time. This stress not only confides with me but also with my loved ones. When they see me stressed and depressed, it affected them, and they got scared for me. They always want to have a close watch on me like I am going to suicide. Sometimes, my mind took me there, as well. Fortunately, it wasn’t a long duration, but for 2 years, I stopped living and felt like I am falling in a never-ending pit of depression.

    Financial Impact Of Gambling On Family

    Gambling is a predictable game and trust me when I say; You Can’t Be The Winner Forever. How can I say? Well, I am saying this with experience and after lots of losing. In the end, it will affect you and your family financially and to a very critical extent. 

    After I got settled in Finland, I worked hard and saved myself some money to start a new life with my fiancé. But the Gambling ate all my desires and funds. So, I am saying this with full confidence if you remain on the track to gambling it will cost you a fortune. I have seen families destroyed, and fathers separated from their loved ones over this addiction. In the end, some addicts become so financially helpless that taking their own life is the only solution they can think of. Gambling never dies, but you can’t say the same for an addict.

    It Devours Your Friendship

    Have you seen a real-life monster? Gambling is just the image of a fierce one. Before I was an addict, I used to live in the happiest circle of friendship. We care for each other, and in harsh times we supported each other. But Gambling took all of them one by one while I was standing there listening to the crocked voice despair. Please stop and save my soul. My inner voice was shrieking out of misery, but in the end, I was alone on this path. 

    Final Thoughts

    I will not say that I am not a lucky person. I had someone who took care of me even when all hope was gone. My fiancé supported me and gave me hope for a better life. While I think of those past days, I shook with fear to know how far I was in this pit. But sadly, not everyone has such caring souls. So, it’s better to face this on time and seek help. On my website gambling-addictions.com I share my story and stories of many other addicts. This helps them to find help and hope. Share your story with us to be heard and helped.

  • What are the benefits of Group Therapy?

    What are the benefits of Group Therapy?

    According to research by the Scientific American, around 2 million Americans have a gambling addiction. Around 1 in 165 men will experience gambling addiction in their lifetimes compared to 1 in 500 women. An estimated 98% of action gamblers are men. The number of people addicted to gambling is quite significant, and this is an actual and serious condition. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) puts gambling addiction in the same category as substance abuse diagnoses.

    Group therapy is an effective way of overcoming gambling addiction. It may be hard enough for you to ask for help and talk to a single counsellor or therapist, let alone bare your soul to a group of strangers. You may think that you will not be given enough time to discuss your thoughts and ideas or worry about having to share personal information with strangers. The truth is quite the opposite, your group therapy culture can be like that of the wonderful feeling and trust between close friends.

     There are certain benefits to group therapy in overcoming gambling addiction.

    • Being in a group therapy environment means having several other people to support you and help you set and achieve goals toward your gambling addiction recovery. It assures you that you are not alone in this battle.
    • Another member of your group therapy might bring up a challenge with which they are dealing. You might have a similar problem, only you see the problem from your perspective. When looking at other people’s situations, you will be able to see your problem in a new light. Suddenly, something very challenging might have an easy solution.
    • Attending group therapy sessions is a great way to experiment with different helpful behaviors. You can learn new ways of thinking and relate in a safe environment before facing the real world. You will also quickly learn that you are not alone in your feelings and thoughts. Several people likely share your experience.
    • Working with a gambling addiction group is the most natural way to overcome your problem. We work with other people in our jobs and our families. Humans are programmed to learn and grow in the presence of peers. Why should therapy be any different?

    I am a recovering gambling addict myself. I was skeptical of group therapy at first. The idea of baring my soul in front of a room full of strangers terrified me. I would take any excuse not to go. Doing dishes and tidying the house suddenly seemed so much more interesting and appealing. But when I finally did muster up the courage it changed my life. 

    Group therapy really works. It worked for me at least. I was at a difficult point in my life when I decided to get help for my addiction. I was afraid of what was going to happen. Will I be able to overcome my addiction? What will it take? Will I be able to fully recover or will I relapse? These questions haunted me for a long time.

     In group therapy when I saw a room full of people battling the same demons as myself, it gave me hope and confidence. I was not alone, you are not alone. We don’t have to deal with this alone. We can overcome this addiction. Only the first step is hard. It took me quite a while to go but in hindsight, I should have gone sooner. Group therapy is a really helpful and effective way of overcoming gambling addiction. From my personal experience, it is the best way for gambling addiction recovery.

  • Interview with Justyn Larcombe

    Interview with Justyn Larcombe


    Friends and family are often key to encourage loved ones with gambling problems to seek help. I was lucky to have my fiancé, who was pushing me to seek professional help. She didn’t give up on me (yet), and she wanted to know everything about the addiction, that was destroying our relationship.

    After trying to learn all she could about the gambling, she discovered that there is not much support nor articles she could find for addict’s partners and their psychological and emotional health. In this difficult period, she contacted many psychologists, because she didn’t know a thing about problem gambling. She wanted to hear from many doctors what their views on this disease was, so that she could form hers. They all gave her different advices. Some said that she should leave straight away, while others told her that she shouldn’t rush with her decision. Advice she appreciated the most was that it wasn’t her fault, as partners often feel guilty and think that they did something wrong.

    One day, after coming home from work, she told me to check a TED talk she found helpful. It was “The fall and rise of a gambling addict” by Justyn Rees Larcombe. It’s a story about ex-military Major that gambled his money and savings.

     A good TED talk does more than just inspires you – it changes the way you see the world, or challenges you are facing. That was exactly what I experienced. It made a huge impact on me, because for the first time, I felt relieved. I wasn’t the only one with this problem, I’m not alone.

    For my biggest surprise, my fiancé bought me a book Justyn wrote “Tails I Lose”. She knew I couldn’t afford it and how much just a short TED talk meant to me. It was the most precious gift I have ever received, because I realized she gave me the second chance and really wants to see me getting better.

    What an inspiration the book was. I realized there is always a way out, no matter how bad the problems might seem. However, after reading the book, I still had a few questions and decided to reach out to Justyn. To my surprise, he replied straight away with equally inspiring advices:

    How did you manage to win back your partner’s trust? Looking from this perspective, what would you advice compulsive gamblers who are still hiding from their partners their addiction? When and how to face their partners with the truth? 

    Justyn: One thing I always say is that it is so much better to tell your partner than for them to find out, but choose a time when you have taken some steps on the road to recovery so you can talk about the issue with some good news.Even if it’s just to say ‘this is what happened, but now I have self excluded’ or ‘now I have stopped and am going to a meeting’.Trust is so preciousand if you tell them there is a chance to keep it, if they find out, it may never come back. There are no easy solutions to life. Someone once said to me that for as long as you lied to your partner, expect them not to believe you for the same time after you stop lying. It will hurt when they question you when you are telling the truth, you will be surprised because you never even thought to lie. So give them time – even if it takes a few years.

    Winning back trust takes time, be patient, look for opportunities to win it back and if the love is still there, the trust will follow in time. You have to work a bit harder to  make sure you follow through with everything you say, even if its just turning up at the time you said you would and don’t be surprised if they question you more frequently. Maybe share your finances a bit more and don’t have separate accounts or lines of credit.

    Winning back trust takes time, be patient, look for opportunities to win it back and if the love is still there, the trust will follow in time. You have to work a bit harder to make sure you follow through with everything you say, even if it’s just turning up at the time you said you would and don’t be surprised if they question you more frequently. Maybe share your finances a bit more and don’t have separate accounts or lines of credit.

    In the UK, 1 in 10 suicides is related to problem gambling and a problem gambler is 15 times more at risk from suicide than non gamblers. It is the shame that drives this statistic. I think it helped me to be honest and to realize I wasn’t the only one. So meeting and talking to others in a similar position – or connecting via a blog will really help!

    Justyn is the CEO of “Recovery Two” charity that is helping others to cope with gambling addiction.

    Justyn: “Recovery Two” offers recovery courses to all addicts and one of the key things we noted, as you so rightly point out, is the lack of support for those impacted by the addiction of a loved one. The focus always seems to be on the addict, there should be more support for family. Gambling addiction has a particular impact on family members because of the debt it causes. So we run a family support group which has been a great help to many.

    In case you need support or would like to learn more about gambling addiction, here is the link of  Justyn’s “Charity Two” where you can find needed information.

    If you would like to watch a TED talk I mentioned, here is the link:
    “The fall and rise of a gambling addict” by Justyn Rees Larcombe.

    If you would like to read Justyn’s book, you can purchase it here:
    “Tails I Lose”

  • Betting Companies Are Ruining Our Lives

    Betting Companies Are Ruining Our Lives

    Imagine this: you are sitting on the porch of your cottage on the Saturday morning. There is a  morning breeze and you can hear birds singing. Your wife is making pancakes in the kitchen and you can hear kids’ laughter while they are playing with the dog. After the breakfast, you start walking towards your boat, witch you prepared for fishing the previous evening. You know that your friends will come for sauna that evening and you feel so happy and accomplished  after working all week in the restaurant… 

    That was my dream and I was working very hard to make it come true. That dream was shattered after my gambling addiction. All what’s left is broken man, who just lost everything what was dear to him. 

    After getting myself into gambling debt, I started thinking how well the  betting companies are actually doing. I wanted to know everything about the gambling industry. I wanted to know where was my money going.

    The world’s first-ever online casino was launched in 1996. Quite recent, right? Today online gambling is one of the fastest growing sectors. It generates around billions in annual revenues and is growing rapidly. Nowadays we have thousands of online casinos.

    I can assure you that betting sites were loving me. I felt so special when one betting site made me a VIP customer. To reach VIP status, you need to be very active and gamble with large amounts of money on the available games. Because I was spending a lot of money, they give me in return free bets frequently. Getting better odds from them too was just icing on the cake. I even had a dedicated account manager sending me emails, asking if I’m happy with my faster banking and  higher betting limits. 

    Strange to think that before my addiction went out of hands, I was thinking my gym membership was expensive (it was €45). Now I was feeding my VIP membership with €4000 a month. What a change in my thinking. How did this happen? Betting companies must be doing well if they have more costumers like me. I needed to know how well betting companies actually are doing. After countless hours spent on research, I made some discoveries. 

    Just like alcohol, drugs or any other addictive substances people fall prey to. Gambling addiction is a real concern facing countries where all or at least some form of gambling is legalized. The multi-billion-dollar gambling industry provides casino gambling and sports betting formats, either in land-based settings or through mobile devices—something that’s engulfed a huge chunk of the world population in their shackles.

    While it’s quite a lucrative and interesting industry, which puts people’s luck to the test, there are inevitable ills that come with it. The gambling operators rely on hefty membership fees from people—from VIPs to the middle-class stratum of society—who wish to participate in various games of chance. Not to forget, online casinos and bookmakers are increasingly leveraging third-parties to extract people’s data that allows for wider promotions of gambling offers. 

    It’s true that traditional online gambling has become costlier than before, but operators are switching to other alternatives to keep consumers hooked. Data on people’s age, income, credit card information, and insurance are used to tailor advertisements and target people through emails. 

    Gambling companies reward gamblers in different ways. Gamblers are the ones who habitually land up losing whopping sums of money by falling prey to perks such as cash back on losing wagers, free bets, or even football tickets. These companies use “dynamic retargeting,” which allows them to winnow out people who have not gambled for some time and lure them into falling off the bandwagon. I was often receiving emails from betting companies, telling me they haven’t seen me for a few days and that they wanted to give me free bets. I accepted all of them straight away.

    Even if some people have put a self-restriction on gambling, these companies are able to potentially lure them back, thus lessening the power of industry schemes. If one is lucky, they can win a fortune. But if one isn’t, they land up losing all they have. Even when I admitted to myself, family and friends that I have a gambling problem, and that I lost €50 000, I was still convinced that I am a very successful gambler. I was constantly thinking how I won more than half of bets, without understanding that I have actually lost everything, even money that didn’t belong to me.

    The constant urge to try their luck puts people in a vicious loop that enslaves them to gambling companies. Yes, these companies are doing well, but at the cost of people’s hard-earned money, while also taking advantage of their addictive psychological patterns. An increasing trend is online casinos and sport betting games, witch due to lack of advertising restriction do not seem very harmful to young people. In my experience they are very much capable to ruin your life. I know that because it ruined my life. 

  • Part One: My Partner is a Gambler

    Part One: My Partner is a Gambler

    Written by my fiancé

    My fiancé agreed to write about how finding out about my addiction was for her. I think this is the only proper and honest way my readers can have the full picture on how a life of a family gets ruined by a gambling addiction. This is her side of our story, the first part:

    I remember texting my sister on the 17th of December 2019, telling her how happy I am for being with Uri, how life is amazing and how I cannot wait to go home to tell him that (which I did btw). I really enjoyed life we built together, how he made me feel every day and I honestly had no doubts if he is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

    He started being broke in November, and I couldn’t understand why. The excuses he gave me were acceptable: unexpected bills for the car and wrongly calculated taxes. I believed him. However, I did find him being broke again in December, the second month in a row, strange and suspicious, but it was the very first time it was happening during these 4 years we’ve been together. Shit happens, I thought, and we’re here for each other “for better for worse, for richer for poorer”. I’ve been telling myself that this is something we need to learn to deal with together, and if I wanted rainbows, I had to put up with the rain, right? 

    We wanted and tried to extend our family for the last three years… unsuccessfully. The diagnosis: unexplained infertility. After trying many other methods, we decided to try to have our baby with a help of IVF. It was scheduled on the 6th of February 2020. We had been on a waiting list for 6 months and I couldn’t wait to start with more promising process. 

    In January, as our IVF treatment was slowly approaching, I started to realize that Uri is so relaxed about not having money. It seemed like it would be the third month he was struggling to pay his share of the rent and I couldn’t understand nor accept it. I became very worried, cause we needed money more than ever for upcoming treatments and preparations for the baby. Uri didn’t seem to care. He started spending time watching Netflix, instead of looking for additional jobs. As an excuse for his behavior, he told me that he already has a full-time job and that he deserves to enjoy life too. 

    But how can he think that he should enjoy, if he is not finding a way to return money he borrowed for the last two rents and won’t be able to pay the next one either? How come he doesn’t have money? Why suddenly his salary is not enough for his expenses? When I would start the conversations about his financial situation and IVF, he would become so defensive and angry. It was impossible to talk to him. From loving, caring and kind man, he turned into someone I couldn’t recognize. For the first time ever, I started doubting if I should go to IVF treatment at all. 

    Finally, on the 3rd of February 2020, three days before I was supposed to start with IVF process, he texted me, while I was working, saying he will be struggling again with the bills. After me pushing and asking so many questions, he said he has a problem with the credit card – it went to minus €3800. I asked him out of the blue if he was betting. I have no idea why I asked him that, when there were no signs of him betting before. He said “sometimes”. I was shocked, my heart started beating so fast and my head started spinning. My fiancé, who I shared a life with for four years, who I had scheduled the IVF treatment with, is hiding something so big from me. What else is he hiding? What else I don’t know about him? Do I know him at all? 

    I barely could work that day. All I wanted was to cry. I remember I started crying the moment I left the office. Uri, I thought I knew, was gone. I am living with a liar and a gambler… Wtf.. How come I didn’t notice anything before? Did I do something wrong? Is this my fault? 

    That evening we spent talking. He explained the details and how his credit card was maxed out. My world collapsed. Nothing I believed in was true. 

    Is anything he is saying true? How serious is the gambling problem he has? It must be that he doesn’t love me. He wouldn’t do this if he loved me. Why is he with me then? Did he use my money for betting? Was he stealing from me? Omg.. what should I do? How can I go to IVF if I can’t trust him? Maybe €3800 he can return in a few months, but how will I trust him…

    At first I was extremely sad and in absolute disbelief. I was so sad that he was going through all of this all alone. How lonely he must have felt all these years. I failed as a partner, cause he didn’t trust me enough to share all sides of him. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t trust me enough to share his problems with me, when I was so supportive ad cared for him the best I could. 

    I remember kissing and hugging him so much that evening, as if I could kiss away all the problems and protect him somehow. He was saying that he was so surprised by my reactions, as so was I. He was expecting yelling and judgement, but to our surprise, that didn’t come at all.

    After he went to sleep I realized that I needed more answers which I couldn’t wait for. I woke him up and after asking more questions, her finally opened up and told me everything. 

    OMG.. he borrowed €40 000… Hearing the truth felt as if you opened up someone and saw a huge malignant cancer that you never thought would be there. It was so clear to me that this has to be the end of our relationship and that IVF has to be cancelled. I was overwhelmed with sadness because he struggled so much last 2 years with his sickness. If I only knew, maybe I would be able to help him. All I could think about were all the moments we won’t have: pregnancy, birth of our kids, playing with our puppy, summer vacations, all the laughter, hugs…I was absolutely sure he didn’t love me.

    I cancelled the IVF treatment and told him he has to move out in two weeks.

  • My Life Before a Gambling Addiction

    My Life Before a Gambling Addiction

    I was born in Estonia, in the beginning of ‘80s. I really want to skip the part where we were living in soviet times, when there were no possibilities to travel abroad or to buy groceries without a coupon. My childhood was happy, especially because we didn’t have mobile phones or computers. Life was somehow easier compare to nowadays, where access to bank loans and betting are just a click away. It seems to me, in that sense, you had less chances to ruin your life.

    At school, I was terribly bored. I wasn’t the best student and was sometimes receiving remarks from teachers about being late and not paying enough attention in classes. My favorite hobbies were playing basketball and football, fishing and cooking. Actually, for as long as I can remember I loved cooking, so it was clear for me that I wanted to be a chef when I grow up. Therefore, I finished cooking college and became a chef.

    Moving to Ireland 

    As you will see, I was making quite a few questionable decisions in my life. The first one, that will change the course of my life forever, was when I decided to live and work as a chef in Ireland when I was 19 years old and didn’t speak a word of English. Here is why I decided to make such a radical move.

    I have to thank my parents for giving me so much freedom (maybe sometimes too much) when I was in my teenage years. Being on my own, without much control from parents, was becoming a problem, because I started hanging out with the wrong crowd. All of my friends where drinking a lot. Being young, inexperienced, with a need to fit in, I didn’t want to say no to temptations. After many hangover mornings and some visits to police stations, I realized that I have to get out of that circle. 

    Being desperate for a change, I took a risk and applied for a job in Ireland through one agency in Tallinn, where both the accommodation and job were provided. I don’t know how, but I got accepted barely knowing a word of English. Maybe they thought chefs don’t talk to customers? I was so nervous for going there, but at the same time excited because of the fresh start. I was hoping that being fluent in Estonian, Russian and German will be enough to get me started, together with €100 my pocket. 


    Going to Ireland, was the first time I was leaving the country, first time at the airport and the first ride on the plane. I remember sitting at airport in Tallinn, thinking “what am I doing now, is this really happening?“, hoping that I’m going to be fine and that I made a good decision. It’s amazing how some thoughts stay with us forever.

    From the moment the plane landed, I fell in love with Ireland, especially Dublin. Everything was so green and people were warm and positive. I thought this city could become my home and it did, for the next seven years.


    The first disappointment came a few days after I landed, when I realized that the Estonian agency put me to work in “Abrakebabra”, a fast food restaurant. I was promised to work for a fancy restaurant, because I finished culinary college and got a degree. I couldn’t change the job, because my residence permit was connected to it. I lived in a house together with six other people who were in the same situation. At least I got my own room and I quickly adapted to this arrangement.

    The Irish pub culture surprised me. It was very popular for all the workers to go after work for a pint…every day. After a while, I got used to this too, as well as to partying hard.

    It was quite easy for me to make new friends, also because of my love to both watching and playing football. I’ve been Manchester United supporter all my life.

    A memory, that taught me to be extra careful with the expression of my passion, was when one day, wearing proudly my clubs red t-shirt, I walked into the local pub I didn’t visit before. Suddenly, like in a movies, the place went quiet. Everybody was staring at me and I wasn’t sure what was going on. While ordering a pint I noticed that this was Liverpool supporters’ pub. Next thing I remember, was me running out as fast as I could. Luckily, nothing bad happened.

    In Ireland I made my first bet. A few of my friends and I were in a pub when someone noticed horse race on a screen. We all decided to try our luck and make a bet. I didn’t know anything about betting, not even terms like “odds” or “even money”. Standing there, in front of the bookie, listening how he passionately tried to explain the ways we can spend our money, I thought I have nothing to lose. He said that we can still win, even tho the horse we put a bet on lost. The next thing I remember was that I had 50 euros in my hand which I put on the horse called “Russian Roulette” (10 to 1 where odds for that horse). 5 minutes later, I was standing with 500 euros in my hand. “Easy money”, I was thinking, but I didn’t have an urge to gamble again. That was the first and last time I gambled in Ireland. The urge didn’t come in Australia either, where I moved next.

    Moving To Australia

    Even though life in Ireland was nice, with secured job and good friends, it wasn’t enough and I needed a change. I was getting sick of the rainy whether and short summers. I needed some warmer climate and was sure that “grass was greener” elsewhere. Luckily, my best friend thought exactly the same and liked adventures as much as I did, so we decided to go together to Darwin, Australia next. We flew there with only a luggage, fishing rod and €1000 of savings, hoping we will find a job straight away.

     
    I could write countless pages about my experiences in Australia. For instance, job hunting, working for prestige restaurants, spending time with aboriginal community, going to work in the meat factory and getting arrested, traveling to Bali and Philippines, living in a truck and tents with my best friend for a few months, working on a boat for a multi-millionaire, being offered a modeling job from respected scout that I rejected, having a car accident… but I will leave them for some other posts, because now I just want to give you a brief overview of how I was living my life before it became “possessed” by gambling.

    After three years, our visa expired and we had to decide where to go next. My plan was to move closer to my home country and start to think seriously about my future. I was 30 years old.

    Moving To Finland

    I decided to go to Finland, because I had better chances to make savings than in Estonia, and at the same time, I would be able to visit my family more frequently, which I was missing.

    It was hard to start again from scratch, the third time in 10 years. I barely knew Finnish, just had some basic knowledge from the Elementary school, had no savings, job, friends, and I was pissed, cause I actually never wanted to leave Australia.

    First few months in Helsinki, I was very insecure. I doubted my skills as a chef, so I started my career in Finland as a dishwasher. It was easier. I didn’t have to stress or think much about it, but I was in the kitchen and could see how different it is compared to what I was used to. After 3 months, I grew stronger, gained confidence, and started to work again as a chef. My biggest achievement, was that I managed to finish the prestige culinary college in Helsinki and became officially a head chef. 


    Compared to crazy days in Australia, my life in Finland became quite opposite. It was way calmer, maybe even boring. I was doing lots of sports, rediscovered my love for hiking, fishing and camping. 

    Finnish and Estonian cultures are similar, but being abroad for so many years, I forgot how cold we can be. It is harder to approach people and make friends. It took me some time before I managed to make few friends.

    I wasn’t happy. I was putting myself under a lot of pressure, because I didn’t have any savings or girlfriend. I did have countless experiences, but they couldn’t get me a car or house that I started dreaming of.


    After working hard for a few years I finally managed to make savings. I could finally afford to buy a car, Volvo C30, and I think I was the proudest owner. Four years after moving to Finland, I met beautiful Serbian girl, who stayed and worked in Helsinki, after her Master studies. Three years later, I proposed to her and she said “Yes!”. We wanted to expand our family and equally wanted a baby. Life was amazing again, at least I thought.


    In the next blog post, I will tell you how I started to gamble and when I realized I have an addiction.